Tell us about your worst wedding experiences?

[ENormaSnob]

Inspired by diamondsonthesoleofhershoes thread in aibu.

The worst wedding I have ever attended was an attempt at a big traditional wedding done on a tiny budget. Freezing cold room, luke warm daytime buffet with 2 choices served on paper plates that bent when the food hit them, no drinks at all, not even a toast after the speeches. There was a pay bar which is fine with me but not even one glass of wine with the meal seems mean. The night buffet was worse than the daytime one, a few plates of dry sarnies and 2 plates of mummified chicken. No pudding of any description throughout the whole day I was cold and hungry all day. The bride had told me before hand that most of their budget had gone on outfits for the wedding party and the cars. Cars which no one saw anyway On a positive note, the drinks weren't extortionate like they are in some places.

I am not a fussy cow btw, my ideal wedding as a guest would be a village hall type of affair with everyone bringing a plate and a bottle.

[Mother2many]

Rabid! Holy Crap!!! Now that sounds like a wedding who tried to prevent itself from happening! lolol

[Finallygotaroundtoit]

Being a bit common,I have been to many evening 'do's' and love them - uncles dancing with little girls on feet, boys charging about, everyone letting their hair down with cheesy DJ and getting smashed at the cash bar.

Went to a posh evening reception in a hotel once - no dancing, no music, no buffet just waiters circling with drinks and canapes. Very strange

[kerala]

A friend was dancing rather enthusiastically at a wedding and managed to stand on the MOB's foot whilst wearing stilettos. The MOB had to be taken to hospital by ambulance my poor friend was mortified.

All the ones I have been to have been lovely and wonderful except one - a dear friend marrying a man who was horrid to her. THey had split up before he basically wasn't very nice to her. She was late to the church and DH got all excited that she was going to stand him up...It was quite muted amongst her friends and especially her family. Her fathers speech was masterclass in subtle "you had better to be nice to her" without actually being rude to the groom.

[duffybeatmetoit]

Two spring to mind: The 1st was apparently a church+evening invite but it hadn't been made clear that we were expected at the church so none of the evening guests went. Dutifully turned up at the evening do at the appointed time only for the staff to bar the way in as the speeches/meal hadn't finished so we had to wait outside (probably my number 1 pet hate). Half an hour later the groom comes outside and gives the evening guests a bollocking for not attending the church. Turns out they had hired a quite famous choir and they had expected a full congregation to listen to them. We had spoiled the brides day and she was not best pleased. He then returned to the meal and we waited even longer for them to eventually emerge. Bride didn't speak to any of us and the evening guests didn't stay long. They divorced within a couple of years.

The other was a second marriage for the bride. The groom was on his 3rd. Bride had been ExW's friend until she got off with the groom at a family party and the subsequent affair/divorce/engagement had been very messy. Bride's parents had developed amnesia about his former relationships and their daughter's part in his second divorce. The service was marked by the audible sniggering by some of the guests during the vows of fidelity. Betting was rife about how long the relationship would last. Seemed like most guests were there out of duty.

[ReebleBauble]

Memories of my brothers wedding still fill me with horror. I still dont know why he married the woman. Apologies, this will take a while...

I was the only bridesmaid as SIL didnt have any friends being a moody, conniving, miserable cow and was asked to buy my own dress as it was a budget wedding. I was okay with this, it didnt feel right to make them pay for a dress when they were on benefits with a young child. But SIL was VERY specific about which dress she wanted me to wear and it set me back a cool £125 even though I looked fucking foul in it. Then she threw a tantrum about the fact I wore black heels because I couldnt find shoes in the exact matching red.

I offered to buy and do all the invites as a wedding gift because I enjoy crafts and my handwriting is pretty damn awesome. She was on the phone to me every 2 hours for an entire weekend because I wasnt doing them fast enough. apparantly 48 hours is more than enough to do 68 invites when youre working a full time job.

I introduced her to an old school friend who was a florist and whos mother used to do wedding cakes. As a favour to me her mother came out of retirement to do the cake and they did all her wedding flowers and a 2 tier cake for £180. On the day SIL cornered me and screamed that it was all my fault that they had screwed up. They hadnt, SIL ordered a bouquet that was far too big and heavy to carry so schoolfriend had made it a tad smaller to save arm strain. Used the extra roses (grand prix roses!) for more buttonholes and to decorate the cake.... which was also wrong. There was an issue, the icing had cracked in one corner in transit, so the mother fixed it as best she could with artfully rearranging the flowers AND refunded half her money but it still wasnt good enough. Again, all my fault for introducing them.

The reception was actually lovely despite being in a rough as hell pub in deepest, darkest Bristol. Unfortunately I wasnt allowed to stay because DB and SIL asked me to take their son home early so they could enjoy the evening. I left at 6pm :(

Woke at 2 am to hear voices. DB was at home instead of the hotel my mother paid for because SIL had beaten him up with a travel iron. Turns out they had bought coke and LSD from the barman and gotten so high DB decided to drive around Bristol 'looking for his car'. Which he was driving.

We dont speak anymore. I'm getting married next month, and although Ive invited them I sincerely doubt they'll come. Sad really.

[LRDtheFeministDragon]

blackcurrants that is awful.

[boomting]

There was one particularly interesting one which . . . we had no idea was happening.

Despite no apparent reason for any rift in the family (and everyone still being perfectly cordial), the bride happened to drop it into conversation, during a perfectly normal phone conversation, something about her husband. Now, bearing in mind that the person on the other end of the phone was her sister, who she hadn't even told she was engaged...!

The pagan one was a bit strange too - lots of swords, bread-breaking, mead-drinking and a dodgy covers band who decided to do their sound test very, very loudly during the reception!

And then I could go onto the ones that I've worked at - there was one particularly posh one, looked like it had cost as much as my house (they had built an extension to their own house especially for the wedding!!), but it had such an element of 'bridezilla' that all the staff were vowing to elope by the end of it! Oh, and they treated the staff like crap too - weren't allowed to sit down, even when doing nothing and out of sight of guests, 12 hours straight working with a 10 minute break, no food (it's considered normal to feed your staff in that industry; with regards to the breaks - I was young and a bit wet behind the ears) and a five hour round trip to get to the venue.

[FrameyMcFrame]

worst for me was going to my ex boyfriend's sister's wedding.

They are a big west of Scotland catholic family and me being not a religious type was very frowned upon.

I was treated as a second class citizen all day, told that I had to sit at the back of the church and not next to my partner who was at the front with the family.

The sisters also told me that my dress was not suitable and made me borrow and wear a jacket over the top of it. (dress was knee length dark red silk with cowl neck and short sleeves and I had a cream wrap...seemed fine to me)

Also was starved and the bread rolls on the table by the time we actually got to sit down were pounced upon and gone in seconds.

[ethelb]

Just thought I would butt in over evening receptions.

We were invited to one last year along with our group of friends (fb invite to group so we knew who else had been invited) and decided to go as it was not too far (less than an hour journey from our home).

We got there, we were handed drinks for the best man's speech which had over run (whole different post) and then pointed towards the free bar afterwards. Bride and groom came and had a chat for a while with us (being all chatted out to everyone else) and then we got pointed in the direction of the evening buffet. (DP calls this the best cheese board of his life. On frequent occasion. He reached his cheese limit apparently.)

We were stuffed to the gills.

Then we were given cake.

Then disco while we chatted to good friends we hadn't seen for a while who were also invited to evening do.

You get the picture. It was one of the nicest 'dos I have been to. Groom met up with me a few weeks later to thank us for coming and handed over a thank you card for our £20 gift.

You can do them well. Jus' saying.

[ithaka]

Blackcurrants, that is so sad. Truly the worst wedding experience, but so wonderful the marriages are strong.

[Thumbwitch]

Blackcurrants, how awful for all of you. :(

[blackcurrants]

Thanks everyone for your kind messages. I'm sorry to have been a downer, this thread was making me laugh/gasp/enjoy my judgypants, and perhaps I shouldn't have put that post there.

I like cheesy evening dos. Frankly if there's food, booze and music, I'm happy - I like parties! For our wedding we sort of did it backwards - everyone invited to the church and back to the house for booze and canapes, then after the speeches and the cake some people left, then we did dinner and dancing. It was because all my parent's friends who came for the service should be given a drink or four and something to eat, but I didn't really want to pay for them to eat and not enjoy the dancing -that part was for my close family and our mates, who had traveled much further to come to the party (as it was all at my parent's house). My thinking was if they were having to shell out for a hotel or train fare, well they bloomin' well deserved a decent dinner and some dancing!

I agree with all posters about guests and treating your guests well. I've never been to a seriously pretentious wedding now, just lots of family dos with lots of food and booze. I kind of wish I had now! Still most of my mates aren't married yet, maybe my time for ghastly stories of drunken MILs will come!

[CeliaFate]

At a friend's wedding the bride stood up and said "I'd like to thank my parents who've worked so hard to pay for the wedding."
Groom's parents hadn't paid any money and were left looking like cheap skates. Very poor form.

[DilysPrice]

Surely it's entirely traditional for bride's parents to pay for wedding? It's a bit old fashioned but I certainly wouldn't think "why didn't the grooms parents pay too?" OTOH I would then probably expect groom's parents to shell out for a very generous wedding present.

[marathonrunner]

"It ended up with one father presenting his new son-in-law with a match and getting him to burn the IOU for £8,000 he'd given them for a house deposit."

That sounds so cringeworthy!!

[CeliaFate]

It is traditional, Dilys but the way she stood up and deliberately thanked her parents (with emphasis) was done to embarrass her in-laws (she and my sil had been grumbling for months that the groom's parents hadn't offered any money).
It must have worked though, because after the wedding the in-laws handed the bride's parents a cheque!

[Trills]

ethelb thank you - I agree that an evening do can be done well.

[AKMD]

:( Celia they must have felt awful.

My parents paid for our wedding and FIL paid for our honeymoon

[chipmonkey]

How horrible for that bride's ILs! If that were my DIL, I'd have been tempted to get up and ask why she expected either set of parents to pay up!

[Trills]

I have clicked "Report" and asked for this to go into Classics.

If you think it deserves it please do the same.

[Martha1]

At my Aunties wedding her first husband's mother and sister turned up and when she came out of the church they hurled abuse at her and called her a sl*g in front of all her guests!!

[monkeymoma]

Martha that's horrible

[JuliaScurr]

cakeme

[DreamingofSummer]

Marathonrunner

It was truly awful