The Bluestocking Women’s Pub: Where Clever Women Sit and Think, While Gerbils Run the Bar.

[MyrtleLion]

Come in. Yes, you’re in the right place. No, you don’t need to explain yourself.

Coats will be drycleaned before you depart. Bags won't be stolen because Gubbins will play her triangle. And you really don't want to hear it.

The gerbils run the bar.
They are small, brisk, and unionised.
One is polishing a glass with unnecessary seriousness.
Another is keeping the tab and will remember what you ordered last time.
There is a triangle involved. No one knows why. It keeps Gubbins happy.

Sit. Think. Drink. Join in.

The gerbils have it from here.

Previous thread...
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/5481554-the-bluestocking-womens-pub-definitely-full-of-ludicrous-halfwits-who-refuse-to-get-a-grip-with-unionised-gerbils

I think we should take a few of them if only for an afternoon, to give Mummy Possum a bit of a break, she looks overwhelmed!

Have we had what do you call a man with a pile of dead leaves on his head yet?

Russell.

Never heard that one before😂

I want some they can be the cuddle providers

The original joke was politically incorrect because it was what do you call an epileptic under a pile of leaves.

Very Frankie Boyle.

there is a whole raft of jokes by Bernard Righton without a punchline which had me dying laughing at the time

Goes to show, doesn't it - it is just as funny without being ableist😄

That's a good idea - so many of us need hugs that Rosie is exhausted, she will appreciate the Hug-Possums' help

I knew there was one of those that I knew, but could not remember!

The Fife version was "What do you call a man with a brown paper bag over his head?"

Our "Douglas" joke was "What do you call a man wi nae dug?"

Finally, there was "What's the difference atween Bing Crosby and Walt Disney?"

"Walt sings, an Walt disnae!"

You meant 'Bing sings', didn't you?
Very funny😄

What's the difference between a sculptor and a hairdresser?
One makes faces and busts, while the other curls up and dyes.

I do. Darn it!

It's OK, the joke worked anyway!😄

Not a joke, but the most inappropriate name I've ever seen for a beauty salon was for one in Crossgates, Fife: "Wax and Relax".

At the time of the old Esso Blue ads, there umpteen jokes in Fife with the punchline "Bum, bum, bum! Erse aw blue!"

One was "What did the Mexican say when he fell down the stairs?"

I have no idea why it had to be a Mexican.

That was the same time as the "Mummy! Mummy!" jokes...

"Mummy, Mummy! Why's Daddy so quiet?"

"Shut up and keep digging."

Oh go on then.

Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip?
To get to the same side.

Loved that!

A Rabbit, a Vicar and a Priest went to the doctors.
The doctor said, "What's your blood types?"
The Rabbit said, "I think I'm a typo..."

😂

what do you call a man floating about in the sea?

Bob.

@PastaAllaNorma love it.

It's not raining here so far today. The sun is sort-of shining.

I’m drinking my coffee and listening to a very loud song thrush.

Yesterday morning a blackbird got going at 7.22, and at 18.15 there was still just enough light in the dusk to find my way round the garden. So glad the dark is receding.

Yea - a bit of watery sun here too. The dog and I have been for an early walk in case it doesn't last long.

Still laughing out loud at the jokes - love the Rabbit one, and 'Bob' is a new 'what do you call a man who..' one for me😄

Yesterday we had quite a long time when IT DIDN'T RAIN! and for a while this morning IT DIDN'T RAIN!
It's started again, but at last it's that drizzly rain as in 'A soft day, thank God' rather than the very strange unrelenting big drops we've been having for.. years now, it feels😕

I agree with Deano that the brighter mornings are very welcome - dark evenings are OK cos you can close the curtains and get cosy, but there's no escaping dark mornings.

I've been thinking - not only is Boily not around at the mo, but knittedsloth? [have I got the username right?] hasn't popped in recently, or has changed her username - I've been caught out like that before

Nobody HAS to speak up in the Bluey, you're more than welcome to sit in a comfy chair enjoying am over-sized serving of your fave food or drink, and just follow the carry-on with a raised eyebrow and, hopefully, a smile.

And unlike the Hotel California, you can both check-out, and leave.

Just saying, and sending a 👋to former Stockingers and lurkers💙

I visited a friend (P) yesterday evening who was widowed around this time last year. Her daughter and granddaughter were both there and although there was some sadness initially we eventually got around to talking about K's larger than life personality. He was the kindest of men, who loved parties and entertaining (sometimes to the exasperation of his wife!) and was very fond of silly jokes. His daughter said she had grown up thinking her dad wrote all the jokes in Christmas crackers because he was so daft. So we ended up laughing as well as being sad.

Imagine my amazement when I opened up the Bluestocking on my return to find reams of the sort of jokes K would have told. It was a reminder that no-one is forgotten as long as there is something that can trigger a memory in someone else. I have spoken to P this morning and mentioned what happened and she laughed and said he was probably still telling his jokes to the angels.

What do you call a man who is wearing headphones and a thick woolly hat?

Anything you like - he won’t hear you.