What taf is wrong with men?!

[guinnessguzzler]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c78vgm0e3zzo

Wtaf?! After the Pelicot case in France, and I'm sure someone posted about a similar situation in Germany the other day, and now this. Why are they so awful?

And yes I know it's not all men but ffs.

Isn't Animé/Manga a favourite of a LOT of the TRA people? There's definitely an overlap with that, the fetishism of schoolgirl looks (short skirts knee high socks pigtails) and the porno /BDSM stuff

The thing these men rely on most is not getting caught, they often have a really good public image to hide behind. How often have they been on the council, well respected professionals, group leaders, anything that will make people say Oh not him, he's such a nice man.

I'm not sure... I mean, fair enough, you can personally think it's a bad reason, but why is it immoral?

Why is aborting because you have two boys and only want to have another child if it gives you the experience of raising a girl immoral, but aborting because you think a third child of either sex would be somewhat inconvenient at this point in life, not immoral?

After all, no woman should be forced to gestate a child she doesn't want, and no child should be born unwanted. One could say it would be more immoral to have a child one doesn't want (for any reason, including its sex) than to abort said child (putting aside the fact that in practice, sex selective abortion is usually a product of misogyny).

We live in a society where violent porn is mainstream.

Men are watching videos of women getting raped, choked and actively degraded in multiple ways, often daily.

They are being fed a diet of images and narratives which position women as objects and extreme violence and abuse of us as normal.

The majority of men in our society have seen these images - and many young men saw this kind of content from before they ever had a real sexual / romantic encounter with a real girl / woman.

1 in 10 children have viewed pornography by the time they are 9 years old, according to research by the Children's Commissioner for England in 2023. 79% of young adults have seen porn by the age of 21. How does that affect their view of women?

According to YouGov, around a third of men (36%) say they watch pornography at least once a week, including 13% who watch porn every day or most days, while just 4% of women say they watch porn at least once a week.

But as ever, women who try to talk about the impact this has on society and on the way we are treated, are dismissed and told nothing can be done about it, or we're making a fuss about nothing or are being frigid or uptight. Because, god forbid we get in the way of men and their orgasms.

Until we can have sensible discussions about the impact of porn on society, on men's behaviour and attitudes and the suffering of women at their hands - teenage girls think choking is normal FFS - nothing will change. In fact it will likely get worse as the violence and extreme nature of porn escalates.

Because I think it is. I also question the type of person who care so much about their child’s sex.

But that’s moot. I was simply saying that it does not follow that supporting the right to abortion means you have to support all the reasons they have for wanting one

I remember a case from years back which I edited out when I posted because i only knew the wife - had totally forgotten. He was utterly beastly to her, and I can't go into details because of outing her, who is now in a better state. For a long time she put up with it because she had made vows at the wedding. It was when he brought his mates in to rape her, undrugged, that she broke away. That was probably about 30 years ago.

"Because I think it is."

I'm not sure that really holds water as an argument, but fair enough. Personally, sex wouldn't matter to me either, but I can easily imagine a person being willing to continue with a pregnancy if they find out it's a girl after two or three boys, but who isn't willing to if it's yet another boy. Variety is the spice of life, and all that.

I suppose that supporting the right to abortion doesn't mean you have to support the reasons...but to me it then follows that you don't support abortion in that situation. But perhaps that's just my difference in perception.

I'm in my sixties and I agree 100%

Men, particularly those for whom public image is important, are likely to say the socially acceptable things while doing whatever the hell takes their fancy in private.

Any woman who has woken up multiple times in her own home with memory gaps about the night before should be vigilant. It can start with the partner refilling her glass with alcohol when she's not in the room to adding sleeping tablets to food or drink, particularly if the partner goes on porn sites where this is pushed.

It holds water as my argument

I’m a guy and I’d be interested to know as never have I ever said to a buddy, ‘fancy raping my wife?’ Or anything sexual for the matter. I just don’t get it.

Men are prone ( humans generally, perhaps) to pack like behaviour - like dogs. Think about team sports such as Football or Rugby, or combat units in situations of war. When people get together in groups they can easily lose individuality and get sucked into the lowest common denominator...which is often the basic instincts and drives.

I was thinking, as well, of a well fed house-cat toying and torturing small birds and other creatures. The instinct to kill for food is still there, but the actual need for food is not as compulisve as the appetite is largely satiated.

This sexual violence is caused by men and should be solved by men. Thanks to the male poster just now who said he didn’t understand either. But men = talk to each other and figure it OUT. Then decide how each of you are going to hold all the others to account to make this STOP. For your daughters, sisters, mothers, female friends and wives.

I didn't post to start a debate on abortion ethics, but to get us thinking about what a world with far fewer, or even near-zero, men would look like for women.

There is a side order of wishful thinking, that we could just make it happen because we have the uteruses and, in most jurisdictions, have at least some right to decide what we do with our uteruses. But that would involve women being willing to set aside the possibility of bearing sons, and the women with "momof3boys1992" usernames won't do that.

I do find myself asking how badly men have to treat us before we refuse to make more of them as an act of self-protection. Apparently, two uxorcides per week isn't enough, Dominique Pelicot and cronies isn't enough, and this case in Swindon isn't enough.

My friend, male, recently had a problem with a builder. His work was up to scratch, but his converssation wasn't. Initial reports of it made me think of Fred West, but probably I was overdoing it. This morning, fresh from reading here, he was telling me again of the conversations, and I realise it could well have been sounding him out as a possible joiner in of some sort of activity. I had already realised his wife was probably in a DV situation, from his need to dominate, but am now more suspicious. He went on about how he was going home to his beautiful wife, and asked my friend if he slept with me, and did he want to go on a dating app etc. Summed up like that doesn't sound much, but I was getting action replays of the intensity, included with bullying of my friend, whom he had misidentified as a weak old man. My friend is not going to get any more work done by this wannabee alpha. He divorced his first wife because he got home to find her in bed with another woman, and delighted in telling the tale. I was pleasded to hear it. Anyway, it seems that trying to find out his client's sexual interests might be a way of enticing them into activities they might not think of for themselves. I wonder about his workers- they didn't seem 100% behind him. Browbeaten. Lives in Gravesend, operates out of Guildford.

That's chilling. I think this is how they test the water. See how someone responds to some hints and take it from there. With the Pelicot trial, even the men who didn't want to go through with it didn't think to report it.

The problem is that hints and suggestions aren't criminal offences, so you can't report them to the police. Now, if misogyny was a hate crime, as women keep asking for it to be, these could be reported as non-crime hate incidents and a picture built about potential offenders. But apparently it's more important to use hate crime laws to protect men with special gender feelings from being "offended" than it is to protect women from multiple rapes.

There's an article about this in the Telegraph

https://archive.ph/6I9Ro

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2025/12/24/cases-of-men-who-drug-and-abuse-their-wives/

Perhaps read it after Christmas.

This is where stuff like Pr1ck Advisor, and Are We Dating The Same Guy come in handy.

Or given he was a contracted tradesman, a review on CheckaTrade might be useful

The problem of violence, including sexual violence, is always going to be with us...because violence, unfortunately, is a part of human nature. The darker side.
The most we can do is attempt to civilise the instincts,reward the positive behaviours, and punish the more negative, destructive ones.

Just because there is a greater tendency amongst males to violence, especially sexual violence, we should not get drawn in to man hating more generally. That is not healthy. Men and male qualities create half the world and male people can be every bit as loving and considerate as female people.

Some of us, obviously, have had particular painful and abusive relationships with the males in our lives - whilst for others men have provided some of our greatest inspiration.

It's not a matter of hate but of fully-justified terror. We've tried telling men to be nicer. We've tried getting Parliament to pass laws. It's not worked so well, has it? If anything, they are collectively getting worse.

The definition of stupidity is to keep doing the same thing whilst expecting the outcome to be different next time. Are women going to keep being stupid?

Reviews were all lovely, and independent ones written in the same style as the ones on his website, which I had my doubts about. He wasn't a member of his trade association. But nothing bad enough to report to who? Like colleagues said of Fred West, normal builder stuff but more extreme.

Why is it 'man hating' to acknowledge the fact that men commit the vast majority of domestic abuse, more general violence, and nearly all sexual violence? What is 'hateful' about recognising established statistics? Genuine question.

Personally, men have both been the cause of life-altering trauma, and in the case of my husband, my greatest support. I'm not sure what that has to do with the fact that men are statistically the biggest danger to women and children in the developed world.

Porn corrupts the people (mainly men) who consume it regularly.
It's easier to find men who consume porn nowadays than those who do not.
Most of the men who raped Gisele Pelicot looked normal.
Most were married men or living with partners.

When my second, short marriage broke up, my brothers and brothers-in-law all told me that the ex's first attempt at making friends with them had been to invite discussion of their prostitute use.

While I wasn't surprised they hadn't told me of this (disappointed, but people rarely warn you IRL), I was surprised they hadn't told each other. Apparently there had been murmurings that he was a wrong 'un but nobody went into specifics.

It is startling to me that a man would be so upfront, among other men, about socially questionable sexual practices. I don't imagine it's altogether normal (or is it??) but it can't be uncommon if XH2 was so eager when meeting his future in-laws. It's probably much easier than we think for them to identify potential partners in crime.

Other men maintaining omerta about the wrong 'uns are, effectively, supporting them even if they'd prefer not to think so. Remember the police ad campaign about telling 'rape jokers' they're out of order? It really did make a lot of men stop and think. We could do with much, much more of that.

First, of course, we need people or authorities to recognise that misogyny is pervasive and sinister.