What taf is wrong with men?!

[guinnessguzzler]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c78vgm0e3zzo

Wtaf?! After the Pelicot case in France, and I'm sure someone posted about a similar situation in Germany the other day, and now this. Why are they so awful?

And yes I know it's not all men but ffs.

Duh. Ya think?

Not always just about that. It is also about opportunistic sex, satisfaction of lust, when someone thinks they can get away with it.

Sex and a feeling of power often go together for men. “Even tenderness = I am so powerful and you are so delicate so I will hold back on my power.”

I have young adult sons so am pretty invested in the way they think about this stuff. I did everything I could to stop porn use but I’m not naive enough to think they didn’t see it.
One thing I think is interesting is that from 17 or so, from the things they tell me, there is a definite code of conduct that didn’t exist when I was young. For instance it would be considered nonce- like for a boy of 19 to date a girl any younger than 17, and mostly they date within a year either way (with slightly older girls having more cachet). They also think that having any sexual contact with a girl who is very drunk is “rapey” and they know not to walk closely behind women at night.
I have been very honest about mine and my friends experiences as girls, so that’s possibly part of it, but also the head of whatever health studies is called now (school) was very good on lessons about consent, grooming, sexting and porn. My youngest told me porn is bad for women because they are not really enjoying it (only doing it for money) and it’s bad for boys because it gives you erectile dysfunction!
I think they can still be sexist, and testosterone inhibits the ability to truly see women as completely human in the way men are, but I’m hopeful that they are further evolved than men my own age were in their late teens and early twenties.

@TwelvePiecesOfFlair That is so good to hear. I do sometimes wonder if the younger ones will do better with this stuff, I certainly hope so!

They first phrase it as a joke.

Yes. "Bantz"

And another one

100 men involved

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cp9jxv13m7po

Treaclewell · 25/12/2025 09:54
''What gets me is that the religious hold that women are unfit to be priests because we are inately sinful because of Eve, but that all this''

Yes, the story of Adam and Eve is one of the laws of misogyny - you made me do it.

What about the men who raped her? Will they face any consequences?

There's this, from the article

"Our focus will now shift to establishing if any further offences have been committed and if so we'll conduct a thorough investigation to identify those responsible and do everything we can to bring them to justice."

I hope the bastards never sleep easy again.

It's the First Rule: "Women are responsible for what men do".

I type that so often that I can now do so from memory.

@Lalgarh That is grim. What on earth are these men thinking? What is wrong with them? There's so many of them, it's terrifying!

The grooming gangs you are talking about did disproportionately feature men from South Asia yes.

But their MO - befriend vulnerable young teenagers (children) ideally who have already suffered sexual abuse and are desperate for affection, make them think you are their boyfriend, ply them with drugs and alcohol and then trap them into sexual slavery with threats of horrific violence is literally pimping 101. It's not an aberration of the Northern grooming gangs. It's how most pumps get their women. Even when the women are adults they are usually extremely vulnerable but abused teenagers are the easiest to manipulate especially when no-one cares about them or views them as willing participants.

The fact that this was ignored for so long, and the role the men's race might have played in authorities turning a blind eye needs to be talked about. But if you want to think there is something unusual about that dynamic you are swapping one form of blindness for another. People know this is what happens and have for a long time. It's part of the plot of Casino and gritty 70s films. It's also a plot point in Oliver Twist. But unfortunately often accepted as just how the world works. Especially if the victims are adultified due to being working class (UK) orblack (the US). Plus I think some men really need to believe the Happy Hooker myth is true so will be very resistant to information that pops that delusion.

Edited because it's pimping not pumping.

Yes,.I've noticed the younger generations are very judgemental of the sort of age gaps we would have accepted. Boys as well as girls. Which. Is. Good.
The biggest issue is when you have in group/out group dynamics. If the (potential) victim of sexual violence is an in group and the perpetrator out group almost all normal people are genuinely horrified and likely to act. If the victim is out group and the perpetrator in group (e.g. a mate, a fellow soldier, someone from the same class/race/religion) there's a lot more resistance to seeing it as bad. And that's when you see men who would never normally commit those sort of crimes either turning a blind eye or participating. There's things you can teach children/young men to make them more likely to behave morally in those situations. And often it only takes two people in a group saying this is wrong to change the group dynamic completely. But ultimately, it is a moral choice that they make and are responsible for.

Such men have always been around but the Web makes it much easier for them to find one another. There used to be all sorts of shabbily-produced little "special interest" periodicals but finding out about them wasn't easy & one had to havean address to which one was happy to have them sent so fewer joint enterprises were facilitated & fewer men passed from a moment's fizzy-knickered wondering about this specific kind of offence to real criminal acts.

OTH, opportunistically passing around a woman or girl who'd been slipped a Mickey Finn was all shitz & giggles to a lot of men back then. 😡

Wasn't it a (done for humour) plot in sixteen candles. And there's a rape in Saturday Night Fever which is again just accepted as quite normal. The main character is sort of friends with the girl but doesn't see any need to step in. He is also mates with the men that rape her so it's not like they're strangers.

And a lot of that is films written by men. It's not some twisted feminist propaganda. But when women do try to discuss it a lot of men feel under attack or that their fellow men are under attack so there's always a backlash. But if getting society to accept that raping unconscious women is bad then I will accept a few mens temporarily hurt feelings.

This sick specimen looks like the cat that got the cream in that photo.

Name and shame them all.
That's the minimum.
The shame has always been put on the victims.
It's time it was put on the perpetrators for all to see.

I don't think any man believes the happy hooker myth - they simply don't care, even the so-called "good guys" do nothing to change the pervasiveness of porn which is the first step on the ladder to abusing women.

Most men consume porn and the music/film/fashion & beauty industries all objectify girls and young women. It's gotten worse over the past 20 years with young girls dressing like hookers on nights out all across society. I nearly fell over when my son showed me a photo of his girlfriend on one of their earliest dates. I asked him if her parents knew she was dressed like that or if she had changed when she left her house? He replied they did and that all the other girls his age dress the same way (skirts barely covering their backsides when standing so not all when sitting and dresses or tops that are barely there). It's gotten better as she's gotten older as more recent clothing is less revealing at least when she is at my house.

I think it is important to some men. They are quite defensive of it. It's either because they actually use prostitutes and still want to think of themselves as good guys or because it's a fantasy that they are attached to. I am sure some don't give a shit though.
Generally people want to avoid negative emotions (especially now, there's a trend to see discomfort as harmful) and guilt/that pricking of the conscience is one of the worst negative emotions there is. If I feel guilty I can do the emotionally mature thing of trying to work out if that guilt is justified and what I should do in response. Or I can do the emotionally immature thing of deciding the person making me feel guilty is actually an enemy attacking me who has it in for me. In this case man hating feminists and their eternal crusade to destroy the moral of middle aged podcasters young men.

That's a long winded way of saying hit dogs holler. But a more sophisticated strategy is to say, AHH clearly there are bad men but me and all my friends aren't the bad ones. Even if we do use prostitutes/harass women. Clearly the bad men are all in that other group and women are too stupid to know that. Either way another day another succesfull squashing of that quiet voice in their head's.

Marina Abramovic's performance art in 1974 pretty much reveals what men feel about women.

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2023/sep/25/marina-abramovics-shocking-rhythm-0-performance-shows-why-we-still-cannot-trust-people-in-power

Agree. Bring it on.

Another one got caught.

Just how many are doing this or similar but aren't getting caught? Won't ever be caught? Fuckers.

The report said he took her to outside locations. IE dogging. Remember channel 4 and all their BANTZ heavy promotion of this with the documentary a few years ago? They repeat it every now and then to get hashtags or get Giles and Mary to look bemused about it in Gogglebox

30 years he’s been doing this to her. Bastard.

Serious question. Given that the internet and hard drives everywhere are rammed full of pornographic vids and images, and they can be shared for free, everywhere, and given most adults on planet earth could - if they chose to - make pornographic content right now using nothing more than their bodies and the phone in their pocket, and publish that porn to the entire world... given all that how can men or women do something to change the pervasiveness of porn?

My feelings are that to try to do so would be equivalent to trying to push water uphill or stop the tides.

My feelings are that it is infinitely more a good use of time to try to stop the harms of porn (which are massive, in no small part due to violent porn showing violent and deeply concerning / perverted sex being such a monumentally large proportion of all porn).

My feelings are that the key issue is to teach boys the risks of porn use > porn addiction, and to teach boys and girls that the porn sex they are seeing bears no relationship to the sort of sex the vast majority of mentally healthy adults capable of respectful long term relationships want. And that respectful long term relationships are what make mentally healthy people happy.

Girls need to be taught that they have the right to wear what they like and stay safe, but that it is unrealistic to think you can wear what you like without risking people forming perceptions that you might not want them to form.