Page 7 | What taf is wrong with men?!

guinnessguzzler · 2025-12-22T19:23:10+00:00

[[https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c78vgm0e3zzo https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c78vgm0e3zzo]] Wtaf?! After the Pelicot case in France, and I'm sure someone posted about a similar situation in Germany the other day, and now this. Why are they so awful? And yes I know it's not all men but ffs.

Treaclewell · 25/12/2025 09:54

What gets me is that the religious hold that women are unfit to be priests because we are inately sinful because of Eve, but that all this evidence of man's sinfulness somehow escapes them. They are in the image of Christ while we are not - and where the hell is the evidence that Christ was like that? One episode of turfing the money changers out of the Temple is all his violence. And priests have used representing Christ as a way of abusing women.
The Greeks and the Romans and other pantheons were at least honest about their gods' behaviour being violent rapitsts. And still worshipped Zeus and Apollo and the rest. (I understand that Marvel has Zeus admit to being unfit to hold Miollnir in one film. They don't recognise Odin is cut of the same cloth though.)

That tale of the brothers and bs-in-law eventually sharing what they knew - men need to call it out when it happens. But they are vulnerable. A school chaplain, now dead, said to my friend that if he hadn't slept with a girl by the time he was 18, he was, by definition, homosexual. And it was still illegal then. His pupils from a previous school posted online stuff confirming his behaviour, but also the isolating nature of the conversations. They feel they won't be believed, the person concerned will use that fake innocent face and deny it, while damning the victim. The chaplain queered all my friends relationships with other staff - he couldn't go to them.

ILoveLaLaLand · 25/12/2025 13:25

GarlicRound · 25/12/2025 05:24

When my second, short marriage broke up, my brothers and brothers-in-law all told me that the ex's first attempt at making friends with them had been to invite discussion of their prostitute use.

While I wasn't surprised they hadn't told me of this (disappointed, but people rarely warn you IRL), I was surprised they hadn't told each other. Apparently there had been murmurings that he was a wrong 'un but nobody went into specifics.

It is startling to me that a man would be so upfront, among other men, about socially questionable sexual practices. I don't imagine it's altogether normal (or is it??) but it can't be uncommon if XH2 was so eager when meeting his future in-laws. It's probably much easier than we think for them to identify potential partners in crime.

Other men maintaining omerta about the wrong 'uns are, effectively, supporting them even if they'd prefer not to think so. Remember the police ad campaign about telling 'rape jokers' they're out of order? It really did make a lot of men stop and think. We could do with much, much more of that.

First, of course, we need people or authorities to recognise that misogyny is pervasive and sinister.

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I educate my son on this as most older men follow the Omerta rule.
The sad reality is that most men keep quiet when they should speak out.
Their silence protects bad men and puts women in danger.
My experience is that men band together much like professions to protect one another when there's a bad apple among them.
Your brothers' behaviour was reprehensible as they should have put protecting you ahead of your relationship with your second husband, however, I don't think their behaviour is unusual, on the contrary.

ScrollingLeaves · 25/12/2025 17:15

falalalalalalalallama · 24/12/2025 10:07

We live in a society where violent porn is mainstream.

Men are watching videos of women getting raped, choked and actively degraded in multiple ways, often daily.

They are being fed a diet of images and narratives which position women as objects and extreme violence and abuse of us as normal.

The majority of men in our society have seen these images - and many young men saw this kind of content from before they ever had a real sexual / romantic encounter with a real girl / woman.

1 in 10 children have viewed pornography by the time they are 9 years old, according to research by the Children's Commissioner for England in 2023. 79% of young adults have seen porn by the age of 21. How does that affect their view of women?

According to YouGov, around a third of men (36%) say they watch pornography at least once a week, including 13% who watch porn every day or most days, while just 4% of women say they watch porn at least once a week.

But as ever, women who try to talk about the impact this has on society and on the way we are treated, are dismissed and told nothing can be done about it, or we're making a fuss about nothing or are being frigid or uptight. Because, god forbid we get in the way of men and their orgasms.

Until we can have sensible discussions about the impact of porn on society, on men's behaviour and attitudes and the suffering of women at their hands - teenage girls think choking is normal FFS - nothing will change. In fact it will likely get worse as the violence and extreme nature of porn escalates.

You can bet that if there were the equivalent number of terrorism radicalisation sites with instructions on weapons etc - say with porn thrown in for extra pulling power - they would be shut down without a qualm.

Lalgarh · 25/12/2025 18:22

ScrollingLeaves · 25/12/2025 17:15

You can bet that if there were the equivalent number of terrorism radicalisation sites with instructions on weapons etc - say with porn thrown in for extra pulling power - they would be shut down without a qualm.

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Jihadists used to use K1d P*rn sites to communicate their plans as far back as the 2000s. There is an overlap. Also fascists

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-66399561

None of the users who found the information would be in a position to go to the authorities BC of their "interests".

Harry Blake: Paedophile jailed on terror and indecent image charges

Harry Blake had been spared a prison sentence in 2020 after admitting several terror offences.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-66399561

Citrusbergamia · 25/12/2025 19:46

JHound · 23/12/2025 09:51

I know it’s a stupid thing to say….but I cannot get over how “regular” he looks.

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I thought that when I saw his photo. You'd go to a party and meet him and think nothing of him would you; just a 'regular', 'middle-of-the-road' kind of man... I know they don't walk around with 'sex predator' or 'paedo' stamped on their forehead but, he looks like a normal bloke.

RosieTheHat · 25/12/2025 22:09

It IS all men. Prove me wrong.

RosieTheHat · 25/12/2025 22:12

Seriously? Hating men? It’s not hating men, it’s stating facts. This is purely derailing the discussion.

MistyGreenAndBlue · 26/12/2025 02:40

Artmumcreative · 24/12/2025 09:09

The human race would die out

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I'm not even sure that would be such a bad thing really

User2025meow · 26/12/2025 11:08

It’s male culture and the best people to change male culture is men. There’s no getting around that. A bit of courage needed here from the good men out there.

1984Now · 26/12/2025 11:12

User2025meow · 26/12/2025 11:08

It’s male culture and the best people to change male culture is men. There’s no getting around that. A bit of courage needed here from the good men out there.

What did you think of Sadiq Khan's "Maaate!" campaign, and what appeared to be earlier in the year of showing Adolescence on a loop in schools, especially aimed at schoolboys?
Do you think these were good ways to address male behaviour in the area being discussed here?

ILoveLaLaLand · 26/12/2025 16:06

User2025meow · 26/12/2025 11:08

It’s male culture and the best people to change male culture is men. There’s no getting around that. A bit of courage needed here from the good men out there.

Sadly that is unlikey to happen as all men benefit from keeping women down/treating us as second-class citizens.
Women have power over how we educate our sons and daughters though and I honestly think that is the best way to change things over time as there will not be any sudden realisation on the part of men that women are treated badly overall. They already know that and do nothing.

We need to stop bringing girls up to be compliant, obedient and "good little girls". That is akin to brainwashing them and training them to put men first.
That goes against nature in my view and is dangerous for women and girls.

PoeticEnding · 26/12/2025 17:18

Back in the real world ... there is no such thing as 'male culture'. There are many different cultures in many different places. Some good, some not. Many good men keep away from the bad ones so have little contact with them for calling out etc.
This is a problem for society to tackle together.

GarlicRound · 26/12/2025 19:48

1984Now · 26/12/2025 11:12

What did you think of Sadiq Khan's "Maaate!" campaign, and what appeared to be earlier in the year of showing Adolescence on a loop in schools, especially aimed at schoolboys?
Do you think these were good ways to address male behaviour in the area being discussed here?

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As a non-expert, I think anything that asks the questions is a good move at this stage.

Loads of people didn't get the point of Adolescence. Loads of others thought of it as a simple drama about modern life. It provoked a lot of discussion, though, which is much needed.

GarlicRound · 26/12/2025 19:53

PoeticEnding · 26/12/2025 17:18

Back in the real world ... there is no such thing as 'male culture'. There are many different cultures in many different places. Some good, some not. Many good men keep away from the bad ones so have little contact with them for calling out etc.
This is a problem for society to tackle together.

Replace 'male culture' with 'patriarchy'.

There are different expressions of patriarchy the world over, some forceful, some fundamentalist, some flexible, some with a friendly face. Nonetheless, it is everywhere and inescapable. It encompasses good men.

The best people to change patriarchy are men. There’s no getting around that. A bit of courage needed from the good men out there.

Carla786 · 27/12/2025 02:48

ILoveLaLaLand · 26/12/2025 16:06

Sadly that is unlikey to happen as all men benefit from keeping women down/treating us as second-class citizens.
Women have power over how we educate our sons and daughters though and I honestly think that is the best way to change things over time as there will not be any sudden realisation on the part of men that women are treated badly overall. They already know that and do nothing.

We need to stop bringing girls up to be compliant, obedient and "good little girls". That is akin to brainwashing them and training them to put men first.
That goes against nature in my view and is dangerous for women and girls.

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I agree with this.

'We need to stop bringing girls up to be compliant, obedient and "good little girls".'-

Do we do this though? In the UK, at least? My mother raised me to put my own safety first and be independent, surely this isn't unusual?

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 27/12/2025 03:46

Carla786 · 27/12/2025 02:48

I agree with this.

'We need to stop bringing girls up to be compliant, obedient and "good little girls".'-

Do we do this though? In the UK, at least? My mother raised me to put my own safety first and be independent, surely this isn't unusual?

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When the girl in question is disabled, she may not understand the training or may not be able to implement it.

sashh · 27/12/2025 06:09

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/12/2025 22:48

We have this conversation A LOT. The fact is that it is a disturbing number of men. From monsters so vile you can’t think about it, through rapists who don’t use additional violence, to men consuming violent porn, and being ‘just’ emotionally coercive. Then you get men who say those things; rape jokes and justification and minimising. Then men who don’t actively do harm. There’s few enough of those.

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the way to men who are actually allies. Who try to prevent harm. Who stand up for us. And there are vanishingly few.

Put men into a situation that is conducive to sexual violence and where they don't think they will be caught… a lot of them would. More than you’d think. If you take the Gisele Pelicot case and do some simple maths on the population of the surrounding area, and she was just one victim… Many men would.

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I fell in love with Neil Pearson when I was a teen, he was either receiving or giving an award and the host made a joke about rape. He looked the host directly in the eye, straight face and said, "Rape isn't funny".

It was the first time I had heard a man not laugh at a rape joke.

I'm still a little bit in love with him,

Lalgarh · 27/12/2025 11:21

He'd grown up in a borstal iirc. I think he was in a revival of Drop the Dead Donkey a while back

ILoveLaLaLand · 27/12/2025 11:39

Seethlaw · 23/12/2025 13:13

A bit of written male/male porn. May I ask why you asked me that question?

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Because porn trains men to treat women as sexual objects and is increasingly violent towards women. Teenage boys can now view porn regularly that shows men choking women during intercourse as if this were normal behaviour.

Carla786 · 27/12/2025 16:27

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 27/12/2025 03:46

When the girl in question is disabled, she may not understand the training or may not be able to implement it.

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Yes, that's really important. There needs to be extra focus on disabled girls...

ILoveLaLaLand · 27/12/2025 21:11

PoeticEnding · 26/12/2025 17:18

Back in the real world ... there is no such thing as 'male culture'. There are many different cultures in many different places. Some good, some not. Many good men keep away from the bad ones so have little contact with them for calling out etc.
This is a problem for society to tackle together.

And where were all the "good men" when women's rights were being handed to the men with a fetish over the past 15 years?

We all live in a man's world regardless of where we live on the planet. Male culture is the dominant one everywhere because men are bigger and stronger than women and women get pregnant and are the primary carers for children.

One example of male dominance is the sheer pervasiveness of porn where one sex objectifies the other for their own gratification - there are many many more examples for anyone who has their eyes open.

Carla786 · 28/12/2025 03:43

ILoveLaLaLand · 27/12/2025 21:11

And where were all the "good men" when women's rights were being handed to the men with a fetish over the past 15 years?

We all live in a man's world regardless of where we live on the planet. Male culture is the dominant one everywhere because men are bigger and stronger than women and women get pregnant and are the primary carers for children.

One example of male dominance is the sheer pervasiveness of porn where one sex objectifies the other for their own gratification - there are many many more examples for anyone who has their eyes open.

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I agree broadly. I would say though that plenty of people had no idea what was going on with the GRC etc for a long time because it was deliberately stealthy

Also a lot of women have been their own worst enemies, women consistently poll as more supportive of trans demands & act as handmaidens

CookingFatCat · 28/12/2025 03:49

It’s truly horrific.
Then we see the birth rate declining and apparently this generation having less sex then ever?
Because of men and their cocks and their insatiable need to have their cocks satiated at any cost.
As a mother of girls I worry.

nicepotoftea · 28/12/2025 09:14

Carla786 · 28/12/2025 03:43

I agree broadly. I would say though that plenty of people had no idea what was going on with the GRC etc for a long time because it was deliberately stealthy

Also a lot of women have been their own worst enemies, women consistently poll as more supportive of trans demands & act as handmaidens

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Not just handmaidens - Ruth Hunt and Nancy Kelley led Stonewall from 2014 and 2023.

The13thFairy · 28/12/2025 13:12

Rednorth · 23/12/2025 13:53

Firstly, women also produce testosterone (albeit not at the levels of men).

Whilst T increases libido, its BS to simply blame that hormone for male sexual violence...SA is nearly always about power and control, and rarely just sexual gratification.

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Rape is about domination, control and sex.