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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

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‘Demure and mindful’ - oh great.

592 replies

LunaNorth · 25/08/2024 10:10

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm23zye08j4o

So this trend. I’m bridling at the ‘demure and mindful’ bullshit being promoted by someone who is performing femininity.

Demure and mindful women seldom make history. Here we go again, being sent back into our boxes by men.

Jools Lebron on Jimmy Kimmel Live

Very demure, very mindful - are we missing joke of Jools Lebron trend?

A demure TikTok has gone viral, but is it an ironic joke or does it set unrealistic standards for women?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm23zye08j4o

OP posts:
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FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:17

It's a joke. Are trans people not even allowed to make jokes now? Sorry but this has sailed way past any reasonable concerns and straight into "bridling" that a trans person dared to exist, which is obvious bigotry.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 25/08/2024 10:21

Sorry tried demure years ago, not doing that again. I'll stick to outspoken and direct thanks. As for dressing demure what exactly does that mean to someone who lives in jeans and t-shirts, I'm not flashing anything but I'm not feminine either.

Helleofabore · 25/08/2024 10:23

I think when women have been told millennia that they should be ‘demure’ it is not really ‘mindful’ to have a male mock this in this way. If you find it funny, great. Go for it. But others can validly express their discomfort with it without the need for it to be framed as “Sorry but this has sailed way past any reasonable concerns and straight into "bridling" that a trans person dared to exist, which is obvious bigotry”.

LunaNorth · 25/08/2024 10:23

Not really. I bridle at demure and mindful, whoever it’s coming from. I can’t imagine it taking off in quite the same way had it come from a natal woman, though.

I’m in a totally humourless mood today, though, so I’m willing to accept that I’ve missed the joke, if it is one.

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 25/08/2024 10:23

It’ll be gone in 5 seconds. It’s a joke to the vast majority. Ignore.

DeanElderberry · 25/08/2024 10:23

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LunaNorth · 25/08/2024 10:25

theduchessofspork · 25/08/2024 10:23

It’ll be gone in 5 seconds. It’s a joke to the vast majority. Ignore.

I wouldn’t have been at all aware of it had it not been on the BBC news headline page.

Which is the real irritant, I think. Why is this news?

OP posts:
sanluca · 25/08/2024 10:27

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:17

It's a joke. Are trans people not even allowed to make jokes now? Sorry but this has sailed way past any reasonable concerns and straight into "bridling" that a trans person dared to exist, which is obvious bigotry.

I think this will always happen, upsetting women, when male people make jokes or not make jokes about what feminine expectations are set on female people.

Apollo441 · 25/08/2024 10:29

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:17

It's a joke. Are trans people not even allowed to make jokes now? Sorry but this has sailed way past any reasonable concerns and straight into "bridling" that a trans person dared to exist, which is obvious bigotry.

Oh yeah you lot are famed for your humour. How are we to tell what is parody? Rapists in women's prisons, males in women's sports? But just go straight to the hyperbole, why don't you.

AlisonDonut · 25/08/2024 10:29

The BBC are completely obsessed by men who trounce boundaries and the sooner they are shut down the better.

Males have been telling women what to wear since forever. This is misogyny. Not a joke.

quantumbutterfly · 25/08/2024 10:29

Someone in woman face mocking woman....how unusual.

AlisonDonut · 25/08/2024 10:31

quantumbutterfly · 25/08/2024 10:29

Someone in woman face mocking woman....how unusual.

How utterly hilarious eh?

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:32

LunaNorth · 25/08/2024 10:23

Not really. I bridle at demure and mindful, whoever it’s coming from. I can’t imagine it taking off in quite the same way had it come from a natal woman, though.

I’m in a totally humourless mood today, though, so I’m willing to accept that I’ve missed the joke, if it is one.

Most of the people sharing it aren't even aware the originator is trans at this point. That's how memes work.

Helleofabore · 25/08/2024 10:33

LunaNorth · 25/08/2024 10:10

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cm23zye08j4o

So this trend. I’m bridling at the ‘demure and mindful’ bullshit being promoted by someone who is performing femininity.

Demure and mindful women seldom make history. Here we go again, being sent back into our boxes by men.

And again the article linked shows the harm of using preferred pronouns. That this person is male is not mentioned until further in the article which many will not read. So that the real story will not be understood unless this person is known to the audience reading the article.

Because for those who don’t read it carefully, this will appear to be a female tiktokker who is bravely mocking sex stereotypes that have negatively impacted them. When the reality is that this is a male mocking female stereotypes while using those stereotypes to declare to be their personal conceptualisation of what being female is. Which is misogynistic to me.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/08/2024 10:33

So?

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:33

quantumbutterfly · 25/08/2024 10:29

Someone in woman face mocking woman....how unusual.

She's not mocking women, she's mocking gender norms. I thought "Gender Criticals" were meant to approve of that kind of thing.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 25/08/2024 10:34

Because for those who don’t read it carefully, this will appear to be a female tiktokker who is bravely mocking sex stereotypes that have negatively impacted them. When the reality is that this is a male mocking female stereotypes while using those stereotypes to declare to be their personal conceptualisation of what being female is. Which is misogynistic to me.

Yes, exactly. I'm so tired of males having a say on what women are.

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:35

Helleofabore · 25/08/2024 10:33

And again the article linked shows the harm of using preferred pronouns. That this person is male is not mentioned until further in the article which many will not read. So that the real story will not be understood unless this person is known to the audience reading the article.

Because for those who don’t read it carefully, this will appear to be a female tiktokker who is bravely mocking sex stereotypes that have negatively impacted them. When the reality is that this is a male mocking female stereotypes while using those stereotypes to declare to be their personal conceptualisation of what being female is. Which is misogynistic to me.

"Harm" ffs. I'm sorry but that's laughable. There is zero harm in someone not realising this person is trans until two thirds into the article. There's zero harm if they never realise at all. What ridiculous hyperbole.

00BonneMaman00 · 25/08/2024 10:35

Such a load of bollocks.
Honestly our "culture" is currently so ridiculous.

longdistanceclaraclara · 25/08/2024 10:36

The bigger issue is that it's news. It's August bank holiday, there are probably interns running the show.

Helleofabore · 25/08/2024 10:37

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:33

She's not mocking women, she's mocking gender norms. I thought "Gender Criticals" were meant to approve of that kind of thing.

That male person is mocking female sex stereotypes. Not ‘gender stereotypes’. That is forced teaming right there for that male to claim to be a victim of the same oppression axis that female people have been dealing with the millennia.

They are mocking them in more ways than one.

ItsNotUnusualToBe · 25/08/2024 10:38

Demure and mindful? Fuck that shit.

00BonneMaman00 · 25/08/2024 10:38

quantumbutterfly
Someone in woman face mocking woman....how unusual.

She's not mocking women, she's mocking gender norms. I thought "Gender Criticals" were meant to approve of that kind of thing.

🙄🙄🙄

@FreedomDogs that male person is perpetuating sexist stereotypes in pretending to be like a "woman" by performing a sexist interpretation of what our misogynistic society thinks women "do"

Helleofabore · 25/08/2024 10:39

FreedomDogs · 25/08/2024 10:35

"Harm" ffs. I'm sorry but that's laughable. There is zero harm in someone not realising this person is trans until two thirds into the article. There's zero harm if they never realise at all. What ridiculous hyperbole.

Edited

Yes. We get that you don’t understand the harm. And you don’t understand the misogyny that is clear to many others.

We get it. You find humour in things that others find harmful.

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 25/08/2024 10:39

What stereotypes is it making fun of? What exactly is funny about telling women to dress a certain way? I'm gc because I believe in free choice, no one should have any expectations put on them. This is just different expectations.