Spouse says men can use Ladies to change baby nappy?

[Bunty2727]

Im not a mum. I just went into the public toilet (to put up some single sex signs lol) and as I approached a man was just about to enter with a baby, I said excuse me I dont think you are allowed to use the ladies, he replied, pointing at the baby change sign, you can go in first if you like, I repeated, I dont think you can use the ladies, when I came out he had gone. Spouse said Im wrong, he’s allowed. googled and cannot see an answer?

Please send me a news article where this has happened in the UK. The dad just needed to change his baby's nappy so her bum wouldn't be raw red and painful. He isn't the one getting naked. Do you struggle to get out of your house due to paranoia? I have a baby and everywhere I've been has either separate baby changing facilities or the changing table is in the unisex disabled toilet.

Like most women have had to do, he'll have to come up with an alternative solution to meeting his child's needs': one which does not infringe on women's single sex spaces in this way. We can all relate, I'm sure, to finding creative solutions to child care issues when in various un -ideal circumstances.

I can only imagine a very arrogant/aggressive/entitled man even contemplating going in to the ladies in this way, anyhow. What man would think this appropriate? Perhaps one who was subliminally really angry at his wife for 'making him' look after the baby for the day?

In the event, he could always ask the staff of whichever facility what they think would be his best solution.

Thank you for showing the delightful side of your personality
Enjoy

Many 60 year olds will have grandchildren who they have responsibility for looking after. Grandparents do a lot of childcare these days, and many families rely on them.

I would have made no fuss .
For goodness sake, if it were your husband would you not want another woman to be sympathetic? Think of the baby if not the father.

My DCs are 18 and 15 and DH always does/did at least half of the child care. Does this come up as an issue much because I don’t remember it being an issue? Usually there was a nappy change in the disabled loos if none to be found in the men’s. I don’t think is a good solution at all but I don’t recall situations where DH said he had no access to change facilities and he would never have used the Women’s.

Personally I wouldn't mind a man carrying a baby or toddler going into the Ladies to change the baby. Very different to a Man in a frock going into the Ladies to use them himself.

I don't think it's necessarily on Men to 'campaign' for changing facilites in their own toilets either, in the year of our Lord 2024 I think they should be placed there as a matter of course anyway, and feedback should be given to a business when they're not.

If it were my husband he wouldn't even think of entering into the women's toilet; he would find alternative solutions.

So I changed a shit when it wasn't my turn

This point is ignored by all the people accusing sexual assault victims and religious women of being pearl-clutching prudes: not having a changing table where men can use it is sexist because it stops men from parenting fully, increasing the childcare burden on women.

If your nine year old daughter navigating her first period was using that loo, would you want a strange man in there with her?

I'm a sexual assault victim and I don't want a man in there.

I work with muslim women and they don't want a man in there.

Men have raped and battered their wives in front of their own children. A baby is not going to stop a sexual assailant from assaulting.

Really, what we need to campaign for, in shopping g centres, museums, theme parks etc, is FAMILY toilets in addition to Single Sex toilets.
So that men and women can take children of the opposite sex for however that family feels appropriate.
So that anyone can change a nappy.
Bigger cubicles.
Smaller toilets as well.

Ikea already have this so we know it can work.

I've read threads on here where a man changed the baby in a corner of a restaurant. There was uproar.

I've read a thread where the changing facilities were in the disabled toilets, again uproar.

I remember the thread where the man went in with his daughter, yep uproar.

I can't get agitated by any of these pearl clutching threads. If a baby needs changing then do it. I'd back anyone who needed to keep their child clean and safe.

Slightly off topic, but.....paedophiles are often attracted to single mothers, for obvious reasons.

"Pearl clutching" is such a tired, and clearly provocative, dismissal of women's concerns about the integrity of women' spaces and the safety and dignity of women and girls.

As with 'third spaces' for trans identified people who feel uncomfortable with the provisions for their sex,there should be more public awareness of the need for discrete baby changing facilities.

have only got this far.

this is why it is still a problem. He should be complaining that there is nowhere for him to change his baby.

A few years ago one of the people working at the London Museum of Water and Steam was laughing at me for photographing the sign on the door to the men's because it had a sign for baby changing. She said she insisted it was there, for equality reasons. But also because they have more male than female visitors and it was ridiculous that the only changing facilities were closed to the men.

I'm sure he didn't want to go in the female toilet, but what else is he meant to do? Baby changing should be separate so anyone can access it who needs it. In that scenario I wouldn't have challenged him, it's not his fault the baby change is in there. And you're in a cubicle, so why does it matter. Much easier if all toilets were enclosed cubicles anyone can use.

This is really common, I don’t know of many places near us that have baby changing totally separate, it’s usually the case that it is “ladies toilets AND baby changing”. If that’s the case and you’re a man out with a baby, that’s where you change the baby. It’s the fault of the venues for making it this way but in those instances it is not JUST a ladies toilet, it is both that and the baby changing facilities, which means anyone who has a baby has just as much right to he in there as a woman using the toilet. My husband hates this because he always worries about going into ladies toilets even with our daughter to change a nappy but equally isn’t happy to change our daughters nappy in the middle of a cafe (nor would I be happy with that, or I imagine any other people using the cafe when there’s been a poo explosion🤣)

I'm just cringing at all these responses, utterly cringing.

My DH, my father, my FIL - all men in my life that have cared for children would NEVER enter a women's toilet stalls, ever.

The type of man that would contemplate this is an entitled dick quite frankly. If dad really has an issue and can't creatively think of another solution, like women have been for forever then he needs to speak to the management to help find a solution.

Absolute Muppets on here, I don't want my DD to go into a toilet and see any boundary pushing male, even a dad

Yes, he was contravening the law that exists. Legally children are allowed to use the opposite sex bathrooms and changing rooms to match the adult who is in care of them at that moment until they are 8 - at which point they can use their own sex's bathroom on their own.

I was at a large agricultural show ground last week. The facilities are excellent, however we met a family who were having some difficulties. An older lady who was a wheelchair user, was with her son. He was trying to work out how to get his very elderly, mobility challenged mother into the lavatory. We(three middle aged women) stepped in and assisted the woman to get in and out of the building. That man was beside himself and told us that his wife usually accompanied them. There was no way he was going to go into the ladies, as he obviously knows that good men stay out so that bad men stand out.
Men should find ways to look after their own children without impinging on the privacy and dignity of women.

Please cite the law that states men can’t go in the ladies loo and vice versa. Is that why there are so many female prisoners? They’ve all been arrested for using the men’s bogs to avoid the queue when they’re pissed?

What would you have expected him to do had there not been kind women willing to help nearby?

A)Find one of the stand alone disabled toilets that there are in the showground.
B) find one of the attendants/ cleaners and ask for help.
C) ask a woman going into the ladies to help his mother.