Spouse says men can use Ladies to change baby nappy?

[Bunty2727]

Im not a mum. I just went into the public toilet (to put up some single sex signs lol) and as I approached a man was just about to enter with a baby, I said excuse me I dont think you are allowed to use the ladies, he replied, pointing at the baby change sign, you can go in first if you like, I repeated, I dont think you can use the ladies, when I came out he had gone. Spouse said Im wrong, he’s allowed. googled and cannot see an answer?

So all any male bad actor needs to do is have a baby, or a facsimile of one, to enter women's single sex spaces. Why is it always that women should budge up to allow men access to whatever the hell it is they want? If we allow men into women's places to change a nappy on a baby, then perhaps we should allow them to accompany their child, what age does the child have to be for that to not be appropriate? Perhaps we should allow fathers to accompany their daughters into the changing rooms for their new clothes? If we allow one man in, then surely we have to let all men in and we no longer have single sex spaces, which discriminates against many women.

Good point. Men have created entire careers to gain access to their preferred sexual assault victims, e.g. Saville. Dropping £70 on a Reborn doll wouldn't even register as an obstacle for these guys.

Just no. If a man is in a pub or restaurant with a baby needing to change a nappy and the pub isn't family friendly, use a pushchair as a portable changing table or nip back to the car. Complain to the management/choose more carefully in the future where to dine. I don't see the issue. Baby cared for and everyone's dignity in tact.

I'm really sorry that happened to you and that this type of situation is so glossed over when practices to avoid this without offending anybody could be so easily remedied.

What if the "dad" was someone like Gavin Plumb ( jailed for planning to kidnap and murder Holly Willoughby )

I thought this case would bring women to their senses but still not.

#Be kind to men

That campaigning will happen on the 12th of never and the fifth of fuck that. In the main they just don't care.

Not always. If you're in a coffee shop or cafe in a small town or village and the changing table is in the ladies' toilets, where else would you go? Leave and go to another cafe (if there was one) and have to purchase additional items in the hope they had a separate changing table? If the only changing facilities are in the ladies toilets, those are the ones that have to be used.

I wonder if the problem could be solved by asking permission of the management, who would make sure the toilet was clear and put up a sign which indicates a father is changing a baby. That way women could choose to wait until he was done.

My Dad would take me into the men's toilets when I was a child. It wasn't pretty (urinals), but I survived. So have millions of other kids. The thought that my Dad would enter a ladies toilets is laughable.

That idea is batshit. There's a law that we can take children into the opposite sex toilet so long as they are with an adult until they are 8. At which point DD can go to the ladies on her own and be entitled not to see any men including Dads in there.

That men can't find somewhere to change a nappy is still batshit. Women have had to be creative long before the advent of changing stations and there's a point where your little child won't even use them because they roll.

I've changed babies in my car and the park before.

In a small café scenario there's usually only one toilet, they don't have space for stalls, and certainly not two separate men's and women's stalls. The issue is if a man enters women's stalls. Because women will also be using the space.

I have a baby and I've only ever seen separate baby changing facilities (not in the ladies'). My dad said he struggled to find places to change my sibling and I when we were babies and toddlers, but that was in the late 90s. I wonder where OP is that the only baby changing facilities are in the ladies'.

You're bring ridiculous, if the only changing facilities are in the ladies toilets then he should go home - men shouldn't be in the ladies under any circumstances and will likely use a fake baby such as the Reform one posted above to surreptitiously gain entry to our safe spaces.

Men should be campaigning for baby changing facilities in men's toilets. But in the short term, his baby needed changing. YABU. Complain to whoever manages the public toilets and tell them it's 2024 and they need to put changing facilities in the men's.

I don't see a problem with this, the baby just needed its nappy changed. Not everything has to become a big issue.

Women and girls safety isn't a big issue?

🙄

Men like Gavin Plumb are going to have a field day with the attitude of some women nowadays.

It isn't the dad's fault if a place doesn't have separate baby changing facilities. A man who is busy changing his baby's nappy is hardly going to SA a woman who's washing her hands at the sinks. I'd rather the dad changed his baby's nappy rather than leaving the baby screaming because he/she has developed a bad nappy rash from being left in a soiled nappy.

It shouldn’t be beyond most places to provide separate facilities for men to change a baby. There’s more single parent families, more families with two dads, more stay at home dads. No appropriate facilities is a barrier to that. Raise it with the venue, let them know. And men do need to step up.

What on earth do people do in a park where there are no toilets? It’s not beyond men to plan a day out and check what facilities an unknown place has- if it’s not clear from a website (or if they don’t have one) a quick phone call in advance would help. If businesses lose customers because dads feel they can’t take a baby they might find a solution.

This is the weirdest thread. I don't think it is doing the single sex spaces cause any favours.

A few places I've been to have the baby changing in with the disabled toilet - that's unisex.
Of course the best thing would be to have facilities all three areas. However as it generally is the woman changing the baby in the women's toilets it is less of issue for the shop/restaurant/whatever to change this.
By the way when I was abroad there were no baby changing anywhere and I put my portable mat on the floor.
I suggest any man faced with a baby needing changing and no facilities to do so should go to staff and ask where he should do it. I don't think walking in to the women's area is a solution.

I was at a pub with a massive children's playground this weekend. Absolutely amazing. Baby did a poop and the only baby change was in the ladies. In fact they were 2 toilet cubicles in the row of cubicles without a toilet and all nicely set up with baby change table wipes and bins etc. Absolutely nothing in the men's. I was pissed off. I change the nappy because I don't think men should enter women's spaces for any reason nappies included. So I changed a shit when it wasn't my turn

Well, it is an issue for many people, clearly.

I can't imagine my husband even thinking he might do such a thing, when our children were babies. He'd either find the baby changing room, or else would used the disabled toilet.

Women's toilets tend not to have baby changing facilities anyway.

How quaintly naive

In this scenario the gents is hardly likely to be grim and covered in urine, so I'd expect them to be able to change the baby in there tbh. I've changed a baby on the toilet floor in a similar place that didn't have the facilities before and it was fine. (I did tell them I wasn't impressed at the lack of changing table.)

@newrubylane

In this scenario the gents is hardly likely to be grim and covered in urine, so I'd expect them to be able to change the baby in there tbh. I've changed a baby on the toilet floor in a similar place that didn't have the facilities before and it was fine. (I did tell them I wasn't impressed at the lack of changing table.)
On the toilet FLOOR? You are not serious.

Toilet floors are not sanitary in any way.