Spouse says men can use Ladies to change baby nappy?

[Bunty2727]

Im not a mum. I just went into the public toilet (to put up some single sex signs lol) and as I approached a man was just about to enter with a baby, I said excuse me I dont think you are allowed to use the ladies, he replied, pointing at the baby change sign, you can go in first if you like, I repeated, I dont think you can use the ladies, when I came out he had gone. Spouse said Im wrong, he’s allowed. googled and cannot see an answer?

So many posters are spectacularly missing the point.

It's not about whether a male changing a baby the female toilets is a threat.

If there are no suitable baby changing facilities in male or neutral spaces then the default should not be a shrug and "oh well, let's use the female space".

MEN should be shouting and creating noise about the lack of facilities and lobbying for change.

My DP gave up work so his exw could continue her career. He's told me about when he'd have his 2 boys - one in nappies - how hard it was to find somewhere for nappy changed as the facilities were 99% of the time in the ladies loo

So what has your DP done to campaign to change this then @Blushingm ?

the floor of the men's toilet is disgusting and usually covered with wee.

and that's a woman's problem how exactly @cloudy477654 ?

A baby change or the floor of a toilet are not the only options and posters are being deliberately obtuse.

Why couldn't the dad in the OP or other posters partners have gone in the cubicle in the male toilet, sat on the toilet seat lid and changed the baby over their lap?

I don't want men in female only spaces, if that makes me a pearl clutcher then ho hum I'm a pearl clutcher, I've been called worse.

A few years ago I had to take my jeans off and hold them under a hand dryer, standing in the ladies loos in my underwear was mortifying enough without random blokes walking in.

There's another thread running where a couple of posters are stating that female toilets are just as dirty as male toilets, covered in shit everyday, apparently. So if that's true, which I doubt very much, then there's no more hygiene risk to a baby being changed in the men's is there?

But I think part of the point here, at least in most of our local shops/cafe’s, is that it is not JUST the female toilets. That space is both the baby changing facilities AND the female toilets. That means that any parent/carer with a young child has just as much right to use that space as any woman using the toilet. It is NOT exclusively a women’s toilet and so anybody else is forbidden it has been set up as a dual use space, any person changing a nappy is equally entitled to use that space as any woman using the toilet.

Should it be set up like that? No. But it is.

@Dumbo12

A)Find one of the stand alone disabled toilets that there are in the showground.
I'm not specifically talking about a show ground I'm talking about in general.
If the accessibile toilet is busy for example.
B) find one of the attendants/ cleaners and ask for help.
Meanwhile woman in wheelchair is shitting their pants.
C) ask a woman going into the ladies to help his mother.
And when none agree?

It is not possible to expect there will be an attendant or kindly woman around. In any case many people in wheelchairs need assistance. Not the sort of assistance random strangers would be able to give. Nor would the wheelchair user want them to.

Looks like what you are really saying is it's not your problem. Disabled people should just stay home

Still naive and unable to see the risk, no matter how small?

*But I think part of the point here, at least in most of our local shops/cafe’s, is that it is not JUST the female toilets. That space is both the baby changing facilities AND the female toilets. That means that any parent/carer with a young child has just as much right to use that space as any woman using the toilet. It is NOT exclusively a women’s toilet and so anybody else is forbidden it has been set up as a dual use space, any person changing a nappy is equally entitled to use that space as any woman using the toilet.

Should it be set up like that? No. But it is.*

Now you're just sugar coating the fact that the parenting default is "woman". Behave.

@letsgoooo
Most disabled toilets are accessible without going through either the ladies or gents loos. You appear to just want men to be allowed to access women only facilities, why that is I don't know.
Your hyperbolic rubbish about disabled people staying at home is just that, rubbish.

Unfortunately, male predators rely on your sympathy.
It makes it so much easier for them.

A predator with a baby?

I'm on the fence with this one.

I’m so confused by this, I’m not sugar coating anything, I’m literally stating the facts for the majority of places where we live. The baby changing facilities and the ladies toilets are both in the same place. When we go to our local cafe and my husband asked where baby changing is, they literally pointed him to where it is- it’s in the same place as the women’s toilets. That is the space assigned equally for changing as it is for women’s toilets.

That’s the fault of the business, not any dad.

If none of the other options is feasible, (D) Call out to make sure no-one else is in there, then help her in. If he also needs to help her while she's in there, he should make sure he's visible to any woman who might come in, and immediately apologize & explain himself if a woman does come in.

Men shouldn't be in women's toilets ordinarily. In some situations it might be the least bad option, but they must still do all they can to minimize any alarm or embarrassment their presence may cause.

@Manteiga ,absolutely this.

The naivety is mind blowing!

Yes, a predator with a baby or a doll disguised as a real baby.

The risk is probably small but it's there.
Most of us don't want it, thankyou.

Are you also on the fence when rapists pretend to be transwomen and get put into womens prisons?

Unfortunately all of this happened to a family member. More likely to be attacked and SA'd in your own home by someone you know. Do have a few news articles where a dad changing his baby in public has SA'd a random woman?

That's your issue, not the majority.

A doll really?

It’s a sad thing when a father with a baby is perceived to be a predator. Those of us with sons or husbands in this position ought to have a bit more empathy.

How about having empathy for women being excluded from women only spaces by men being included, for whatever reason?

You really need counselling. Rapist's using babies, dolls. Trans barging in.

No, so let's just wait for one, shall we ?

Again, this is what predators rely on.
People like yourself.

This arrangement constitutes sex discrimination by giving men single-sex loos but denying women single-sex loos.

On FWR, I should not have to explain that giving women a lesser level of privacy than men is sex discrimination.

OH fhs you're suggesting a father leaves his baby on a changing table, grabs you for a quicky and attends to their baby. Go find a counsellor