Spouse says men can use Ladies to change baby nappy?

[Bunty2727]

Im not a mum. I just went into the public toilet (to put up some single sex signs lol) and as I approached a man was just about to enter with a baby, I said excuse me I dont think you are allowed to use the ladies, he replied, pointing at the baby change sign, you can go in first if you like, I repeated, I dont think you can use the ladies, when I came out he had gone. Spouse said Im wrong, he’s allowed. googled and cannot see an answer?

Absolutely.

Exclude all women from women's spaces who cannot pander to the penis! Bitches. It's not like they're human or anything.

Man in need = women under bus.

My youngest is now 11 (eldest 13, both girls).
DH never had any problem finding suitable facilities both for nappies and for toilets as they got older, the exception of a rugby game when a female friend took DD instead.

So have the facilities gone backwards, or are men not as resourceful now?

I would much rather a dad came in to change their baby than the baby being left in a dirty nappy or changed on the mens toilet floor! Can't see the issue, if it bothers you wait until they're done. Dad might feel like he can't take the baby out now, I know how I would feel If I had no where to change the baby and was stopped from using the only place with somewhere suitable!

He's hardly going to seem threatening whilst carrying his baby.
YABU and letting perverts "identifying" as certain way to gain access influence normal peoples lives.
A baby shouldn't stay in a dirty nappy while being carried potentially a long way looking for somewhere else just to have to set a hard line to avoid creeps coming in. 10 years back this wouldn't have been a problem.

OP - have you name changed? Also who is it you are replying to?

😄

Yes, I think they'd like us to campaign for them. Or to change the baby for them. Either's fine for them, as long as they don't need to put in too much effort.

@Soontobe60 young boys use women’s toilets too. And I guess if you put the baby changing facilities in the Ladies and none in the Gents you can’t argue it is a single sex area

Its the lack of baby change in the gents that's the issue.

If there’s not a separate baby change facility, or a disabled toilet with baby changing facilities, then he should be able to go in for the purpose of changing his baby. What else are dads meant to do? Change their baby on the floor of a men’s toilet? No way. I’d support a man using female facilities for this purpose, rather than the poor baby having to sit in their own excrement until he could find somewhere else.

If there are no baby change facilities in the gents or separately eg disabled toilet then yes I think he should use the ladies because men need to pull their weight as dads! That said I haven't come across this situation in many years (my own kids then various nieces and nephews)

It seems to me that the signage was ambiguous - unless there was an alternative baby changing facility just as clearly signed. If I had been the man in question, I wiuld have been uncomfortable about the situation, but I hope I would have put my baby’s needs first. I would have been apologetic and as tactful as I know how.

I don’t think this is a common occurrence, and one thing that has improved since I had babies with me is that there is far less assumption that a man wouldn’t need somewhere suitable to change a baby.

A dad needed to change his child's bum! It's not like he can leave them covered in poo or do it in the middle of the shop.

Yes men shouldn't generally be in the women's toilets but a dad changing a baby's bum is not a threat. And I think what you did was really unfair.

But yea there absolutely should be changing facilities more widely available.

A changing bench within a disabled / accessible toilet is also not really the answer either.

Baby changing facilities used to be in the disabled toilets when my sons were small?

What else are dads meant to do? Change their baby on the floor of a men’s toilet?
Yes. The floor of a men's toilet is just like a changing table in a men's toilet - but lower.

They often are, it's not really a good solution though.

There’s not always a changing thing in small toilets anyway. Do people not manage without one? We had a fold up changing mat and could just use that on the floor. I’d think that would be what you’d do in this situation.

Ok then, no need for anyone to use the disabled toilet. All babies can just be changed on the floor in the main toilets.

My DP gave up work so his exw could continue her career. He's told me about when he'd have his 2 boys - one in nappies - how hard it was to find somewhere for nappy changed as the facilities were 99% of the time in the ladies loo

Where was he supposed to change the baby then? My 2 DDs had to be changed straight away when they had a poo or they got terrible nappy rash.
I wouldn't have found a man with a baby a threat.
Also having 2 DDs having no accessible family areas is a massive problem for Dads out alone with their young daughters.
Complain to the venue if you have a problem with it not one individual Dad who's just telling to change his baby.

The benefit (for parents of babies) if changing facilities is in disabled toilet is that there is room for the pushchair and also doesn’t matter which gender parent is with the baby

It's not though the floor of the men's toilet is disgusting and usually covered with wee.

The problem if you're disabled is that you don't have a toilet to use.

Exactly!

I wouldn’t want my partner to have to change my baby on a floor covered in pee, and god knows what else!

I personally do not think toilets are hygienic places, the air contains particles, of you know what, I would only go if was desperate for the loo.
I never changed babies in the toilet, I found a quiet corner.

However, mixing the 2 issues of self identifiers and dad’s using a changing table in the ladies, does the discussion a disservice.

I am completely anti men using womens loos and changing rooms, but if the dad is needing a changing table and there is nowhere else, I understand that the context is different.