There's nothing I can do about this, is there?

[Acunningruse]

Visited a different city today for work and went to a branch of Caffè Nero. I was served by what was very clearly a man, despite his attempt to look female and the fact he was wearing a she/her badge. Said man was wearing extremely tight leggings which, as he was wearing a waist-length t-shirt, meant his manhood was obviously visible. His appearance was a source of mumbling/muttering in the queue and he seemed to be enjoying the attention with a lot of hair-flicking.

I m not able to articulate why this made me so uncomfortable- other than the fact that no way in hell would I want to share a bathroom or changing room with this person.

But there's nothing at all to be done, is there? As any objection would surely be met with accusations of "discrimination " and "be kind".

Just so so frustrating. I just wanted to scream "you are not a woman!!!!" But I can't, can I.

Well if it meets the dress code then yes it is OK. However PP seemed to be very clear that the dress code in that workplace leant towards office wear however, so I suspect they haven't thought it through.

The faux obtuseness is embarrassing.

I wouldn’t bet on it, as I said in a previous post elsewhere, generation Alpha are at the sharp end of this, and they are sick to the back teeth of it. It’s not just the fact that the light of the Cass Report being shone on the harms being done, it’s the fact that it is a fad that is now being rejected, it will become seriously uncool with this generation. That, coupled with the fact that the vast majority, even of students going through uni at the moment, didn’t believe any of it to start with will help.

The further revelations to come through the thousands of detransitioners worldwide will dismantle the rest of the claims that transitioning is always a good thing. Nobody wants to be seen as supporting something that is so harmful to children. My heart goes out to Jazz Jennings, the American child whose abusive “treatment” was televised, at least that poor child’s suffering has been recorded for posterity and stands as testimony to the harms this “treatment” can often cause.

Eventually the insurance companies for the medical professionals that are doing this will consider it too high risk and will stop covering medics involved in it. I can see the GRA, if not being revoked, at least being amended and restricted to only those who have fully transitioned, and only in limited circumstances as the rights of natal females to single sex provision will be further enhanced. This won’t happen until after the investigations which I don’t think the Government will be able to avoid, I don’t think that they will have any other option eventually.

That’s the thing with reality, it always wins in the end, lies can only exist where they can’t be challenged and JK defanged the Hate Crime Laws on the first day, with her challenge to the Scottish Police. We can call a tran woman a man and they can’t arrest us for that. Sorry to disillusion you, but Scottish women won’t wheesht and nobody can make us.

I agree, suggesting that someone who works in a place where the code leans to office wear can go in dressed in a t-shirt and leggings because trans, and the idea that a barista has the same dress code as a funeral director is very obtuse.

Goodness, you're being very silly.

Says the person who thinks there's no difference between a barista and a funeral director and who apparently can't grasp the idea that work dress codes exist and differ between employers and professions?

I agree, suggesting that someone who works in a place where the code leans to office wear can go in dressed in a t-shirt and leggings because trans is very obtuse.

That's not what the poster said, or what the point was. The obtuse joke is on you.

That's exactly what they said. Read the post.

Says the person who thinks there's no difference between a barista and a funeral director and who apparently can't grasp the idea that work dress codes exist and differ between employers and professions?

😂 is that what you took from that post? That a barista is the same as a funeral director? Really?!

You'd need to take it up with the PP, not me.

I know exactly what they meant. I think my comprehension abilities are ok. Not so sure about other posters but anyway, I'm going to follow the same line as cocoa. You have a lovely day.

Cocoa you are a dreadful bigot and literally trying to erase those peoples existence. Wrong side of history

Cazpar yes leans towards office wear but there isn't a dress code.

Difference is DH and colleagues are men who, despite their personal preference for authentic self expression, recognise Peak - a - Balls leggings will make many, especially females , feel uncomfortable.

That and they aren't entitled twats.

I agree, suggesting that someone who works in a place where the code leans to office wear can go in dressed in a t-shirt and leggings because trans, and the idea that a barista has the same dress code as a funeral director is very obtuse.

//

I'm sorry - where am I being obtuse?

Which his employer probably wouldn't dare do if the employee turned around and explained they were now identifying as a woman.

Those who think there is nothing wrong with these clothes, would you be happy if person with their male genitals clearly outlined through their clothes was your child’s teacher, or working in their nursery?

If not, then why not?

Men demanding access to women-only spaces, services, sports etc by claiming to be women are very obviously supporters of the patriarchy. They are openly expressing their belief that men must be given what they want and women just have to obey them.

Ah, yes. The infamous Isla Bryson photo that so perfectly illustrated exactly what's wrong with men in leggings with a very visible princess wand (tea snort!) wandering around in public.

That photo was a wake-up call for many, especially men, who wouldn't normally encounter a man wearing leggings that so visibly exhibited his meat and two veg in what is frankly quite an unpleasant way. The entitlement was so obvious. One could almost believe he was trying to look like a woman yet also telling the whole world he wasn't one.

The fact is that Bryson, a rapist, had recently started 'identifying' as a woman in a clear attempt to get an easier ride and gain access to women in a female prison.

I don't want Caffe Nero man waving his obvious and almost-exposed genitals in my face when I'm trying to enjoy my coffee and muffin. Most people wouldn't. It would make me extremely uncomfortable, especially if there were children around.

On the flip side of the coin, a woman dressed like Kanye West (un)dresses his wife would also put me off my too-expensive-to-waste coffee. Men might disagree with me as semi-naked women tend to turn their heads. However, neither sex has that visceral fear reaction to semi-naked women that women get to certain men, especially the ones that communicate aggression with their clothing choices.

Whether they admit it or not, most men will find a man dressed like Caffe Nero man unpleasant to have to look at when they're having their latte. They almost certainly won't get the same visceral reaction that women get to male genitals barely covered but at best they'll just put up and shut up for an easy life. Because they can. Because men don't need to protect themselves like women have to.

Just my experience, but if there had been several men having a cuppa there I know there'd be a lot of 'banter' about CN man because, having worked with many groups of men years ago, I know that's what they do. It might be nasty, homophobic 'banter' because many men still don't understand the difference between gay and trans. This is one of the reasons this issue needs to have sunlight on it. Also, they could banter away without fear of being called transphobes because that seems to be reserved mainly for women in an attempt to shame us into complying.

Ultimately, it's nothing to do with the fact CN man may or may not be a genuine trans person. It has everything to do with the vibe this man is giving off. The entitled invincibility many of these men have. The protected untouchability, the arrogance to refuse to accept the word no.

I can't understand why some people don't seem to want to understand that most of us agree with the OP and find men like Caffe Nero man intimidating and unpleasant to interact with. Indoctrination maybe? The Stonewall influence? He's breaking the social contract most of us understand and live by.

As I've already said, he's not doing it because he wants to 'be a woman', he's doing it because he's a man. A man who gets his fetish satisfied in public.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

I am getting REALLY FUCKED OFF NOW.

I got another fobbing off non-response from Caffè Nero complaints dept last week "we take your concerns seriously, will raise with area manager again" etc.

Visited again today and the wig is gone but cock and balls still very much in evidence.

Against my better judgment I took several photographs, I was just so bloody angry that anyone thinks it's acceptable.

I have emailed caffe Nero again asking them to escalate my complaint and enclosing photographs.

I'm also wondering whether the media would be interested- major chain prioritises trans rights over customer comfort.

To be clear, I have no doubt that there are a minority of people born in the wrong body who then take steps to integrate into society as the gender they believe they were born to be, and will have surgery to transition to the gender they want to be.

THIS IS NOT THAT. This is a man, with stubble, with visible male genitalia, flouncing around with fake breasts tight leggings and a wig, enjoying the attention, and I have photos to prove it.

I might go to social media. Companies don't like being publicly named and shamed. Although you'd likely get a certain amount of 'ohmigod you're erasing our literal existence' and perhaps worse as well.

Yes social media. Shove the visible cock and balls in their faces. The tide is turning.

Take care OP, I completely get where you are coming from but I'm not sure you should have taken pictures. I'm not sure legally where you'd stand on that.

To be honest I know it's a convenient coffee stop for you but I'd be tempted to just vote with my feet now. I agree that there are glimmers of hope that the tide is turning but there's a long way to go yet, many places will cling to the "be kind" flagpole until the last minute and it sounds like Nero may be one of them.

And that bloody advert they have at the moment ..,

I wish women wouldn't try to spook other women from taking photos for evidence. If you're in a public place in the UK you can expect to have your photo taken because it's a public space. In private spaces the rules are different. If a man's displaying his genitalia in public and it's okay for the OP to be forced to observe it, he can't complain if a few thousand other people see his cock and balls too. In fact he might well be turned on by having his exhibitionism widely acknowledged.

OP, remember you can do the old reverse thing on your camera so it looks as if you're taking a selfie while you're actually taking a photo of the thing in front of you.