There's nothing I can do about this, is there?

[Acunningruse]

Visited a different city today for work and went to a branch of Caffè Nero. I was served by what was very clearly a man, despite his attempt to look female and the fact he was wearing a she/her badge. Said man was wearing extremely tight leggings which, as he was wearing a waist-length t-shirt, meant his manhood was obviously visible. His appearance was a source of mumbling/muttering in the queue and he seemed to be enjoying the attention with a lot of hair-flicking.

I m not able to articulate why this made me so uncomfortable- other than the fact that no way in hell would I want to share a bathroom or changing room with this person.

But there's nothing at all to be done, is there? As any objection would surely be met with accusations of "discrimination " and "be kind".

Just so so frustrating. I just wanted to scream "you are not a woman!!!!" But I can't, can I.

TBF to the manager, speculating on 'what if they worked in soft play' is whataboutery.
And if aprons are required, then they do (in theory) solve or render irrelevant the issue of what trousers staff wear. Which I do think he addresses the OP's issue – he is saying customers shouldn't be able to see a staff member's crotch area because they are meant to wear an apron.

I don't disagree that the individual is choosing deliberately not to wear an apron, in contravention of store/company rules. But, again, it sounds like the manager does intend to address that.

Is there no rule on trousers at all then? You could claim you only owned hooters style hotpants?

If you don't own or can buy appropriate clothes for a job, then sorry you're not fit for the role. There are charities available to help if needed.

Leggings without a long top aren't acceptable in many or even most workplaces. I don't think it's hygienic in a food service environment for either sex really because the fabric is thin.

Also, people who don't think a penis can cause damage are hopelessly naive, wtf.

IMO the apron solves the problem, from a hygiene and a decency point of view

if their policy is not to mandate a particular style of trousers/skirt then nothing can be done, and that's their business, but I don't think it would be out of order to either provide uniform trousers/skirt or insist on plain black trousers/skirt (not leggings

I wonder what their reaction would have been if it was a builder's bum on display. An apron wouldn't solve that and it's much less hygienic.

I imagine enforcing the ‘west an apron’ rule will probably result in this person wearing some very obvious lacy pants or thong to show that through the leggings instead. 🤢.

On the subject of not being able to stipulate types of trousers/skirt I wonder if they’d say the same if a female staff member was wearing a very short, very tight skirt that showed her underwear e.g if she bent over or reached up to something. Or an employee turned up in ass-less chaps. I suspect they might manage to enforce a rule on suitability then.

It would not be unreasonable for a policy of "dark trousers (not leggings or joggers)" to be implemented. I've worked in plenty of settings, from professional offices to hospitality, that had some form of dress code, often much more stringent than that.

I'm so over "bring your whole self to work". Of course no one should feel closeted and unable to, say, talk about their same-sex partner with their colleagues, or have to tone down brightly coloured hair or remove a nose piercing, but at work you're there to do a job first and foremost, and when that job involves serving food to the public the priorities are hygiene and good customer service. Not flaunting your fetishes to the world and crying "oppressed" if customers don't want to see the outline of your cock and balls up close or hear about how you're a non-binary demi-romantic pansexual polyamorous furry Gemini with Mercury rising.

In such a setting tight leggings showing his genitals was inappropriate. Many people would feel uncomfortable. Ditto woman in a tight, low cut top. I'd complain. Also, some sports require a man to wear a shield of some sort over genitals (cricket springs to mind) so visible genitals are fairly rare in sportsmen (the ballet however, is a whole different ball game).

Pun intended? 🤣

There's nothing I can do about this, is there?

Go for coffee elsewhere?

Said man was wearing extremely tight leggings which, as he was wearing a waist-length t-shirt, meant his manhood was obviously visible.

But don't Costa employees wear an apron as part of the uniform which would cover the "manhood" area?

Sorry, Nero not Costa.

@Christinapple this is discussed further up the thread....

Maybe @Christinapple you could read the thread

I've had a skim through the thread now.

OP claims this happened in November. So why wait almost half a year before sharing it online?

A few things don't feel right with me about it. Aprons aside, the barristers serve customers from behind a counter, their hair would be tied back (so "flirting with it" wouldn't be possible), and all the cafes I've visited (yes, I like coffee too) I've never witnessed anything remotely close to this. I don't tend to look down and between people's legs anyway so I wouldn't know anyway.

Cafe Nero are now aware of this thread (I think they have a right to be), if the allegations are untrue then it could potentially be a legal matter.

Not the point but male ballet dancers wear a "dance belt" which is a cup!

My mum usedvtowork in the theatre - she said that when sanitary towels were massive bulky things they used to stuff one down there to enhance the image!l

I don't tend to look down and between people's legs anyway so I wouldn't know anyway.

Wake up Terves, a new variation on ‘Just tell your teenage daughter not to look at the penis in the ladies changing room, you Bigot’ just dropped!

Yeah,it's past time we kept our filthy eyes to ourselves.

You imagine.

“A few things don't feel right with me about it. Aprons aside, the barristers serve customers from behind a counter,”

I know this post is months old, but I find myself wondering if a certain lawyer found himself making coffee on a quiet day. 🤣

😆

I wonder how many hours of flogging lattes it would take to renovate an historic windmill?

I was thinking it was a barrister who liked trains and what was it, spitfires? (planes not caterpillar things) maybe I was thinking wrong barrister though.

I don’t imagine the Train Barrister is anywhere near as grand as the Windmill Barrister!

Both are bloviating windbags, though, obvs.

A few things don't feel right with me about your post, Christinapple.

Flirting with hair tied back is actually possible. Have you not seen women swish their pony tail before? Head tossing is a classic flirtatious behaviour.

Have you honestly NEVER seen a barista on the table side? Cleaning tables perhaps? A situation where maybe a barista removing dirty dishes would not require a customer to look down between the barista's legs, but instead a glance up or sideways at a sudden movement nearby would allow the customer to be eye-level with an obvious male crotch deliberately displayed in thin leggings.

Seeing an overt sexual display that they didn't ask for and definitely did not want in a setting completely inappropriate for it. I don't blame the OP one bit for complaining about this man.

Though the OP's complaint seems to have fallen on deaf ears, so thank you for ensuring Cafe Nero is again being made aware of how uncomfortable and disgusted almost every woman replying on this thread feels about this man's behaviour.