@RMNofTikTok thanks for your long reply.
Would you believe that at one point I wondered if you were sealioning with your question about how to keep transwomen safe? For me, centring women in this question is important for the pendulum swing back.
Without wanting to derail too much into language, Yes I disagree that "repeatedly calling a transwoman who has made a genuine effort to present as a woman a man [is] hateful."
Firstly, it can be hateful but I don't think it necessarily is. One example for me is: women who have suffered abuse and trauma at the hands of a man have the right to use male pronouns for him as a defence of their own naming of reality.
Secondly, people may choose to use pronouns exclusively in a sex based way if they do not believe gender identity exists.
Thirdly, I personally don't agree that it is helpful to quantify or qualify what "a genuine effort to present as a women" is. Who decides this? This relies on gender stereotypes and for me is regressive.
So the choice of which pronouns to use has personal and systemic consequences. Using sex-neutral language is also not always a neutral act as this is potentially biological erasure.