Transitioning man in the womens open changing room and communal showers at local swimming pool

[mummymeister]

I have been following the debates on trans men in women only spaces with interest. But, because I live in a very rural area in the back of beyond, I mistakenly thought it wouldnt be something that I had to deal with. However, today at our local pool, at the early morning lane swimming session, a person who was obviously a man in a costume with stubble and hairy chest came into the womens changing room which is open with no cubicle options and into the open shower, again no cubicle options. Almost 100% of the women at the early morning swim shower with no costume on, including me. We did politely suggest that he should use either the family room that has a shower or the limited mobility room that also has a shower. both would be empty early morning as no children allowed etc. Other than asking the company that owns the pool (ex Local authority swimming pool) what else can I do if this happens again. He was adamant he had every right to do this and several women just wrapped themselves in towels and left. any suggestions? I am struggling to see how the feelings and rights of one person trump those of the 8/10 of us using the facility this morning.

I'd be interested to know who these policies where men claiming to be women so can therefore use woman only areas/facilities are set by.
While I'm aware there are discrimination laws today I'd be equally be interested to know if those that do so would be happy for their own wives/daughters to be put in such situations as the OP.

As a regular swimmer - I am outraged on your behalf!
When changing my DD post swimming in an open plan girls changing room a man entered to change his daughter. I raised hell, complained to the premises/the swim schools and sent copies of 'swim England' rules to everyone. Took a few weeks of emails/calls/yelling at the man who kept coming back - but got through in the end. New signage went up outside the changing rooms asking parents to use the changing rooms of their own sex rather than that of their child. It's not the same issue - but I can imagine the struggle in confronting the 'system' over such rules (which we assume everyone agrees on).

You having nothing to lose by pushing this further with your MP /council /whoever can affect change - all you want is clear rules on single sex changing rooms - and what evidence transgender folks need to provide to 'prove' their gender. Don't give up.

Hope you don't quit swimming over this - don't let them win!

Definitely don't give up. It's not on that young girls have this on the cards. I mean, some of your fellow swimmers might be ok with it, but can you really force consent of young girls to share a changing room with a male stranger?

Of course you can't.

Unfortunately you can't circle the square. However many people are ok with this scenario there will always be women who are deeply unhappy. What about their rights? It's trumping women's rights to say that uncomfortable women have to find an alternative changing room

@JobChangeSoonPlease That's unreasonable, that man should have taken his daughter into either the men's change room or a family facility.

@bythere - completely agree. The shocking thing was NONE of the other mums said a word when I confronted him! There were teenage girls changing in the small 12x12 ft room! I was utterly diss appointed by their lack of courage and sense of solidarity. The second time one other lady joined me. We were red in the face yelling at him before he agreed to leave. I was stumped that this basic rule needed explaining to any parent.

The whole episode just made me aware that the boundaries for single sex spaces are slowly being blurred by trans people due to which most people are afraid to speak up. It's creeping in on us similar to a boiling frog situation and before we know it it's going to be 'the norm' that women won't have single sex spaces anymore. Really worries me for my daughters.

@JobChangeSoonPlease Not sure why it's so difficult for some people to understand that in that situation it's adults of the opposite sex that people need privacy from rather than small children.

I went to lunch with my niece and her husband (both in their late 20s) yesterday, and I said light-heartedly that I’ve become a TERF since being banned from Twitter.

”Oh yes?” replied my niece rather bristlingly - she works in a university, awash with “non-binary” students. I don’t think I changed her #BeKind mind much but they were both appalled to hear of Isla Bryson’s victims having to describe in court how SHE raped them with HER penis, so I left it there, saying it’s self-ID I take issue with.

She’s always loved me and my politicalness, so I do hope she thinks about the things I said.