Celebrity surrogacy - find this a bit heartbreaking

[Nowyouwillfeel]

Irish ‘celebrity’ couple with a new baby via surrogacy. The surrogate was one of the couples sister. They have put up pictures and stories all delighted and excited but I just see raw emotion on the mothers face in the second picture and in their stories the baby is clearly rooting for her mothers breast. I have a two month old who always does this and honestly it’s breaking my heart seeing the baby search like that while the dad doesn’t even notice and that she isn’t with her mother. They took the baby home before the mother was discharged and she is nowhere to be seen.

seems so unfair on both baby and the mother who doesn’t have any children of her own.

instagram.com/bprdowling?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Horrifying.

Should be illegal.

I didn’t really know how I felt about surrogacy to be honest but seeing this and so closely after having had a baby myself it honestly makes me so sad for the baby and mother 😭 I’m now thinking it should be illegal.

even worse I’ve now read they had a camera crew in the birth to film it all for a documentary. More commodification of that poor baby and the birth.

The couple is Brian dowling and Arthur gourulian. Brian's sister Aoife was the surrogate. She's at home with them and the baby now. It was on their story earlier. Why should a gay couple wanting to have a child and a consenting adult carrying said child be illegal?

@Ella28_ is she with them? After the entire pregnancy where she was constantly with them and on their on Instagram I haven’t seen her on their stories or seen her holding the baby? It just said she had been discharged but they went home the day before. No indication she is there at all otherwise surely she would be on their social media?

The baby will be wanting her mother right now - she knows that she is not with her. It’s very sad. A child shouldn’t be created purely to be separated from its mother. That’s why it should be illegal.

The story where the baby was rooting on his shoulder is now gone. Poor baby was clearly searching for the breast.

Why does she need to be seen holding the baby? She is a surrogate. She is not the babies mother. Yes, the left the hospital a day before aoife got discharged but does it matter? She wouldn't breastfeed anyway as a surrogate. I get what you're saying about the baby wanting the breast but babies are perfectly fine and healthy on the bottle. Don't make a sweeping statement like saying surrogacy should be illegal over something so minor. That's just ignorant. Everyone deserves the chance to be parents.

All surrogacy should be illegal, no matter who the parents are, no matter what their sexual orientation is, no matter how willing the mother is. Like it is illegal in many countries.

She IS the baby’s mother. Of course she is. If she’s not the baby’s mother, who is?

@Ella28_ you are entirely ignorant of the babies needs here. You only care about the entitlement of the couple. It’s nothing to do with breastfeeding or not. She should be holding the baby as the baby needs her and she is all that baby has known for its entire existence. That she is not there for the baby because she is ‘a surrogate’ is exactly why surrogacy should be banned.

THIS!

@NotBadConsidering I don't agree or understand your point of view at all. If you, for any reason, couldn't carry a child and wanted one, you could use your egg and your partners sperm and have a surrogate. You would be the mother. The surrogate is a willing carrier of the child for 9 months but has no biological link to the child. By your logic, only male/female couples would be legally permitted to have children. Is this what you're saying?

"Everyone deserves the chance to be parents."
No they don't, many many self obsessed people do not deserve at all to be parents. Its not a right, its a responsibility, and that responsibility first and foremost is to the infant child. Very telling that the image of the infant searching for its mother has been removed.

Ripping babies from the woman who created them is wrong, self indulgent and downright damaging. To do this to a woman who has never had a child before (so is completely unprepared for the grief) is also very irresponsible and I am surprised its even legal. Although I shouldn't be, after all women and children are just commodities to buy and sell now in this foul patriarchal world we live in.

Everyone deserves the chance to be parents

What a load of bollocks.

You cited breastfeeding as the basis of your argument, hence my referral to breastfeeding specifically. I'm neither ignorant nor do I have any vested interest in this couple. I'm pregnant with my first child at the moment and I will absolutely be breastfeeding and nurturing my baby because I get the need for close contact between the baby and the parents. My point is, this baby will recognise the first people with whom she came in contact at birth and who have been nurturing her since as her caregivers. She is missing out on nothing by not having the person that just so happened to carry her for 9 months not being around (although in this case, aoife is around but as an aunt, not a mother). You saying surrogacy should be illegal is vile. What if you knew a gay couple that wanted a baby? What would you suggest to them?

That poor baby, and her mother, it is so cruel to make a baby with the intention of separating the dyad from birth.

Should we force all women who give up their children for adoption to be forced into photos with babies they've clearly given away?

She didn't create the baby. It wasn't her egg. She carried the baby, that's all.

Absolutely agree it should be banned. Handmaids Tale territory and not in the child’s best interest

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea Ripping babies from the woman who created them is wrong, self indulgent and downright damaging. To do this to a woman who has never had a child before (so is completely unprepared for the grief) is also very irresponsible and I am surprised its even legal

this 100%

@Ella28_ they could become parents just not via surrogacy which centres the wants of the parents ahead of the baby’s needs.

She didn't create the baby though? She's a carrier. The baby will be absolutely fine with parents that love her. "Ripping the baby from the mother" is a bit extreme

*The surrogate is a willing carrier of the child for 9 months but has no biological link to the child.

I would suggest that you have little understanding of what carrying an infant entails.

And you are completely mistaken. The mother carries cellular tissue of all their foetuses as well as the connection from carrying that child in their body.

The child has had their body built from many cells from the mother. Calcium from the mothers teeth etc and other contributions.

That infant has listened to the mothers voice and the mother’s heartbeat for months. Do you actually understand anything about the connection between mother and baby? It doesn’t matter at this stage about biologically shared anything.

It matters that the infant has been born and is missing that voice, and missing that heart beat.

@Ella28_ She didn't create the baby. It wasn't her egg. She carried the baby, that's all

if she didn’t create the baby why did they use her as a surrogate? Who did create the baby if not her?

Do you understand anything about infants and their mothers?

One of their sperm and a donor egg. They said this on their story today.

I'm literally carrying a baby right now so I get it 😂 I'm just saying why judge peoples choices? The baby will be loved, fed, nurtured and absolutely fucking fine so everyone needs to chill out.

She didn't create the baby. It wasn't her egg. She carried the baby, that's all.

have you ever carried an infant? Do you understand the significance of the mother who is the person be who carries that infant?

Would you do this to a puppy?