Celebrity surrogacy - find this a bit heartbreaking

[Nowyouwillfeel]

Irish ‘celebrity’ couple with a new baby via surrogacy. The surrogate was one of the couples sister. They have put up pictures and stories all delighted and excited but I just see raw emotion on the mothers face in the second picture and in their stories the baby is clearly rooting for her mothers breast. I have a two month old who always does this and honestly it’s breaking my heart seeing the baby search like that while the dad doesn’t even notice and that she isn’t with her mother. They took the baby home before the mother was discharged and she is nowhere to be seen.

seems so unfair on both baby and the mother who doesn’t have any children of her own.

instagram.com/bprdowling?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

So she went through a rigorous screening process to check her well-being like kidney donors do? She was assessed to make sure she wasn’t being pressured? She’s feels the same now in the days post birth that she did before?

Maybe you’re right and she’s fine. But maybe she’s not. Because no one checks. It’s all about the two males, the welfare of the mother and baby never matter in these circumstances.

And I don't care if the 'intended' parents are gay or straight so please don't make out I'm homophobic thanks

Maybe not but that's missing the point that I was actually making.
How else can a gay couple have babies if it's suddenly banned (illegal) to have a willing surrogate/donor?

She's given her first baby to her famous brother. That's a fact.

And yes my heart breaks for her because of it.

Gay males can adopt. Gay male couples in places that have banned surrogacy, like Germany, seem to cope just fine. Why do you think they’re entitled to surrogacy to purchase a baby just because they’re gay?

Firstly, it is not any person’s right to have a child.

Secondly, this is supposedly one of this couple’s sister? So one alternative is to have the sister always in that child’s life. So that the child knows the sister carried them.

If you listen to the children, now adults, speaking about this. Having that mother in their life is the best way. Complete honestly and involvement to some degree.

There are ways to do this. This early separation is most likely not it.

@ToGanymedeAndTitan

How else can a gay couple have babies if it's suddenly banned (illegal) to have a willing surrogate/donor?

two men can’t have a baby. It’s unfortunate but it’s biology. They could look into adoption or fostering if they want to become parents but neither are substitutes. Plenty of single people, infertile couples who would love to have babies too. Life isn’t fair and as an innocent baby is impacted by surrogacy the baby has to come first.

As bad as it is to treat a baby by surrogacy as a commodity but to use social media to further commodify this pregnancy and make money off the baby and it's birth is so off.

So she went through a rigorous screening process to check her well-being like kidney donors do
Because no one checks. It’s all about the two males
When does that ever happen when you're pregnant though?!
You don't get a mental well being check list and questions on do you really want a baby with your husband, do you have adequate living space and disposable income for a new baby etc etc etc, why would it be any different if you're a surrogate?!

In Ireland the surrogate is the mother on the birth cert.

Surrogacy is completely banned in most of Europe. Being able to buy a baby is not a human right.

OP, would you be OK with a lesbian couple?

Why would that be different if one of the females was not carrying that child?

Oh look @ToGanymedeAndTitan s a woman who has never even had any fertility treatment

What a surprise

Wow just wow

Because in a normal pregnancy the woman is not giving that baby away is she?🙄 So why would you need that process generally? And in fact most units screen for DV and coercive control. And if a baby is to be removed from its mother at birth that’s a decision a judge makes because of how significant it is.

So why is a baby able to be removed from a woman with less concern about the woman that there would be if she’s giving a kidney away and less consideration for the baby’s wellbeing than in the most difficult of child protection circumstances? It takes a hell of a lot for a judge to rule to remove a baby from its mother - very high risk of harm outweighing the harm done by the baby’s removal. But in surrogacy? No one cares. Why?

And in fact most units screen for DV and coercive control
That a new thing?
Certainly wasn't when I had mine

eer, no, not everyone 'deserves the right'.
Surrogacy is just odd, and unfair to the child - it either doesn't have contact with birth mother, in which case, it would have to wait until it was old enough to trace her, or there is contact, which would be v confusing for child
It is selfish

Just all the drama in the original post about the heartbreak for the baby rooting for the breast. I was curious.

@RichmondMumof2 yes I am against surrogacy for anyone - I don’t see what their sexual orientation has to do with anythibg

No idea what that is supposed to mean?
Ok, I haven't, but that's not what my posts were referring to?
I was saying how can gay men be parents then.
Without surrogates.
Just what are you saying, they shouldn't be allowed babies because they're not "built that way" or what?
I mean, they can't do it naturally. So what do they do?
Nothing wrong with you having fertility treatment if you can't have naturally, not sure why you're insinuating otherwise

When did you have a baby? It’s been around for years. Midwives screen for risk of DV, subtly if they have to, usually when women are on their own, often use a particular marker to flag it up. I remember one unit years ago used to put a red dot sticker on the paper chart. It’s not new at all.

So who pulls these surrogate women aside to screen as to whether their being coerced into such an arrangement? Even if this particular situation is not that, why aren’t such possibilities considered?

The baby I'm carrying was created with my egg and my partners sperm. The baby aoife carried was created by a donor egg and sperm from one of the fathers. Aoife, I assume, consented to being a carrier for her brother and his husbands baby and so, presumably understood the implications. We will never know what exactly happened between them all but my point is that making a statement like "surrogacy should be illegal" alienates a lot of people and is a dated view point (in my opinion).

When did you have a baby? It’s been around for years.
Mid noughties
So not that many years then depending on how far back you're going

Everyone deserves the chance to be parents

Nope, sometimes we just have to accept our fate.

Surrogacy involves creating a baby-to-order for the benefit of over-entitled adults.
It's never about the needs and welfare of the baby.