SolasAnla
I think it would be a really good thing if the gay community, and by that I mean men, would start policing themselves a little more on this. In the sense of making it a serious discussion in their community, obviously no one has the power to enforce it. But it needs to be talked about.
I think part of the reason it gets a pass is because a lot of the people who might think twice are a little nervous to bring it up. There is a huge amount of pressure around bringing into the open things that seem to admit that certain negative things are popular, you ca see it in things like the monkeypox controversies, or talking about underage teen males in the gay community. So there is a kind of pressure to just keep quiet about it.
And then plenty of gay men have no real interaction with the wider gay community, they aren't involved in the club scene, drag, etc. Quite reasonably they don't think it's something they bear responsibility for. If it goes wrong though they are likely to be affected.
And then the other problem is if they do speak up, they may immediately dismissed as "not one of us" and somehow right wing, all the stuff we usually see when people say what they aren't supposed to on the left.