School allowing boy to change in girls changing room secondary school

[Saffy6]

Hi my teenage daughter has told me there is a boy who identifies as a girl changing with the girls in their communal changing room. I have emailed the school who have confirmed this and stated that cases are dealt with individually but in most cases “trans students would have access to the changing room or toilet that corresponds to their gender identity. This approach is supported by the equality act 2010” None of the parents have been informed. Some of the girls are uncomfortable but do not feel they can say anything as they are afraid of being accused of transphobia.

My other daughter in year 9 has 3 girls in her class now identifying as boys (changed name and pronouns). Surely if they want to change in the boys changing rooms they will be allowed to too?

I’ve contacted safe schools alliance and I intend to challenge this policy. My question is, is this the norm? What is your schools policy on transgender kids and changing rooms and has anyone been in a similar position where you challenged this policy and what was the outcome?

The solution is simple. Boys and males regardless if identity or sexuality change in the boys changing rooms.

Girls amd females regardless of sexulity and identity change in the girls changing room.

Equal provision for both sets. The rest is irrelevant.

Privacy dignity in tact for all.

That's not favouring girls as the boys have their own.space too.

Theres really no need to be so rude when someone has a different opinion to you. You're not better than anyone else.

Goodness me, this is not difficult, we have single sex spaces for reasons of privacy and dignity, regardless of whether someone poses a danger.

Example: I spent the best part of 15 years taking myself off and getting changed in the loo on my own time after time without any mental scarring. I work in entertainment and the part I work in have more often than not been the only woman in the room.

I don't want to strip off in front of my male colleagues in the single dressing room - whether that's old friends or people I've just met. They'll be plenty of other women doing things like this, with no tantrums.

I feel this is also a snowflake era thing as well. 'I'm / my DC is so oppressed, damaged and offended that everything they want isn't being given to them'.

The irony in your post is really quite striking.

You're on a feminist board. A community of women where we talk, learn, share ideas and knowledge. When you use language like same old argument of women and girls trumping everyone else, no need for your hysteria about forcing and What I object to is the instant up in arms when it comes to women (and that's from just one of your posts) you display your inherent anti women bias.

You have spent endless posts on this thread berating, smearing and criticising while giving little of substance about why these girls are being forced to undress in front of a boy. It's beginning to appear that you're not posting in good faith, just hectoring women.

The irony in your post is really quite striking.

?????

I'm not saying this kid changing with OPs DD is like that, but it has been mentioned that girls aren't threatened by male pupils at that age. We are.

I also can think of two boys who would definitely have tried it on at that age to change with us. Again not saying the kid referred to by the OP is doing that. The idea it's impossible in general at that age though is ludicrous.

It is. It's complete nonsense.

Thank you. I am going to chase the school tomorrow. I had already thought about that. Hopefully I have made them reconsider and will insist that they make a commitment to single sex spaces while also offering children considering changing their sex another space if they do not feel comfortable changing with their biological sex.

Well done OP, if you can, let us know how it goes.

You have spent endless posts on this thread berating, smearing and criticising while giving little of substance about why these girls are being forced to undress in front of a boy. It's beginning to appear that you're not posting in good faith, just hectoring women

We never do get an explanation as to why unconsenting friemds/classmates/colleagues etc have any obligation to go along with it. The only person the identity matters to is the person who has it. It cannot be defined or verified between a verbal declaration. Brain scans, blood tests, etc show nothing. Why does this have to affect the girls this way. If it only works cos other people have to be forced ro validate it then that's not a stable course of " treatment " is it.

Schools shouldn't be involved in gender identity at all. It's irrelevant.

Admire your persistence and courage OP. Good luck!

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou

Do you have experience of regularly getting undressed in front of males who are not your family, because I actually do and I can attest that it's very uncomfortable, even with some of my best male friends. I'm assuming you're female.

OP good luck, from my own experience not all females want to get undressed in front of males, and when it's in their changing room their needs trump the male in the room. It's called being fair and I'm sure this boy can cope with separating himself once a week if he can't bear to be with the boys.

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou
You seem to think we only support the OP because her child is a girl. You're wrong, we support continuing single sex provision for both sexes.

You appear to both support the single sex spaces and think it's outdated to object to seeing random 'gasp' penis in female space.

Why do you support single sex spaces?

Because its a grey argument.

Ultimately yes I support single sex spaces.

However, I object to the simplifying of the issue. It's almost like the feelings of the trans child goes out the window as soon as it is mentioned.

I don't think it's outdated to object. But I think that on many of these threads children, and they are children are spoken about in a disgusting manner.

It is possible to support single sex spaces without trying to suggest that the thought of a girl having to see a boy undress is therefore fine to be as abusive and offensive ahout the other child as possible.

No.

The relevance?

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou
I have now read the whole thread and can't see where any posters are nasty about the male child in question, in fact the OP contributed' I don’t blame the boy , it is the schools fault for allowing this to happen. I just don’t know whether they will back down and tell him he can no longer change in girls changing room.' Which, it seems, is the general gist of the other responders.

Can you please provide an example of nastiness about this particular child?

When I got things clarified with my school I did have sympathy with the boy. He himself had been misled by adults who should have known better. He was also a victim as the school did not properly understand and implement the Equality Act 2010. There is nothing grey about this it is black and white. Single sex changing rooms. If the male does not want to change with the boys he gets alternative provision. It would be discrimination if the school said you can't do PE because we don't have a separate changing for you.
If this isn't the result the OP gets then there is something very wrong at that school.

@LK1972 The poster who suggested all of the girls went on strike

The poster who suggested OP told ebery parent

The poster who suggested OP went to the papers.

Not directly nasty but is this acceptable behaviour to subject the teen who didn't make the bloody decision to?

Posters are making out the child demanded the space. It's far more likely a teacher allowed it. It'd hardly their fault.

Agreed about the school. Telling the chold they now can't because people have complained is worse than it would have been to not let him in in the first place.

@FemaleAndLearning You had sympathy for the boy, you were annoyed at the adults, but you didn't think it should have happened.

That is grey! What I mean by grey is that you don't have to favour one over the pther!

To those posting to each other about how awful I am for coming on and disagreeing with them, I've been at work qnd just read back.

I have taken on board everyone else's views but been called wrong, misinformed and been spokem about rudely because i think trans is a grey issue. it's not us doing the shutting down or silencing (and I certainly don't agree with anyone calling anyone a bigot or a terf or anything like that, totally unacceptablel.. There is a thread running now where a woman asked if she was a bigot because of a view which I strongly disagree with. My post was to say i disagree with her views but I'm very sorry she's been called a bigot. I have not been shown the same respect. We are all human.

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou
As you say, that's not actually nasty to the boy, is it.

Nobody blames the child fgs, it's a child, we're not monsters, of course it's the school that people have issues with!

Oh I definitely favour the safety, dignity and privacy of girls. I would have fought tooth and nail to keep the girls changing rooms single sex.

You think it's OK to splash it all over the papers?

This is two different discussions.

I have said numerous types I don't agree with mixed.

What I'm saying is the manner and expression of stuff isn't on. This is another child. A real human being.

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou
If the school is behaving this way and is not open to any compromise what other choice is there?

But, and only, after trying to get school to understand the issues- personally hate it that the school is putting this child in an untenable position. It is their fault, and theirs only, in this situation.

Sorry, didn't finish before posting, but how would you go about in this situation, as you agree the grievance is fair, but disapprove of suggested methods?