School allowing boy to change in girls changing room secondary school

[Saffy6]

Hi my teenage daughter has told me there is a boy who identifies as a girl changing with the girls in their communal changing room. I have emailed the school who have confirmed this and stated that cases are dealt with individually but in most cases “trans students would have access to the changing room or toilet that corresponds to their gender identity. This approach is supported by the equality act 2010” None of the parents have been informed. Some of the girls are uncomfortable but do not feel they can say anything as they are afraid of being accused of transphobia.

My other daughter in year 9 has 3 girls in her class now identifying as boys (changed name and pronouns). Surely if they want to change in the boys changing rooms they will be allowed to too?

I’ve contacted safe schools alliance and I intend to challenge this policy. My question is, is this the norm? What is your schools policy on transgender kids and changing rooms and has anyone been in a similar position where you challenged this policy and what was the outcome?

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@Whatwouldscullydo

The wrong body is no longer a thing you realise that?

Its transphobic to say kids are in the wrong body.

Yes.

[Whatwouldscullydo]

So if someone is telling them they are in the wrong body then they are lying yes?

Teachers shouldn't be using thay term or telling kids they are in the wrong body.

So any reference to a lady/girl brain is a lie and so what's it all based on then?

What is female about this male child that means they are a girl and belong in with the girls?

[Whatwouldscullydo]

I mean this can't be right surely. You don't think this makes the kid a girl do you?

So why is this child changing with the girls.

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@Whatwouldscullydo

So if someone is telling them they are in the wrong body then they are lying yes?

Teachers shouldn't be using thay term or telling kids they are in the wrong body.

So any reference to a lady/girl brain is a lie and so what's it all based on then?

What is female about this male child that means they are a girl and belong in with the girls?

This is all beside the point.

We have digressed very far from.the original point. Wharever your views, whatever mine, they are children. It baffles me that posters on these forums honestly think that their views on trans is so right and informative that schools.will change their language, policies and ways.

Incidentally, the born in the wrong body isn't something I personally would have any hand in. I'd be asked to respect.tje pronouns and support the child In whatever way smt told me to. Like I said, in the real world, opinions don't pay the bills.

[Whatwouldscullydo]

Its exactly the point though.

That they deem this male child a girl but no one agrees what a girl is.

And in your desperation to disagree with us we so far have - this child male child deserves privacy but you don't understand why we need single sex facilities.

Teachers will lose their job for telling kids they aren't in the wrong body but you concede that there's no such thing as the wrong body as quoted by the experts themselves.

You think enforcing a legal right to a single sex space is favouring girls over boys even though the boys have a single sex space too.

The girls striking is unkind and unnecessary and if they are half with lesbians I the changing room.they should be OK with a male.

You claim.to know or work with trans people but cannot define.trans or gender identity ajd cabt explain why this child should be in with the girls.

Whether or not you think we think we are right at least we can define terms .

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@Whatwouldscullydo

Its exactly the point though.

That they deem this male child a girl but no one agrees what a girl is.

And in your desperation to disagree with us we so far have - this child male child deserves privacy but you don't understand why we need single sex facilities.

Teachers will lose their job for telling kids they aren't in the wrong body but you concede that there's no such thing as the wrong body as quoted by the experts themselves.

You think enforcing a legal right to a single sex space is favouring girls over boys even though the boys have a single sex space too.

The girls striking is unkind and unnecessary and if they are half with lesbians I the changing room.they should be OK with a male.

You claim.to know or work with trans people but cannot define.trans or gender identity ajd cabt explain why this child should be in with the girls.

Whether or not you think we think we are right at least we can define terms .

🤣 not one of those sentences is correct, or anything like what I said.

It's actually getting amusing now how many times I have said i don't agree with mixed spaces!

[Whatwouldscullydo]

But you don't understand why we have them?

So which is it?

And you said this child is in.all.other respect s a girl but you haven't told us what a girl is.

[MrsOvertonsWindow]

If you actually look at comments that stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou has contributed to this thread, it's very revealing:
(I had a bored moment & c & pd some of their comments):

"It's good to know you just hate men and 12 year old boys are copping for it. Sad, really.
It must be fun living in MN world where trans people are not real people.
same old argument of women and girls trumping everyone else,
no need for your hysteria about forcing
What I object to is the instant up in arms when it comes to women
Pathetic.
Is there a word for people who hate men? I mean I know there's misogyny, but are you just so superior as a woman you've deleted that as well?
Oh wait. You didn't give her advice. you just jumped straight on to make 12 year old boys collateral i your war against big horrible men.
If OP's child was a son, would you be here? no
I asked you to prove where a boy being in a girls changing room in PE statistically is a danger.
You've jumped in on a discussion with your sexist ways and thought you were clever. You're not.
How many of the above posts are OK with lesbian pupils in the changing rooms with the girls?
What is the problem with the boy being in the changing room? In case a girl sees a penis? give me strength.
Okay. So they're fine with someone who might fancy them and look at them but not someone who might have zero interest in them but has gasp a penis."

[TorringtonDean]

For goodness sake, the girls are not being unkind by refusing to change with a male-bodied person who has a penis! They have a right to privacy. End of. How dare females’ privacy be destroyed like this? No penises in girls’ changing rooms!

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@MrsOvertonsWindow

If you actually look at comments that stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou has contributed to this thread, it's very revealing:
(I had a bored moment & c & pd some of their comments):

"It's good to know you just hate men and 12 year old boys are copping for it. Sad, really.
It must be fun living in MN world where trans people are not real people.
same old argument of women and girls trumping everyone else,
no need for your hysteria about forcing
What I object to is the instant up in arms when it comes to women
Pathetic.
Is there a word for people who hate men? I mean I know there's misogyny, but are you just so superior as a woman you've deleted that as well?
Oh wait. You didn't give her advice. you just jumped straight on to make 12 year old boys collateral i your war against big horrible men.
If OP's child was a son, would you be here? no
I asked you to prove where a boy being in a girls changing room in PE statistically is a danger.
You've jumped in on a discussion with your sexist ways and thought you were clever. You're not.
How many of the above posts are OK with lesbian pupils in the changing rooms with the girls?
What is the problem with the boy being in the changing room? In case a girl sees a penis? give me strength.
Okay. So they're fine with someone who might fancy them and look at them but not someone who might have zero interest in them but has gasp a penis."

Copying qnd pasting comments from numerous pages of my quotes to numerous posters (cherry picking quotes) in order to incite a pile on is pretty foul behaviour. .

All that is revealing here is that you are a bully.

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@Whatwouldscullydo

But you don't understand why we have them?

So which is it?

And you said this child is in.all.other respect s a girl but you haven't told us what a girl is.

Of course I understand why you have them. I'm not a complete moron.

There is a difference between objecting to posts and the issue at hand.

I wouldn't worry though after the behaviour above I will be drowned out by a pile on.

[Nellodee]

How interesting that compiling a list of quite aggressive posts is seen to be bullying.

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@Nellodee

How interesting that compiling a list of quite aggressive posts is seen to be bullying.

Cherry picking random quotes from a lengthy discussion (it wasn't a monologue, it was a conversation and there were equally confrontational responses tonme) so hat new posters to the thread will read it and jump on me - notnsure what else you would call it.

[MrsOvertonsWindow]

@stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou

Copying qnd pasting comments from numerous pages of my quotes to numerous posters (cherry picking quotes) in order to incite a pile on is pretty foul behaviour. .

All that is revealing here is that you are a bully.

I will leave it to posters to judge for themselves whether your responses to women in your numerous posts on this thread encourage respectful debate or not. I hope nobody will "pile on" you. MNHQ allow open and rigorous discussions but will always clamp down on bullying.

The rights of our daughters to single sex spaces are very important and hopefully this thread can get back on track when the OP reports back on the responses she gets from the school.

[Bewaldeth]

I find a lot of posts from this one poster very aggressive.

[TiptowThroughTheToadstools]

@OnlyFoolsnMothers

Awful and i would be telling every parent and telling my child to not to PE until the matter is resolved correctly- I would not let this go

This! There is no way I would allow my DD to feel cornered in to undressing in front of boys because someone else's DS has decided to jump on the band wagon. Where are the rights of the girls being respected here? They are not. Shoved aside to cater for a mass mental health crisis. I automatically boycott anywhere with this policy and the school would be included if they started this rubbish!

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@Bewaldeth

I find a lot of posts from this one poster very aggressive.

Feel free to actually discuss this with me then instead of joining what has become a witch hunt.

I appreciate my views don't align with others, and I appreciate I can come across as confrontational. I don't mean to be. It's a cause close to my heart.

I am actually a human behind a screen. We all ate.

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

*are.

Incidentally, I'm the least aggressive person you will ever meet in your life.

Don't think for one second I don't regularly question why this topic, not just this one but the topic in general, brings out that reaction.

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@MrsOvertonsWindow

I will leave it to posters to judge for themselves whether your responses to women in your numerous posts on this thread encourage respectful debate or not. I hope nobody will "pile on" you. MNHQ allow open and rigorous discussions but will always clamp down on bullying.

The rights of our daughters to single sex spaces are very important and hopefully this thread can get back on track when the OP reports back on the responses she gets from the school.

Yeah il give you that. Having read them back, it doesn't look the most respectful.

However at the time, it wasn't designed like that. See my above post.

I hope so too. Ultimately, i do want what's best for all involved.

[Bewaldeth]

Aggressive and self pitying. I won't be engaging further, thank you, there seems little point.

There is no witch hunt, just people calling out poor behaviour.

Having said that, I'm pleased you're reflecting. We love a good robust debate on here and I for one would be happy to engage in that if I felt it was being done in good faith.

[stopwaitingforpermissiontobeyou]

@Bewaldeth

Aggressive and self pitying. I won't be engaging further, thank you, there seems little point.

There is no witch hunt, just people calling out poor behaviour.

Having said that, I'm pleased you're reflecting. We love a good robust debate on here and I for one would be happy to engage in that if I felt it was being done in good faith.

Course it's good faith. I find that a strange term.

If I wanted to troll a page (which in itself is bizarre behaviour )I wouldn't choose one about a traumatised (or two, or several more affected) children.

But the choice to not engage is of course yours.

I'm not self pitying, btw. I'm thinking about my own flaws, or my own motivations.

[YetAnotherSpartacus]

For goodness sake, the girls are not being unkind by refusing to change with a male-bodied person who has a penis! They have a right to privacy. End of. How dare females’ privacy be destroyed like this? No penises in girls’ changing rooms!

Exactly!

[Sirzy]

I don’t understand why any parent would be comfy with the idea of boys (by birth) having free reign to change with girls. I have a son but if this was allowed at his school I would happily back any campaign to stop it. 

incidentally due to his disability he isn’t able to change in the group changing rooms so has somewhere else to change. I am sure schools could sort something like this if due to gender dysphoria a student felt uncomfortable. That way they don’t risk making half of their class uncomfortable for the sake of one.

[RufustheFloralmissingreindeer]

wait a minute…..i know this thread is dead but ive just seen this

Youre very naive if you think your son isnt on social media

i didnt say he wasn’t on social media

stopwaitingforpermission said What would you guys do if this was your son who was being put on snapchat, facebook. in the paper, because of a decision the school took?

and as requested i answered the question by saying I would not like my son to be on snapchat or whatever else it was you said, I would endeavour to stop anyone from doing it