All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

[WandaWomblesaurus73]

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

JKR made me leave the Xmas tree up past the 12th night. To be fair it is the nicest tree we've ever had and every day it's brought more joy than any tree before. But who knows the implications of it still being there now?

I've achieved the sum total of fuck all today. Nice one JKR.

@MargaritaPie

news.sky.com/story/jk-rowling-essex-school-drops-harry-potter-authors-house-name-over-viewpoints-surrounding-trans-people-12509452

"JK Rowling's name has been dropped by a secondary school as a title for one of its houses over her "comments and viewpoints surrounding trans people"."

And of course it's entirely her fault, not the school's, that they've replaced her by Dame Kelly Holmes who says (among other things):

'JK Rowling is a brilliant, world-renowned author and should be credited for all the good she has done in the literature world to help young people in particular have vision, creativity, dreams and much more.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10373185/Ridicule-school-axed-JK-Rowling-Kelly-Holmes.html

JK Rowling gave me Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

I know it was her because it sounds like a Harry Potter spell.

She's cursed all cats and dogs to get extreme bouts of zoomies in the early hours of the morning to disrupt everyone's sleep.

To make it worse, she's the one hitting the snooze button on our alarm clocks, turning our ''just 10 more minutes'' into an hour.

Absolute menace.

Her negative influence is so far-reaching . . . I ordered a salad box from Planet Organic today and they'd run out of falafel, so I had to have spiced cauliflower instead. What a cow

A derelict building was set on fire early this morning,meaning that I had to go on a 3 mile detour past a primary school at drop off time,to get to my first job,less than a mile away. I'm looking at you JKR.

JKR has been in cahoots with some French blue cheese people to make little blue cubes of loveliness go in my basket without my bidding.

My fat swelled in appreciation and now I look like a blimp.

Cheers.

JKR assassinated JFK.

JKR has both the Australian Border Force and Tennis Association under the Imperius curse and is playing them off against each other.

And messes with the cricket results when she gets bored.

JKR is the reason I can't be bothered to go food shopping. Thanks Jo 👍

@PoppyBrighton

Last week I'd just finished reading The Christmas Pig and then I had a job interview. I didn't get it. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Definitely not a coincidence. I'm also waiting to hear back from a job. If I don't get it then it's 100% on JKR.

JKR used the last of the milk so I can’t have a coffee, and left the empty milk bottle on the counter.
Didn’t even rinse it out.

The Twitter loons are going after her for being anti-Irish and fat-phobic now. Finally, my people get to cancel her.

(I'm actually genuinely worried that the publishing industry is being dominated by people who hate books and who are incapable of reading for pleasure.)

JKR replaced sugar with artificial sweetener in everything that used to taste good. So now Shloer tastes like the embodiment of pure evil (possibly liquidised JKR)

@puckingfixies

She made me eat all the Christmas chocolate and then put a spell on my wardrobe, my clothes are shrinking.

OMG, she did the exact same thing to me!

My son was obsessed with HP as a young child, he is now an alcoholic

@EsmaCannonball

The Twitter loons are going after her for being anti-Irish and fat-phobic now. Finally, my people get to cancel her.

(I'm actually genuinely worried that the publishing industry is being dominated by people who hate books and who are incapable of reading for pleasure.)

This. Children's publishing houses are now full of joyless Mr Murdstone types, all with cats' bum mouths, being miserable about everything. All 'cos of Jo. She made them do it. I saw her.

She's jellybeanphobic too you know: suggesting all innocent jellybeans might taste of earwax. And no one at Hogwarts does healthy eating. Sniff. As if childhood's about enjoying stuff.

@NitroNine

Or perhaps *@VeganVampire*, JK Rowling walks amongst us (having been radicalised by MN) & is posting on this very thread.

Indeed, because it’s well-known that there are a mere handful of GC people who run umpteen sock accounts on social media but somehow at the same time the UK is TERF Island probably JKR has written this entire thread

I really hope she sees this thread and it makes her laugh.

Even though she is clearly responsible for my fridge breaking over Christmas.

JK Rowling made my kids sit in their rooms reading quietly. I was left with no option but to lay on the sofa watching telly, drinking wine and eating sausage rolls.
She has a lot to answer for. Especially this pot belly.

She keeps going into Tesco’s and taking those chilli rice cracker snack things I like. OH YES YOU DO JKR, don’t try and deny it. And stop mocking me by leaving the boxes on the shelf so I know that if I had got there five minutes earlier I could have wrestled you to the ground and grabbed a couple of packets.

JKR made me eat a chocolate bar from my kid's selection box today. Obviously I would never steal chocolate from a three year old, so the only explanation is the imperius curse.

I also hope she finds this thread and has a little chuckle over it. I am sure She Walks Among Us.

I am sure She Walks Among Us.

Don't you mean tramples all over us?

JKR has switched the cartridge in my red marking biro for a blue one (defo her, not an annoying teenager) AND keeps hiding it in the box of red biros by my desk (defo her, not me absentmindedly putting it there).

The more I read about how awful she is, the more I feel shame for the endless blissful hours reading her work to /with my kids so that they both live in a blissful world of words that will support them through a tough old world -and in fact is doing so as we face a shit situation in the family and distract ourselves with silliness and magic and reading. What a cow bag she must be.