All the bad things JKR has done. A history.

[WandaWomblesaurus73]

I think this is a good time to go over all the bad things JKR has done (as started on the did he or didn't he Jon Stewart thread)

Earlier, I went into the bathroom and I noticed JK Rowling had moved the cat litter tray so I stood in a little bit of cat poop.

If Maya Forstater and J K Rowling ever make physical contact, the universe will instantly implode. Fact.

She stopped my ganache from setting properly
She personally ensured that the Boxer puppy we bought 11 years ago still acts like a puppy
Also made my spaniel pee on the floor in the vets because he was scared ….

JK is delaying the vets from ringing about the blood test results for Number One Dog.

She's also given me a sore throat and a cough.

Nice One JK.

She broke the showers at the swimming pool this morning so that there was only freezing cold water. WHY????

She is also responsible for hours of peace and quiet while neighbours kids who I was watching built Hogwarts Lego….. it is due to her evil creativity I uttered a bad word in front of quiet children when JK ensured a Lego brick was on the floor and I trod on it…..

Anyone else wonder if all the haters are just channeling their inner Dolores Umbridge?

@Moneypennysfreedomfund

She stopped my ganache from setting properly She personally ensured that the Boxer puppy we bought 11 years ago still acts like a puppy Also made my spaniel pee on the floor in the vets because he was scared ….

She made my Labrador poo at the vet’s. She must have been having a particularly evil day…

JKR has never offered to buy me a mansion. She knows she can afford it. Greedy and selfish.

@ErrolTheDragon

I am sure She Walks Among Us.

Don't you mean tramples all over us?

Good point!

Or Stalks Among Us, foul Spectre of Death and Misery (and missing pens).

@viques

She keeps going into Tesco’s and taking those chilli rice cracker snack things I like. OH YES YOU DO JKR, don’t try and deny it. And stop mocking me by leaving the boxes on the shelf so I know that if I had got there five minutes earlier I could have wrestled you to the ground and grabbed a couple of packets.

I know exactly the ones you mean and have the same issue. She must travel up and down the country with that exact aim. HOW do you do it JKR?

@PeeAche

JK Rowling gave me Hyperemesis Gravidarum.

I know it was her because it sounds like a Harry Potter spell.

She worked that spell on me too.

JKR is forcing me to have [Ben & Jerry’s salted caramel brownie non-dairy] ice-cream for dinner by giving me phantom wisdom tooth pain. Fiendish.

I’ve just eaten a rather large portion of macaroni cheese because she made me do it.

Shame on you JKR. Shame on you.

And you spoiled my carbycarbycarbcarb sesh by knobbing off with the garlic bread.

I’m watching you lady….

OUCH! Stop it, JK.

OUCH!

It was JKR who made dh ignore me when I asked him to buy Sudafed nasal spray at the chemist, meaning he bought the liquid instead. I know the nasal spray works - I was so looking forward to being able to breath, and I don’t think the liquid is going to do the trick.

It was very, very, cold today so I thought I'd put my warm coat on. Just my luck that JKR strategically zipped up my pockets while I wasn't looking and when I went to put my hands in them, ended up scraping the very dry skin on the backs of my hands against the zips on my coat for ten minutes before realising they weren't open.

Thanks JKR.
Thanks.

JKR enchanted my mirrors so a fat, middle-aged woman looks back at me.

Because HP merchandise is everywhere, I can't find Firefly merch.

But I can't blame her entirely. I'm sure George Soros and his Jewish space lasers are involded somehow.

She probably threw the bombs over the wall from Israel to Palestine, just to set up the antisemitism claims against Emma Watson.

@SleepOhHowIMissYou

JKR enchanted my mirrors so a fat, middle-aged woman looks back at me.

She did this to me aswell. The absolute nerve of the woman

@Benjaminsniddlegrass

Forget Agatha, it was JKR all along.....

Benjaminsniddlegrass, I just fell in love you a bit. 😁

Who puts the Lego pieces on the floor r that you ALWAYS stand on? JKR...

JKR made all you witchy dinosaurs much too funny, so that I am now trying not to snort and wake my unwell BH.
AND she's done the mirror bewitching thing on me as well - must be a favourite of hers. Wicked.

Gosh thanks AsTrees. That pesky woman must've been at my mirrors too. Probably at the same time she messed with the fan in my bathroom so it makes a noise like that flipping egg that screams when Harry tries to open it. She's a piece of work alright.

You want to talk mirrors?

I don’t even get to look at me.

Pure MadamMim. A feral one at that.

Not even the right merch 🧐

SleepOhHowIMissYou You to OMG see I KNEW there was some witchcraft at work because in my head I look so very different! The truth is out there! I shall be cancelling and ceremoniously smashing them all at the earliest convenient moment. Not now though I'm watching Pottery Throwdown.