Man in women's loos - did o overreact?

[MakeTeaNotWar]

Went to a live music venue last night. In a very woke seaside town on the south coast for context. At the end of the night, I popped to the loo before leaving for home. As so often happens, the queue for ladies was lengthy, no real queue for the gents.

I joined the queue and noticed the person in front of me wasn't a man just keeping his partner company while she waited as I first thought, but a man waiting to use the toilet. He was not a trans woman, he was a man and a drunk one at that.

I told him he was in the wrong queue and pointed to the gents. He said he wanted to use these toilets. I asked why, he said they are gender neutral so he can. (I don't know if they are - they probably are as they had a multitude of arrows on the door.)

I said I am a woman needing to use the woman's facilities and I would do so, ahead of him.

The queue of women turned on me and said I couldn't block him, repeating these are gender neutral toilets. I said I cannot use a urinal and indeed went in front of him to use the loo first. When I had finished, I called the woman behind him to come forward and use the loo, which she did.

The other women very cross with me for blocking him and asserted he was perfectly entitled to use these toilets.

Did I do the wrong thing? I've thought about contacting the venue to understand what their loo provision is and asking was it right to have a man in the ladies (or are they gender neutral? Can anyone use the "gents")?

Thanks for reading long post

Yeah, I suppose if he were a transman, he could have said so too, and he didn’t. How awful that all the other women turned on you though. What a bunch of sheep they were. No wonder you were questioning yourself.

Ok so this was the sign on the door which I hadn't seen before and the other women were pointing out to me

I wouldn't have a clue what that meant. Lots of people won't. What does it mean? Anyone welcome?

Well the sign does mean all genders/mixed sex. But to be fair that sign would have to be on all the toilet facilities to not be sex discrimination. You can’t put it on one set of toilet facilities and then have the man logo on the other for example.

@PlanDeRaccordement

Well the sign does mean all genders/mixed sex. But to be fair that sign would have to be on all the toilet facilities to not be sex discrimination. You can’t put it on one set of toilet facilities and then have the man logo on the other for example.

No you can't. I would go back and check if I wasn't sure and go from there.

@knittingaddict

I wouldn't have a clue what that meant. Lots of people won't. What does it mean? Anyone welcome?

For people with two cocks (one pierced) and a vagina.

I don’t understand too why an actual male would voluntarily stand in a queue for toilets when they could skip a queue?
Why do any male bodied people want to use the ladies, and actively decry the option of third spaces? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Think about it.

And in my opinion, even if the all genders/mixed sex signs were on all the facilities, what OP did was civil disobedience which is her right as a form of protest. It’s not even breaking laws unlike the idiots that have been running onto motorways and gluing themselves.

"The government wants to ensure dignity and respect for all. The Equality Act provides that sex, age, disability and gender reassignment are protected characteristics. This does not mean that gender-specific toilets should be replaced with gender-neutral toilets. But there should be balanced consideration of how the needs of all those with protected characteristics should be considered, based on the mix of the population and customer demand."

The needs of women to have a sex segregated space to toilet in are not being met in this case. This need is well established.

Where there cubicles in the urinal. Was it

1. Men's urinals
2. Gender neutral cubicles?

If it was that I wouldnt complain to him or use the toilets ahead of him, he might have needed to sit down?

If it was that I wouldnt complain to him or use the toilets ahead of him, he might have needed to sit down?
Why would you assume there aren't any cubicles in the gents? Where do men usually shit?

Where do men usually shit?

Don't ask.

You pushed in in front of someone who was perfectly entitled to use the gender-neutral facilities, and also encouraged someone else to do so too. And you're asking us how come all the others in the line were pissed at you?

@MakeTeaNotWar

Ok so this was the sign on the door which I hadn't seen before and the other women were pointing out to me

That’s the transgender symbol?

Gender neutral is different.

@PigeonLittle

Where there cubicles in the urinal. Was it

1. Men's urinals
2. Gender neutral cubicles?

If it was that I wouldnt complain to him or use the toilets ahead of him, he might have needed to sit down?

Men's loos usually do have cubicles. They've been shitting for millennia, they know how to do it.

How far do you need to reach to excuse shit behaviour?

Pun not actually intended 😆

@MargaritaPie

You pushed in in front of someone who was perfectly entitled to use the gender-neutral facilities, and also encouraged someone else to do so too. And you're asking us how come all the others in the line were pissed at you?

Back again to slag off women who don't want men in their loos... Boring.

@MargaritaPie

You pushed in in front of someone who was perfectly entitled to use the gender-neutral facilities, and also encouraged someone else to do so too. And you're asking us how come all the others in the line were pissed at you?

Ah, come on Marg you can't really expect to be taken seriously with that?

If the men’s toilet has urinals that aren’t in cubicles then in no way can it be “gender neutral / inclusive”.

So how can anyone think it’s OK for men’s toilets to remain single sex but the women’s have to become “gender neutral / inclusive” but in reality mixed sex?

It’s discriminatory.

I don't think many actually think about the reality. They just scream "be nice!" and continue to shove their head in the sand.

I must admit I have gone into the men's when desperate and the queue for the women's is ridiculous. It is a last resort though and the men's are always rancid

@MargaritaPie

You pushed in in front of someone who was perfectly entitled to use the gender-neutral facilities, and also encouraged someone else to do so too. And you're asking us how come all the others in the line were pissed at you?

Ha! Timezones in operation. I see morning has broken in Gilead.

“Line”
“Pissed”

I think the venue was wrong, the guy was following the rules. Probably confronting him that way meant he was less likely to consider your view than if you'd not made it seem like he was breaking the rules.

How was 'the guy' following the rules?

There was no queue for the other loos, the traditional male loos.

Why do you think he decided to inconvenience himself?

(So many unintended puns available on this thread 😏)

@MargaritaPie

You pushed in in front of someone who was perfectly entitled to use the gender-neutral facilities, and also encouraged someone else to do so too. And you're asking us how come all the others in the line were pissed at you?

Nice mansplaining attempt