The Badley Fuckitt Pop-Up Winter Gin Bar

[BadgertheBodger]

Come one, come all!

Badley Fuckitt’s pop-up Winter gin bar is open for business. We’ve got faux-sheepskins, a log fire being stoked by young Nigel and enough gin to drown an army of sealions. (Note to PETA, not real ones, natch)

Collapses on chaise longue and weakly gestures for the bottle

So festive! I like what you've done with the tinsel. Hoping to avoid Elfs on Shelfs, though, can we no-platform them?

Boatyard I’ll take some candy floss pubes if you can be bothered

Scrim no problem

You know the shop Emilia Clark works in in Last Christmas? I say we ship them all there.

(Spoilers - have not seen the film, everyone is saying it's shit. Can't quite believe that the plot everyone inferred as a joke from the song seems to actually be the plot. Was Emma drunk when she thought that up?)

I haven't heard of it, does the protag literally give the love interest her heart like in the song? Is it zombie-horror-Xmas-romcom genre?

Or, is that the wrong song? - I'm not always very up to date.

I think he gives her his, not sure because I haven't seen it. A lot of Xmas movies seem to aim for light hearted fun and land on existential horror by accident.

I've been waiting for about three weeks for a pint of wine!! What's a girl to do to get a drink around here!! I'm in danger of sobering up!!!

Wassat? Hauls self up from behind bar and removes mince pie crumbs from hair. What you havin' love? Apart from conniptions at the sate of the UK political system.

Oh cheer matey, mine's a pint of wine!

Hey this bar's going to the dogs it is! Where the fuck IS everyone!! You need a new hook!

*cheers

hic

Cheers Dangly.

I feel like a vintage port myself - something about the dark night, the roaring fire and the wood panelling.. just feels like the appropriate drink.

(Tosses another elf on the shelf to the dog lying on the hearth rug.)

I made spiced limoncello with an inch of fresh ginger root. And I have an idea for fake pubes - remember the sweet tobacco they used to have in sweet shops in the old days?

Well this is lovely isn't it?

Wasn't it called Spanish Gold?
Fuck knows why.

Pretend edible loose tobacco for kids.

I’m bringing a fug rug FYI. And I’ll also have a pint of wine. Hic.

Rather partial to a mead at the mo.

I think sherry is long overdue for a revival, I'm sure I have a couple of bottles under the stairs.
A bit sweet maybe but I'll have one instead of pudding if you don't mind.

I’m having an angry whisky after learning what the Magic Grandpa has been saying to Penis News

I’d like to host an election night special tomorrow night but in all honesty I can’t cope

Sorry. Help yourselves everyone, I’ll get Nige to give the fire a good poke

Gasp

Not that fire you filthy perves

Might cheer me up though

Badger gin for you🍷😍

Cheers Dog I’m necking the dregs of DH’s whisky. In our house that’s the romantic equivalent of the last Rolo

I think we need some guinea-pigs with little fat bottoms crossing and recrossing a bridge. To music.

I reckon we'll all be wanting pints of wine or whatever come Friday. I want all the parties to lose, for different reasons (politics is a multidimensional space thingy). But I don't want a chaotic hung parliament either.

Oldstyle Hurrah for guinea pigs!

Errol I think that’s the answer, free pints of anything you like until Sunday when we’ve hopefully got a better handle on the crushing disappointment

OMG the piggies. The next YouTube offering is this.