The Badley Fuckitt Pop-Up Winter Gin Bar

[BadgertheBodger]

Come one, come all!

Badley Fuckitt’s pop-up Winter gin bar is open for business. We’ve got faux-sheepskins, a log fire being stoked by young Nigel and enough gin to drown an army of sealions. (Note to PETA, not real ones, natch)

Collapses on chaise longue and weakly gestures for the bottle

Okay, today I have a couple of cabbages and some leeks to bring to the table. Any requests?

Late to the party, but my immediate go-to was takeaway. There’s nothing in that ^?offering but a weekend of loud farting.

I like farting! If I incorporated garlic, it would be Excellent Farting™. I could sell the concept to Thighland, I'm sure.

You'd want to add some beans first, surely.

Interrupts thread -
Fucksake I'm a Scot and I need a fuckin dram.
fucks back off

Okay. Black-eyed beans. Cabbage. Leeks. Garlic.

Excellent.

If it was in season you could add asparagus just to make sure your piss was stinky too.

Maybe a little snacky bowl of Sugar Puffs on the side, if you want sweet smelly wee.

Wait, what? Sugar Puffs give you smelly wee?

I might even abandon the WBH for a day or two to test this!

I can’t speak for anyone else, but they do for me.

I might even abandon the WBH for a day or two to test this!

Silver linings.

youllhavehadyourtea, hope you found your dram, you deserve it for the fabulous username 😃 love that phrase. My Dad says it every time I head back to the homeland to see them.

kittens, fox poo shampoo actually smells ok, it’s the only thing that comes close to driving out the pervasive reek of fox shit. I’d heard about the ketchup trick too, but never tried it. I don’t want to dip my dogs in ketchup, they’re not chips 🤣

You didn't happen to come from a thread saying it was wrong to suggest Scots are sweary, youllhave? I had to really bite my tongue to not be childish.

I've never quite got over hearing an English person hold up the phrase "you'll have had your tea" as a shining example if the innate generosity of the Scottish character...

Shurely shome mishtake.

(Or as my late mother - Edinburgh woman through and through - would have said, "aye, that'll be right.")

Aw, that's quite sweet, Barbara.

Perhaps they'd be stirred by the moving pathos of that classic ballad 'Donald where's your trousers':

You didn't happen to come from a thread saying it was wrong to suggest Scots are sweary, youllhave?
Mebbes aye, mebbes naw.

I had to really bite my tongue to not be childish.
:-)

Glad it wasn't just me, then. I had fannybaws itching to burst out.

Sun's over the yardarm. I think it's time for a Horse's Neck.

Half a tumbler of brandy, half a tumbler of Crabbie's Ginger Wine. Lovely stuff. Cheers everyone!

If we preface every comment with "auch aye the noo hen" do you think that would help?

Or "it's a braw, bricht, moonlicht, nicht the nicht."

Please note the Oxford comma above. We Scots are sticklers for linguistic precision.

"it's a braw, bricht, moonlicht, nicht the nicht yer wee shite" I think you'll find is more correct.

Update: am in possession of a box of Sugar Puffs. Be afraid.

Am weirdly invested in this Lang please keep us updated on how your wee smells

I’ve just come in to tell you all I’ve sent Nigel out for the tree and it’s going up today

Now, anyone for an Old Fashioned?

I have been thinking about the pube garnish on the cocktail upthread. Can’t we just fake the pubes by making candyfloss with soft brown sugar? The cocktail sounded great, the pubes not so much.