The Badley Fuckitt Pop-Up Winter Gin Bar

[BadgertheBodger]

Come one, come all!

Badley Fuckitt’s pop-up Winter gin bar is open for business. We’ve got faux-sheepskins, a log fire being stoked by young Nigel and enough gin to drown an army of sealions. (Note to PETA, not real ones, natch)

Collapses on chaise longue and weakly gestures for the bottle

Yes, let's sack parliament.

In the P45 sense, not the firey burning sense, obvs.

Port and chewing tobacco sounds pretty good to me, ta.

Chin, chin.

It's days like these I curse the fact I don't drink. In these batshit times, sobriety is a heavy burden. The bar snacks menu look good. Better avoid the soup though - I'd be tempted to drown myself in it.

Scrimshaw I’m quite tempted by a spot of fiery burning if I’m honest!

I would find that hard, motorcycle. Laudunum?

And Badger, just as well none of us are allowed matches, really.

Just spoiled a ballot paper. I'm feeling rather soiled and in need of a "fuck it" drink, but, spending my last remaining fuck on myself I will stick to a virgin tonic please.

Voila! I call it “Lady Anti-Bellwhack”

Admittedly, the name may need some work. Pubs garnish anyone?

Pubs pfffft we’re in a pub. Pube. Pube garnish

A medicinal hot toddy and a dish of resignation peanuts, please, barkeep.

I’m dying of a cold so I’ll have a hot toddy with you Scrim

I’m hiding in here. Shit is going down in the family WhatsApp over who voted what

Oh, dear. I make toddies with cardamom, cloves and lots of ginger. Maybe the whisky will help interfamilial politics.

Hot spiced cider is nice if you have a cold, with a bit of lemon peel and a splosh of whiskey.

DHNMN thinks I do the best hot toddies and he is actually a real life Scot

He will never, never convince me that haggis is an acceptable foodstuff though

Yum to spiced cider. And haggis in all permutations.

15 shots of tequila, please. Yes, I’m drinking alone.

Wake me up in a decade.

Laudunum?
Don't mind if I do. That should take the edge off.

Fuck. I have drunk wine and am now pillaging my husbands cider. Apostrophy can go to fuck.

Do you think if I drink enough I can wake up 2 decades ago?

Is there absinthe?

Sobs into the dregs of a cold toddy.

It’s Friday Badley Fuckitters!!

There’s a vat of mulled wine, we’re stoking the fire with apple logs and Nigel will be along shortly to take your drinks orders.

Any jukebox requests?

Stay another day by East 17 please.

Frozen "let it go". And a stiff brandy and coke. Sobriety is overrated.