ROGD Parent Support

[iamright17]

This is a new thread for parents who are experiencing the phenomenon of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria in their tweens/ teens/ young adults.

Sadly we are being watched and our words taken out of context so please be careful what you say.

I want the UK and beyond to listen to parents. Even if it is deemed as anecdotal for now, it is important for someone to acknowledge our perspective. The trans narrative is trying to undermine our credibility.

I’ve been reluctant to post but 2 of my now adult children identify as trans with no juvenile evidence but a high likelihood of ASD. I’m distraught.

Goodness - that must hard for you. Only empathy here for you.

I'm so sorry, cuntysnark

Here for venting or unMumsnetty hugs.

Cuntysnark, I totally understand your distraught. Nothing can compare to this devastation. I have experienced death and grieved as a result. This is a living death for me. Watching our beautiful kids with perfectly healthy bodies believe their body is faulty. This thought process is evidence of mental distress, and should be treated as such. The mind is at fault, not the body. Who is going to stop this dangerous medical pathway? We can only hope that now this is being exposed more and more, our kids will also be exposed to alternative views and might stop and think.
This must be so hard for you having two caught up in this. I wish we could let it all pass as an identity crisis that our kids would all come through on the end. However, Doctors are letting them take the drugs and offer surgery far too readily and it is this that causes the distraught we feel as we know this is the pathway recommended. We have every right to be distraught. The medical world has allowed this to happen.

Plausible deniability is going to get harder to claim

I really hope so.

Re mental health care, I'm not in the UK and our system is somewhat different.

What I've noticed is that the dysphoric kids who get hived off to the gender clinics are receiving really different treatment to the kids who are getting psychiatric and psychological care outside the clinics.

The only useful psychological care must be paid for privately, but we can access a rebate for up to 16 sessions. And seeing the psychiatrist frequently also has an upfront cost but a rebate of up to 80%.

We are far from wealthy, and I am grateful that this system of rebates has enabled us to access care for both my ROGD kids outside the gender clinics. Treatment tends to be a combination of talk therapy (exploration of feelings) + meds for co-morbid conditions + psychological skills training.

I do NOT understand why this isn't seen as gold standard. At no time does this treatment stop the child growing up and deciding to transition. It doesn't 'convert' anyone. And surely being clear on one's emotions, having co-morbid issues treated and a full took kit of psychological skills can only help the person who ends up transitioning as an adult.

And for the kids whose distress does not persist, or who find other ways of dealing with distress, they come out of this process with their health, bodies and options for adult life intact.

Wasn't so long ago that similar discussions would have been going on between parents who hated the fact their children were gay

Being same sex attracted, and believing that you are the wrong sex, are two very disparate concepts.

You're also in the wrong place, ProTransUK, as this is a support thread for parents of children with sudden onset gender dysphoria. If that's not you, then, politely, go away.

Signed, proud mum of a lesbian dd who knows gender ideologies being pushed by trans-orgs is as homophobic as fuck.

Being gay does not take a healthy body and turn the person into a medical experiment though. Being gay is not a denial of reality. Being gay is not and never will be comparable. As for faux middle class language, you have just outed yourself as that. Do you really think it is only middle class people who can express themselves? Am I, a working class person using the faux language you describe?
I don’t need any language skills to know what reality is. I give birth because I am female. I give birth to children whose sex is not ambiguous nor open to faux biological belief.

ProTransUk.
Your attempt to infiltrate just highlights how scared you really are. Do you think we are rattling too many cages? Are we parents having too much say? When the parents speak out the TRA brigade try to use the gay argument. I have heard it all before. Tell me something new. Surprise me with your logic. Please

lol, I missed the 'faux middle class' comment

Trans activists are so wildly and inappropriately homophobic themselves, that I think people using the argument above are really floundering. People in glass houses, and all that.

Well to be fair I read faux as fucks cause I am stupid. I know nothing about other languages so I read it phonetically. Same way when I see the word female I read it phonetically too. Just can’t see it as male no matter how hard I try. Nope still can’t see the similarity. Nice try Protrans to try and befuddle me with your words but remember it’s not about the words it’s all about the senses. Every sense I have knows the difference. Animals don’t need language to tell the difference in biology. It’s late now ProTransUk and this female who is distraught and who knows other parents here are distraught because you are trying to gaslight our kids know it won’t work on us. Take your faux chat elsewhere thank you

Apologies to all for replying to the poster I should have ignored.

No please don’t apologise. All welcome who are supportive. This could be happening to someone you might know and all support is needed

What I've noticed is that the dysphoric kids who get hived off to the gender clinics are receiving really different treatment to the kids who are getting psychiatric and psychological care outside the clinics.

This is massive concern for me too in Aus. The gender clinics receive referrals directly from GPs. These children aren’t undergoing general paediatric assessment of their development and profile. I worry that as soon as they set foot in a gender clinic they’re already on a path they can’t step off.

ProTransUk
Thanks for bumping the thread and getting more people aware of us parents. You are doing a great job, great job as Dec from I’m a celebrity likes to say.

This is massive concern for me too in Aus. The gender clinics receive referrals directly from GPs. These children aren’t undergoing general paediatric assessment of their development and profile. I worry that as soon as they set foot in a gender clinic they’re already on a path they can’t step off.

I don't know how the gender clinics are funded, and what parents pay to access them. I do know that seeing a psychiatrist privately, before the family safety net kicks in, is going to price some families out. I think our first appt was something like $600 - but it was a proper intake interview with physical health, developmental history notes etc taken. Not everyone can get their hands on that cash.

And not everyone knows that you can access therapeutic support for gender dsyphoric children and teens outside of the clinics.

It’s much less to see a general paediatrician privately and a child would be assessed properly, but I agree it’s not free. The paediatric gender clinic is publicly funded at the local children’s hospital.

So do you think it's a GP referral problem ? They see GD and think 'clinic' and not 'paediatrician' ?

I wonder where GP's in AU are getting their professional development on this topic.

Yes I do. I think GPs see “gender + children = way too complicated, needs specialist clinic”. And the clinics are automatically affirming. I don’t know where they get their CPD on this, I suspect directly from the clinic who say “refer to us”.

That's a really unfortunate loop.

It's really great to hear that children/teens are able to receive therapeutic options where you live Janes. It's essential that young people are given the chance to talk and explore and open up other possibilities about why they are having such distressing feelings.

Helping a child to understand themselves better, and come to terms with intense emotions about the relationship between their minds and bodies, is the very least we owe our children.

We are starting to see a generation of young women, often same sex attracted, who are being rendered infertile.

My own daughter doesn't seem to care about this - and from the start of her self-diagnosis was casually saying that she could adopt instead. The idea of adoption seems to enmeshed in queer theory culture.

This, and the surgical removal of their breasts, is what being trans means for so many young women.

It's born of a desperate need to 'prove' their new identify; to fit in and be accepted by their gender queer 'community'; to show that they are at the cutting edge of competitive queer coolness going the extra mile to be 'self determiners', or whatever similar phrase they have proudly tattooed on.

Any chance to talk and explore feelings before they're in too deep, and able to take independent action, has just got to be the way forward.

The next OurDuty Parental Support Meeting is in London on 18th January.

It is good to meet other parents in person. That feeling that you are not alone helps. There is also the opportunity to do something to reverse this trend, which can also be therapeutic.