How common is it for men to push women out of their way in public or hurt us if we don't move quickly enough?

[AskBasil]

The two news stories this week, about the jogger who threw a woman under a bus in Putney Bridge and the cancellation of the woman's only swimming session, has made me think about how often I've been quite literally pushed around, by men in public.

When I go swimming, I am frequently overtaken by men who should get into the faster lane with the other men if they want to go at the pace they are going at; quite often they'll kick me or shove me aside as they overtake and I have to be really careful that they don't surprise me and make me swallow water and start flailing. Luckily I know men sometimes behave like this, so I'm prepared and it doesn't affect me, but I've seen other women get out of the pool because they don't know how they can carry on using it safely with an entitled nobhead in it.

I've also frequently been literally walked into by men as I was walking along the street. When I was young and realised men did this, I would look out for them so that I could avoid them hurting me. Which is their point isn't it - they are giving women they do this to, a very clear message that if we don't submit to ceding the space they are demanding from us, they will use their greater size and strength to hurt us.

It's a very subtle (or perhaps not so subtle) form of male violence, or at least male dominant behaviour against women - they tend not to do it to other males, unless they are generally violent and the other males are smaller and they estimate, weaker than them.

Then they can use their male privilege to deny that they're doing it and women are imagining that they're doing it.

I'm very small - under 5ft - so I used to put it down to that. But having discussed the Putney bridge incident with friends, a lot of much taller women than me are saying they too, have frequently been pushed aside, barged into, walked into and sometimes it was obviously deliberate. One friend said she was really shocked to be barged into by a woman once as it's so unusual, whereas men barging into her is par for the course.

I dunno, I suppose I'm just wondering how common it is, I thought it was just me.

Fuck me, this has literally never happened to me!
However I've been grabbed, groped, told to smile more times than I can count, but never actually physically pushed, oddly.
Road rage is usually from men who funnily enough look sheepish when I get out of my car/pull over/ wind the window down and scream.

My dad was an abusive cunt. He LOVED screaming at lone women-the smaller and more petite the better. Any time I feel a man trying to undermine my existence or threaten me physically they get the wrath of those years of abuse. I made someone cry once. Im not fucking sorry either.

Lass that's my point. It isn't terrible to make way. However, apparently to this user it was so terrible that they came on here to describe the situation and share her terrible experience and find support. You read about women being picked up and carried away and then you read this and you just gotta think...

Datun what right? To take up all the space because they can't be bothered to move?

I experience this shit on a daily basis. We have to walk past the exit of a train station on the way to school, the exit leads to a small narrow road with a pavement on one side only and is, naturally, full of young children on the way to school. The commuters are all heading in the opposite direction to a business park and having just disembarked a train there are a lot of them. They think nothing of barging straight into the kids or parents (mostly women) and many of them of course have their faces stuck in their bloody phones. My tactic is to grab the kids hands and firmly walk in a straight line, moving for no-one. The road only leads to a car park and is perfectly safe for adults to walk on, and many do. However there's always the entitled cunts who think nothing of trying to force children onto the road or women with prams. They're not all men of course but being somewhat of an avid observer of others behaviour, the majority are and my walk to work is also peppered with men who apparently can't see me.

Wow, didn't think many people would've experienced it, so I'm sorry that some of you have. I've never ever been physically shoved out of the way by a male (since silliness in school days). I don't know if I would be livid or just upset in that situation

I understand why he wanted them to move, because he was on a bike and on a roll

But the rights one person shouldn't override those of nine others

If the footpath was one on which mixed use is permitted I think it's a bit precious for those who could easily momentarily step aside, or go into single file, not to do so otherwise the cyclist will be constantly stopping and starting. The wheelchair is different - if he couldn't pass it without dismounting then he was at fault but if it was a case of the pedestrians being unwilling to go into single file or even onto the grass- that is unreasonable of them.

As a commuter in London (and in my own experience), I find other women and mothers with buggies to be as rude as men. On some occasions, even more so.

I was out for a lunchtime walk with a colleague by the Thames. There was plenty of room for anyone to pass even though we were two abreast. A male jogger deliberately swerved and ran into me using his shoulder to slam into me, winding me. He was making a point, not sure what the point was, I was not in his way. I think the point was I hate women and this is how I can injure one without any comeback. The Putney jogger immediately brought that back to mind.

If you commute into central London you get used to rude fuckers, men and women. I have been slammed into by a woman at a platform barrier. Not sure why. It was off peak so the station was empty, there were plenty of lanes free to the barriers and the train was not ready to depart.

I have been lifted out of the way because I was not walking fast enough. It was in Venice, and I was dawdling in a touristy way. A business man walking fast did not even bother to say excuse me - just lifted me and put me to one side. Did it without breaking stride, it was kind of impressive. I also had a bit of sympathy. I used to live in a tourist area and trying to get from A to B everyday was an assault course, not great if you are carrying shopping.

I am going to try the bitchy resting face and standing my ground combo - I already have the face off pat, just need to practice standing firm.

Can you give us examples of people who have been thrown under the wheels of a bus Sunflow with these nasty 'women and mothers with buggies'.

See, I can't ever imagine expecting a wheelchair user to get out of my way. And I'd rather punch myself in the face than repeatedly ring a bell at them.

No manhowdy but I'm not sure you can extrapolate from the anecdote that the cyclist did either. It may well have been that he was looking for people walking abreast to briefly go in single file to allow him to cycle past without going on to the grass.

In the city I find everyone is as bad as each other.

I didn't the post like that. I read it that purely because he was on a bike, he expected others to move on a trajectory where they were all using up an equal amount of space.

Including the wheelchair user.

Maybe the poster will clarify.

I read it as the pedestrian users were taking up the space of the width of the footpath. Unless it was so narrow they were walking in single file I don't think it is unreasonable to move to allow the cyclist through. The poster said the children were stepping on and off the grass anyway. Unless the footpath was marked as no cycling users should be reasonable to each other- ploughing into pedestrians isn't but neither is refusing to move to allow cyclists to go past.

Be we had a female cyclist near bowl me over as I walk on the correct side of the footpath. Nor a female skateboarder. And verbally abuse me while doing so. Only males.

There's a phrase for this already?
Manslamming.

Slimthistime

That has a very catchy ring to it.

I'm adopting it.

I wasn't too bothered about moving ... it was a bit more of a struggle for the wheelchair user.

MrG good idea to read my post properly before adding your oh-so-pithy replies. Run along dear, there's a good chap.

Manslamming is good.

Here is another terrible example. A male cyclist with a bike that shouldn't even have been on the public highway, killed a woman and then blamed her for being there. In his way. because she shouldn't have been. Because he was on his bike. Which was illegal on the road.

The cyclist story is on my FB feed right now with a whole bunch of men commenting saying it was the woman's fault.

Horrendous.

Omfg
I hope he gets done for manslaughter

That's atrocious. No sense of accountability? He sounds like a complete sociopath. I'm a cyclist and I've met his type - it's a generalisation, but fixie riders are notoriously arrogant, particularly to other road users & pedestrians. If you didn't know, a fixed wheel bike means that there's no freewheel, so you can't stop pedalling. A fixie with no front brake means you can only stop it by bracing your legs and skidding the back wheel to a stop. Riding that on a busy city street is fucking insane. And he thinks it's not his fault?! I hope he gets the book thrown at him.

Oh Bird I read it properly alright. And I know that scenario all too well. And the irony of your post is hilarious :)

That guy though. "I don't have a front break, because I don't need it because people move out of my way and if they don't it's their fault". I wonder if he ever thought about applying his logic to cars and bicycles instead of bicycles and pedestrians. Given his bike is illegal, we can hope he gets punished :)

When I go swimming, I am frequently overtaken by men who should get into the faster lane with the other men if they want to go at the pace they are going at; quite often they'll kick me or shove me aside as they overtake

Haven't read the full thread yet but had to comment directly because am horrified. I was swimming here and one young fella swam into my feet accidentally (because he was messing around with mates, granted, but he wasn't malicious) and the staff were like You! Out! Straight away. How is that tolerated???

IKR? The whole point of a lane system, is that you have the option of going fast, medium or slow and there is simply no need to be overtaking, unless you are in the fast lane and there's nowhere faster to go. In which case I sympathise, but as others have said, it's possible to overtake people without actually kicking, barging or shoving them.