Cat calling

[Cocklodger]

I'm sure this one has been done to death, I don't frequent the board often tbh.
now I hate catcalling. I'm sure every woman has or will experience it. Its not pleasant. It makes me angry and sometimes it scares me,
But today I've seen a post on FB (with someone of a similar view point to me) being ripped into, because
''Its just a compliment''
she's a ''fun sucker''
''I bet she would've REALLY just asked for his number''... Those comments came from women.
Now I, being me decided to defend this person and found the same comments hurled at me. I've now just left it because I've gotten to the point where I can no longer even try to come up with a coherent argument. I have also received personal insults(about my appearance and the fact I'm obviously a bit fat since I was recently pregnant baby under 2wks old)
i just didn't realize how acceptable it was, I genuinely thought it was wildly noted as pretty fucking annoying (If I'm being generous)
I don't even know what to say.
Wtf is wrong with people?
Can someone please reassure me that I'm not wrong? I know I sound bloody pathetic but for some reason finding out how acceptable it is has actually quite scared and shaken me a lot....

It's about the effect of power ON women.

Because we are a huge part of society and society is broken!

You know what research says about mothers influences on male behaviour? Or single mothers results when raising young men with regards to crime rates?

We are all in this system together, and we all have problems, we have to look to fix all problems, taking responsibility collectively is the only way forward.

It's about the effect of power ON women.

So why, when there is an absence of women do men sexually assault men?

Because it's about power, not so much about the victim, the victim is generally the weakest dear in the herd, which is women currently.

Noone should be a long term victim, tell 30 million women they are victims and you will get 30 million victims.

Speak

If Xenophile wants to use stats to back her argument, using a stat that proves men are nearly twice as likely to be the victim is hardly the way to go, don't you think?

Single mothers to boys that do not have a positive male role model in their life

Mmm where are those fathers

Because it's about power, not so much about the victim, the victim is generally the weakest dear in the herd, which is women currently.

So report cat callers to their boss.

What else ?

Single mothers to boys that do not have a positive male role model in their life

Mmm where are those fathers

BINGO! Thats exactly my point, we are all in this together! The system currently is skewed, and women need to fix that to help us succeed, but victimising us isn't the way to go.

Anyone who uses statement such as 'Men are...' have lost the audience (Men and women) before the discussion takes off, that is my point.

Women are most likely to be killed by their partner or ex partner (often most in danger when they leave)

Men are more likely to be killed by a stranger or having got into a fight and also man men are killed due to crimes they have got involved with and by other men

So what can women do to change all that what does the scientific evidence say

The system currently is skewed, and women need to fix t

Spit it out Piz.

You 5 point plan.

Datun

What else is the right question to have! We should be discussing that don't you think?

If we agree that all men aren't evil, but cat calling is unacceptable, then the uestion must be framed squarely on cat callers, and how to deal with it when it happens, whilst simultaneously understanding why men do it, and reeducating them.

Are we at least agree'd on that?

It's not about who the victims are it's about who the perpetrators are. Men kill women. The fact that men also kill lots of men too does nothing to reassure me that I should not be wary of an unknown man when I'm alone. Women very rarely kill other women, therefore I'm much less wary of an unknown woman.

What are you taking about bingo

So women have to force men to stick around are they to be blamed for children feeling angry and rejected by their fathers

Or are you suggesting that these women were poor mothers if they were better role models themselves all would fine in the world

*What else is the right question to have! We should be discussing that don't you think?

If we agree that all men aren't evil, but cat calling is unacceptable, then the uestion must be framed squarely on cat callers, and how to deal with it when it happens, whilst simultaneously understanding why men do it, and reeducating them.

Are we at least agree'd on that?*

This is like pulling teeth.

Enthusiasm

Thats a great point, reasoning for murders is key. If we say that cat calling is bad, and use a murder stat that highlights the death of women at 1 every other day, as xenophile did, then we are not doing justice to the women who are overwhelmingly killed by someone they know, or doing justice to the men who die at near twice the rate.

The link between crime, and sexual behaviour in adolescant males is linked to single parent/mums, and mother nurture. We have a role to play obviously.

I am really not sure where you are getting your information on single mothers and sons that commit crime and mother nurture

i would be interested to know though so please do share

If we say that cat calling is bad, and use a murder stat that highlights the death of women at 1 every other day, as xenophile did, then we are not doing justice to the women who are overwhelmingly killed by someone they know, or doing justice to the men who die at near twice the rate

Eh?

Murder is bad therefore nothing that is less than murder can be called bad

Men kill more men than they kill women therefore you mustn't mention the women killed by men without mentioning the men killed by men because... er... I mean men kill loads and loads of people and women don't really kill that many people but... er... there are more male victims of male violence than there are female victims of male violence therefore the female victims are just a lot less important?

This thread reminds me so much of when I used to go on pro choice boards in 2005 and have to argue with neckbeards about stuff that was only ever going to be theoretical to them.

The link between crime, and sexual behaviour in adolescant males is linked to single parent/mums, and mother nurture. We have a role to play obviously.

Yeah it's obviously the woman who gets left holding the baby that's answerable.

It's definitely nothing to do with the bio father who isn't involved.

Definitely NOTHING to do with men's behaviour.

Anyone who uses statement such as 'Men are...' have lost the audience (Men and women) before the discussion takes off, that is my point.

Well depends on the audience doesn't it?

Since when is it the job of women to stop men being dicks to eachother??

This is an interesting comment to me. Why is it not women's job ? You seem to want to say that either the absent father is to blame or the single mother - one or the other. You can't seriously hope that men will somehow stop being violent only to women but carry on murdering each other (at a higher rate than they murder other women).

Seems from reading these boards for a while that any disagreement is usually based on an acceptance of class analysis. It's like saying "men were responsible for 99.9% of deaths in 2nd world war" which is technically a true statement, but since it treats the men who gave their lives trying to stop other men doing evil things and the ones who did evil things as one and the same, then what purpose does this serve other than to be an very abstract although technically correct assertion ? When we say "men are not doing enough to stop other men being violent and behaving threateningly" - "men" dedicate their lives to this very cause and always have. Isn't that what's at the middle of all these debates ?

Identifying that men and women are socialised to behave differently is very interesting, but directing anger about it at "men" or seeking to put the blame for it all on "men" is controversial. "In my experience women are lying cheating bitches" is the male equivalent of what is often written under the guise of feminist analysis, with a grudging "but not all men of course".

grow

That was in answer to Piz's response to catcalling, saying it had little to do with the women concerned and more to do with the power men like to exert, over both men and women.

Personally, I think males are genetically and hormonally more predisposed to violence than women. And the socialisation of males merely reinforces it.

Women, being the recipients of male violence in the form of cat calling, need to call it out every time it happens and make it socially unacceptable.

Giving daughters as much self-esteem as possible and raising sons to be more collaborative, whilst recognising we can socialise them differently, is also a start.

"Women, being the recipients of male violence in the form of cat calling, need to call it out every time it happens and make it socially unacceptable. "

Hi datun, in what way call out?

Well Piz's suggestion was to go straight to the foreman and report it. I have to be honest, that had never really crossed my mind. But I agree with it now.

And yonic The reason it never crossed my mind, is because I would feel I was being a bit precious and overreacting. Just goes to show..

It's like a woman on another thread, at a conference in a hotel found a man in her toilet. When she questioned his presence, he told her to fuck off love. That was the basis of the thread. However she had in mind to email his employer, but said she was struggling with not coming across as a precious tattletale.

Is the problem that some women like it because they do genuinely see it as a compliment and that propagates the idea that all women really, even if they deny it, like it?