Why do girls let the boys get away with it?

[Weneedarevolution]

My DS is doing A levels. In geography they have been put in a group of boys and girls - 5 students I think. They have to complete a project. The girls have organised and allocated th work, my DS has minimal work to do. He is GOOD at geography his input would help the girls. He is quite happy to let this happen as he can benefit from their efforts while getting on with other work.

His argument is that if they had asked him he would have gladly helped but they organised it and he just agreed. I really believe if the girls asked he and his friends would do the work to a high standard.

This has happened through out his school career, he and his friends almost expect it now.

So who is to blame the girls for not asking or the boys for letting it happen?

libprog I don't fully follow your first paragraph in that reply which seems to suggest I'm somehow fuelling misogyny by...I'm not sure what? Being a feminist? Opposing sexism? I don't think men harassing me or any other woman or girl on the street could ever be our responsibility, let alone suggesting it's provoked by challenging sexist culture.

If there's one shy person in a group then yes it'd be best if the others helped them get involved. I've been that shy person in group work in the past and the other girls in my group made sure I wasn't ignored (I used to be quite shy, not so much now). However this was about boys choosing not to do their work and being quite happy for the girls to do it all so they could get on with other work knowing the work set would still be done, not shy boys wishing they could get involved. The story about the English/Spanish translation sounds lovely though!

I wonder if there's a social aspect to this, apart from who's dominating whom or who's the lazy one. Is it possible that the girls have a better bond between them, and they automatically form a team which outsiders (mere males, for instance) would feel intimidated about breaking into, as they would be seeing it? Either side could change things, with the girls inviting the boy to take some part of the project, or the boy could volunteer to do it. But (thinking back to the social world of 16 year olds, and failing) would any of them do this?

It's great if there are some schools, or some set of kids at some schools, where they're used to working together, and if anyone tends to be shy, the others include them tactfully. But maybe there are a lot of times when someone doesn't work with a group because they just don't feel like part of that group.

It can definitely be difficult to be in a situation of having to do group work when the rest of the group are all in the same 'friendship group'. I'm lucky with my school as though there are obviously different groups, and social standing is an issue, we all tend to get on and be inclusive of one another.

In this case though it was just boys deciding it was preferable for them to not bother doing their share of the work and use the time to do other work they had.

Amy

Libprog has joined today and posted solely on this thread, in a way that makes clear libprog is not too keen on feminists.

This sort of posting pattern isn't uncommon on this board.

Thank you for letting me know Yonic! I suppose suggesting challenging misogyny is provoking misogyny should have been a warning...

IAmAmy - and that is the problem, because you make it into a problem. You have completely ignored everything I said, didn't even try to engage with it, and again made it about "girls vs boys" and how it couldn't possibly be the girls' fault. With that kind of attitude you will always get people against you. The funny thing is that I am usually called a SJW for siding with the feminists or with the minorities, and yet you remind me exactly of why that is - I once had a female teacher that was horribly sexist, so I believe I can at least understand the position of women when it comes to being discriminated against and often tell sexists to see it from the other side. But you remind me so much not of that situation in general, but of that teacher. And I think you can imagine what I thought of her. You will not get very far if all you see is black and white.

Anyway, on a different level, you are all about equality aren't you and this is about school? So why are you not campaigning to help boys in school? It has been widely demonstrated that boys underperform in schools compared to girls, and this gender gap has been increasing over time:

www.economist.com/blogs/economist-explains/2015/03/economist-explains-3

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/06/150610093116.htm

Tum ti tum.

How are you enjoying MN, lib prog?

@YonicProbe yes I am new, but do you want to know the reason I came on here? I was having a discussion elsewhere on feminism and one alt-right guy said something like "you think we are biased and arseholes, just go on mumsnet and see how vicious and prejudiced the women there are".

And here we are, I tried to make an argument that had nothing to do with boys vs girls, to get Amy to think about this completely unbiased. I was completely ignored, in fact she seems completely incapable of looking at in objectively, and instead accused of misogyny. If I were a lesser human I would now say wow that other guy was right, women are all feminazis, better vote Trump. So well done.

Is that right?

So because of a single schoolgirl on the internet, you might decide all women are feminazis?

Mmm hmm.

Loving it. :)

How does it feel to live in a bubble perpetuating your biases?

I have been honest so far, I am not an alt-right trolling trying to stir you up, and yet that is what you, without ever engaging with me have decided I am, and started bitching at me with Amy, before ever replying to me.

So I repeat, do you think you are helping your agenda?

Two. Actually.

And yes, you actually think that is not how young men are won over on the internet? They are told this is what women are, they maybe even are skeptical, come on here voila what they were told was right.

Again, do you think you are helping your agenda?

If anything, you are the troll here:

"tum ti tum"
"is that right...mmmm hmmm"

Very mature ;)

I don't think you are here in good faith. Every post you make convinced me further of that.

Byeeee!

As I said, keep living in your bubble.

At some point you will realize it's not leading you anywhere.