Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

639 replies

Enzouk · 14/10/2016 23:58

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

OP posts:
Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:36

Did any of you actually read the daily mail link btw? Because i was going to post another link which i saw tonight (which is what initiated this thread for me)...but if people are going to get irationally angry and refuse to read it then there's basically no point.

OP posts:
OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 15/10/2016 00:36

Also OP feminism is NOT about having control over men. It's about having control of ourselves, our bodies and our lives.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 00:37

I get the feeling that some of you here are all about having complete control over men rather than simple equality...

I get the feeling you're a goady little shit.

Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:38

Olivia benson... I don't even know if thats a genuine question... Of course i would chat to other guys on a night out! I have and do a million times over!

OP posts:
EnthusiasmDisturbed · 15/10/2016 00:38

I don't go round expecting strangers to have a conversation with me simply because I want to have a conversation with them or I like the way they look

How do you know they haven't felt physically threatened you don't

That line says everything you are deciding how they should feel

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 00:39

but if people are going to get irationally angry

Bingo cards filling up

Kr1stina · 15/10/2016 00:39

Yup, calling us "irrational" and " angry " because we don't agree with you is creepy too.

As is expecting us to read things just because you post a link to a website which many women won't read

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 15/10/2016 00:40

You would honestly just walk over, sit down and introduce yourself? With no common ground, nothing that initiated it?

I wouldn't go and plonk myself down with a bunch of other girls in a bar unless they'd given me a sign that they'd like me to do so. I certainly wouldn't get cross if I did so and they didn't like it.

Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:40

"Also OP feminism is NOT about having control over men. It's about having control of ourselves, our bodies and our lives."

...and not allowing men who dont fit your physical standards to feel he is able to talk to you apparently?

Do you feel then that it should always be the woman who starts a conversation because these suggestions are being made...

OP posts:
Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:41

"I get the feeling you're a goady little shit."

What a nice woman.

OP posts:
Xenophile · 15/10/2016 00:41

Women owe men nothing.

Not even conversation.

If a man persisted in trying to converse with me when I had simply ignored him the first time, then I wmight point out to him that he behaviour was creepy.

I might also just tell him to fuck off.

I'm good like that.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 00:41

Ok enzo you're in a bar with your mates and a man approaches you. He tries to strike up a conversation. It's clear he fancies you. And you just welcome him into the group?

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 15/10/2016 00:42

Not necessarily. But I shouldn't feel obligated to talk to someone I don't want to, just because it's my place in the world to be nice and polite and docile and compliant.

Think I'm feeding the troll now.

Kr1stina · 15/10/2016 00:42

Oh can I play too ?

Bitter and twisted

Too ugly to get a man

Lesbians

dovesong · 15/10/2016 00:43

I looked at the link but hey, guess what? There are "scientific" studies that prove pretty much everything you want to prove and the word of 170 women in Kentucky is not going to prove your tepid, weak point. You just told women on a women's forum that they're acting "irrationally". Clearly we are all on our periods. Or maybe it's to do with our tiny, tiny little lady brains. Either way, next time you get knocked back by a bunch of women you approach, OP, remember this forum of women telling you the truth about what you're doing, and the fact that you refused to listen to it, and how maybe if you listened to more of what women are saying, they might like you a bit more.

MagikarpetRide · 15/10/2016 00:44

enzo I've not said anything goady to you but I would appreciate if you;d answer how often you drop everything simply because a woman talks to you?

Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:44

OliviaBenson..i have travelled 30 counties in theast few years, mainly on my own. I'm not exactly shy of talking to people. Why should any man or woman be more to the point? The scenarios i'm talking about are not simply about a man 'plonking himself down' and refusing to go away.. .. I'm talking about casual conversation on a night out whether it be one on one or one guy approaching a small group and introducing himself...standing up or whatever

OP posts:
Shiningexample · 15/10/2016 00:44

ah come on now give the guy a break, he's just trying to work on his 'game' doing some research to polish up his techniques

TinklyLittleLaugh · 15/10/2016 00:45

Women are allowed to decide if a man is attractive or not you know. Attention from a man you find attractive will be welcome. Attention from a man you do not, will feel quite threatening.

Just because a man finds a woman attractive does not put her under any obligation to reciprocate, to "play nice". Unfortunately many men do not seem to realise this and will try to insist on some interaction, and become angry when they don't get it.

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 15/10/2016 00:45

Also, this is nothing to do with 'physical standards'. I think you might be projecting that from your own experiences.

The sexiest man in the world would no longer be sexy if he couldn't take a hint.

clumsyduck · 15/10/2016 00:46

I will agree partially op , when I was younger an attractive guy giving me attention would probably be flattering even if I wasn't interested one I deemed "ugly" ( I hate this term because I am very much attracted to personality rather than conventional " good looks " ) would probably be classed as creepy so I will be honest and concede there. However .... when I say I was younger I mean literally a teenager!

Now I view any guy who gives repeated unwanted attention when it is clearly not reciprocated as yes creepy , gross , entitled , weird whatever you want to term it really ! Someone pointed out the "friend zone " thing upthread . Men who use the term friendZone eughhh it makes my blood boil . Awwww did you not realise every female you ever encounter wouldn't automatically fall at your feet purely for the fact you have shown an interest in them ? What a shock that must be for you . Vom

Shiningexample · 15/10/2016 00:46

we wouldnt want him to get offended and join the 'mgtow' now would we

Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:46

Hey dovesong...if someone swears at me for merely asking questions about whether they have experienced other women acting in this way then yes i'm going to say that is irrational anger. Nothing wrong with that. Some people need to learn to speak properly.

OP posts:
clumsyduck · 15/10/2016 00:47

That wasn't to the poster who mentioned the friend Zone by the way ! Just that the very mention of the term always sends me into a rant !! Grin

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 15/10/2016 00:48

Oh ffs we are not hanging around waiting for a man to come and talk to us and enlighten us with his knowledge

So if you are knocked back its because they are not wanting your attention so stop with the male entitlement and accept it