Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

[Enzouk]

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

So if this mythical patriarchy was created to ensure every man got the opportunity to pass on his genes it did a piss-poor job of it!

I don't know why mythical patriarchy was created, but real patriarchy was created so that men would be in control of which men get to pass on their genes.

Since men are also egoistic towards one another, not only towards women, it logically follows that they would try to prevent other men from passing on their genes.

This then leads to polygyny, which would explain why there is so little variation in genes on the male side.

Or perhaps a disease killed off most men at some point in history.

I respect that attitude Marble, but I'm thinking is there a way of socialising boys and girls when they are younger to make them more accepting of one another later in life, and minimize these sorts of encounters?

Or War?

"socialising boys and girls when they are younger to make them more accepting of one another later in life"

Most folks of the age to approach another person in a bar have friends of both sexes. It's not the "social skills" that's the issue, is it..?

Well basic courtesy is a social skill is it not?? So any man that approaches you in a bar and irritates you with his persistence is by the very definition of the term lacking in social graces?

Unless you are proposing that us men all deep down know the right way to behave, and then some of us flip an asshat switch and start bothering you?

You may be right, but that doesn't match with all of my experience. I have met some men who genuinely have no fucking clue. Although they are the least likely chap to bother you to begin with. Then there are guys who are just friendly and likable, then there are some who think they are but most definately are not. I had assumed it was the last cohort that was the problem. I'll think on it some more.

Unless you are proposing that us men all deep down know the right way to behave, and then some of us flip an asshat switch and start bothering you?

Pretty much.

Well, most men navigate social interactions with colleagues, bosses, friends, acquaintances, neighbours, by treating them as ...people.

See also Dervel's posts.

What would you teach in social skills classes?

I got as far as Page 7 and I've had to jump in. OP you have NEVER seen a man be mean to a woman based on her looks?! I now imagine you living among gods and goddesses because as sure as sht you don't appear to have known anyone who looks like me. Here's a few of my personal, real-life experiences; fat cow, fat bitch, fat cnt ad nauseum for having the temerity to be within a 10ft radius of a man/men, being surrounded by a stag group of men shoving and spitting on me as I baffled them for being a fat in public in THEIR night out, being grabbed by the neck and forced down to someone's backside so they could fart in my face on purpose, having abuse shouted at me from men in vehicles simple because they have to endure driving past me, being told to 'f*ck off PARADING' my effing fat self in public, being punched in the face by a man as his mate held my arms behind my back because 'I hate you you fat cow'... and that's off the top of my head with many, many more examples crushing my humanity. I left out the generic groping and woman-abuse that we as a gender experience ALL THE TIME. I would point out that I did not approach ANY of the men mentioned, nor did I know them in any capacity.

Trust me, being called out as creepy for some creepy behaviour is NOTHING. Now I'm 50 and both disabled and invisible things have improved somewhat. I'm not holding my breath though as I'm no less repellant today.

Unless you are proposing that us men all deep down know the right way to behave, and then some of us flip an asshat switch and start bothering you?

This is definitely the case for men who complain that women call them creeps.

Men who really do not know the right way to behave are called creepy or awkward or whathaveyou by other men, too, and would probably acknowledge that they probably do things wrong.
Or perhaps just hate everyone.
They would not complain that women do not like them.

Truly so so awful. The average man has no idea what many women have to put up with. That's why they think being called "creepy" is a terrible insult.

TrulyFubar can I take a moment to apologise to you personally? The reason I ask this is I was out on my cousins stag do, and precisely what you describe happened. He called out drunkenly to a woman walking past on her own. Pretty much in the ballpark of insults you described, but I won't repeat it here. I told him to fucking pack it in, and tried to make an apology to the woman, she quite understandably told me to fuck off, so I didn't get the opportunity to get across I was not on board with our treatment of her.

So I guess symbolically I am sorry we did that to you TrullyFubar. You didn't deserve we were asses.

I can quite conceive of an asshat switch btw. I've seen it.

Dervel I thank you for your enlightenment. As women are so seldom believed it's going to take a concerted effort by men to a) notice that this crap happens ALL THE TIME and b) to speak up when they see/hear it. And seriously, the creepy thing; don't do it and, if you do, just get the feck over yourself and understand that is the weakest of insults that could happen to you, you precious little flowers.

There really is nothing worse than the angry rejected little man who think's he has some god given right to be heard and paid attention too

there's nothing worse than an angry little man scorned!