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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Feminism: chat

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Original poster

Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

639 replies

Enzouk · 14/10/2016 23:58

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

OP posts:
BabooshkaKate · 15/10/2016 00:20

Oh God, the Daily Fail. You're either terrifyingly naïve or a very tip top troll.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 00:20

dovesong I was just about to post the Margaret Atwood quote.

Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:21

Oh come on...i'm talking abour situations where there are a group of 8 women on a night out and they'll ridicule a poor guy for merely saying hello/how's your night etc, calling him weird/creepy. There is zero physical threat there but I've seen it happen so many times. Will no women here asmit that they have at least seen others use the term 'creepy' as a shaming tactic?

OP posts:
Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:22

BabooshkaKate...i just searched 'the halo effect' and that came up. It has been proven by science hundreds of times over. By the way it is not what made me think to post this thread...i might post that in a bit.

OP posts:
WhoKnewSeamus · 15/10/2016 00:22

Nope. Creepy is as creepy does.
And men do just the same, they just use different tag lines.

BabooshkaKate · 15/10/2016 00:22

What do you think they are being shamed for?

DoesAnyoneReadTheseThings · 15/10/2016 00:23

When you're a woman there is never 'zero threat'. Just because you're with 7 other women, doesn't mean that man won't follow you to the toilet, out for a cigarette, to the bar, to the dance floor, to your home, on your way home etc etc.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 00:23

There is zero physical threat there

From your perspective. As a man.

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 15/10/2016 00:24

If a man comes up to me and my friends on a night out, uninvited and without encouragement, inserts himself into our space and acts like we have to talk to him just because he's a man who wants our attention, that IS creepy.

I'm not trying to shame him by saying that. I'm describing how his actions make us feel.

MagikarpetRide · 15/10/2016 00:24

Nope, I've only ever called someone creepy when they were being creepy. Because I'm not a name calling bully.

MagikarpetRide · 15/10/2016 00:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Laniakea · 15/10/2016 00:26

If a man comes up to me and my friends on a night out, uninvited and without encouragement, inserts himself into our space and acts like we have to talk to him just because he's a man who wants our attention, that IS creepy.

^
that. Why does creepy guy think he's got the right to our attention?

EnidColeslaw771 · 15/10/2016 00:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dovesong · 15/10/2016 00:28

JenLindley- great minds! It's a brilliant quote. I am astonished time and time again how the majority of men are unable to understand it.

OP- maybe these women don't want to be talked to. Honestly, if my friends and I want to be approached then we smile at a guy and do some eye-flirting or go up to them ourselves. It's a safe assumption that if they haven't done that, you aren't welcome to talk to them, because they're just trying to enjoy a night out with friends. No woman is obligated to talk to you. You might not think you're dangerous but they don't know anything about you. I've never called a man creepy without cause (although I'm sure the creeps would disagree)

BabooshkaKate · 15/10/2016 00:29

Look, OP I understand that you are having social difficulties and this has made you feel frustrated and upset. But nitpicking over women's behaviour in a club is not going to fix that.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 15/10/2016 00:29

I have met good looking men who think women should be thankful they are receiving his attention

It can feel very threatening

Laniakea · 15/10/2016 00:29

I'm out with my friends, why do I have to be 'nice' to random men who want a bit of ego stroking?

Kr1stina · 15/10/2016 00:31

zero physical threat

So that would be in one of these fictitious bars /clubs where women are never groped or called names because they refuse a man's attentions

Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:33

Woahhh ...didnt expect that response. This is hardcore feminism I see. So...a man cant even talk to women...as in cant even say hi these days without being creepy?... He cant even initiate a conversation in public?

And the situations i am talking about, the women certainly did not feel physically threatened. As i've said i've seen the same women who acted bitchy to one guy act very welcoming to the next who may have behaved even more directly.

I get the feeling that some of you here are all about having complete control over men rather than simple equality...

OP posts:
MagikarpetRide · 15/10/2016 00:33

I have to say gym life has improved enormously for me now I have ipod and kindle - doesn't work on weights though.

i'm interested in you so why are you being a bitch I'm in the gym to workout, this isn't tinder.

Angry
Original poster
Enzouk · 15/10/2016 00:34

BabooshkaKate...no need for the personal attacks...its just a discussion.

OP posts:
MagikarpetRide · 15/10/2016 00:34

op do you drop everything to engage in conversation with every woman who tries to talk to you?

OliviaBensonOnAGoodDay · 15/10/2016 00:35

Would you go up to a group of men and sit down and start talking to them uninvited? With no encouragement?

Kr1stina · 15/10/2016 00:36

You see, enzo, that's why you are creepy. You are calling us names and not listening to us . Even telling us how we feel.

JenLindleyShitMom · 15/10/2016 00:36

the women certainly did not feel physically threatened.

Are you one or all of those women? How can you possibly know those women didn't feel threatened? Confused