Do women use certain terms to 'shame' certain types of men?

[Enzouk]

Just wondering about female perspectives on this. I increasingly hear women calling guys 'creepy' as a shaming tactic..generally I think that the women doing so do it only if they don't find the man attractive. Where as they will pander to a guy who is physically attractive to thrm they will hate on a guy who acts the exact same way who physically is not attractive to them. I have seen women do it in front of groups of friends in a sort of 'lets put this guy in his place' way. Thoughts? And what do you think of women who do this?

Also, i suppose on similar lines...are women more shallow than men with regards to physical attraction?

Well, having many times been scolded by packs of men on a night out, I reckon you are wrong.

And no man is going to die if he doesn't get sex. I'm still not feeling any sympathy here. I was "involuntarily celibate" for over a year. It's all good, the world's still turning. I got on with other pursuits.

i dont think most guys would scold her id she was saying hello and being polite. I think you are wrong. I think you only have to look at what men call banter about women to know that is completely untrue. I've never heard women speak about men in the way men talk about women as if they are slabs of meat. Ched Evans and his mates for example.

"your ass, my tongue" Ugh.

That experiment was massively disingenuous.

I'd love to see it repeated with fewer, shall we say, pornified come-on lines. I'd imagine all the Brad Pitt lookalikes would get a positive response to "Hey, we match, do you fancy a drink/coffee." Plain looking guys would get their fair share of 'thanks, but no thanks', and maybe a few positive responses.

Because "I want to come on your face and tits", or "Anal?", (even if it comes from Adonis) as an opener, is fucking creepy.

I was talking about fathers.

If no woman wants a child with a man, how are you proposing he passes on his genes?

That really is the core of all sexism, isn't it?

That so many men have thought that access to women's bodies for sex and reproduction is something they deserve.

Almondpudding ..what are you on about? Most women (provided they havent are forunate enough to be biologically able) are able to get sex quite easily with a guy...there will always be a guy that they could potentially reproduce with. May not be the best father in the world but they'll be able to pass on their genes.

You seem to be saying that if a guy isntt attractive enough then he doesnt deserve to reproduce...basically like weeding out the bad ones from the gener pool. Thats pretty horrific..no wonder guys get annoyed if some women feel that way. This thread i think is about women not shaming these guys who arent amazing looking from even trying. If you shame them for trying then youre basically saying that they are not good enough to reproduce (on a basic level) and should be ashamed of their attempts. Youre trying to take away any level of control that these men have over their lives. That is feminism gone too far.

I'm not saying any of those things at all.

Nobody deserves to reproduce. It isn't some kind of prize that people get to win.

Very many women now do not want to have children. That obviously means that not as many men will get to be fathers.

This whole think about looks applies to approaching strangers in a bar, where all the person approached has to go on is looks. Most people don't meet their partners in bars; they get together with people they already know, so it is a combination of looks and personality.

And we don't have control over meeting a person we want to have kids with. I know some lovely and attractive people, both men and women, who just never met anyone and fell in love. That's life.

A big problem with all this PUA stuff is the whole notion that there are some set of rules that you can learn and you will get a woman. There aren't. Life is messy and you can't control relationships.

The only times i saw pua stuff mentioned was by the women replying. Unless ive missed something thats not even what this topic was about.

I still dont think there is anything wrong with men trying to meet women in social places like bars and i dont think women shpuld be rude back if a man tries. Women do have the upper hand dating wise generally and even more so surely now with online dating where they can just choose their guy. So i dont see harm in guys who are overlooked on online dating trying in real life.

The OP linked to PUA/red pill stuff as evidence.

I don't think it's polite to approach random strangers in bars, unless that person has given the impression they want you to approach them.

And of course you don't see the harm, because you haven't put up with men of all ages approaching you from the age of 14. You don't know how horrible it is.

14 almond? Try 11. I was done with that shit by the time I couldn't enter a club or bar.

And this shit about women being shallow? Who are men approaching? Because all they are going on is looks if they're just walking up to women. Unless they're flipping a coin...

*could

MrsTerryPrachett,

If so many guys are 'incel' then doesn't it follow that women are being shallow? How many women really could not get sex at all if they really tried?

I think that online dating has changed things too as it is all on looks. These days when a woman becomes single, one of the first things her friends will say to her is to try tinder, plenty of fish or some other dating site. We know that women get way more mesaages and matches than the average guy and that the women go for the best looking guys because they have so many options. What does the average or below average looking guy do if he cant even get messages with online dating and so many women are using it? Like if he is bald or short and the majority of women instantly overlook him on these sites then surely he has to try other ways. I dont think there is anything shallow about trying to meet women in bars, pubs and clubs. They are social venues and as long as the guy is polite then surely he deserves to be treated politely. And if hes not polite then he can get a similar reaction back.

"Creepy:
Causing an unpleasant feeling of fear or unease"

If you're making strange women feel unpleasantly uneasy, then you're creepy.

Well sex is one thing. A meaningful relationship based on mutual respect and appreciation is quite another. I have a few lovely but physically unattractive friends who are shy/socially awkward or just don't get out much. I'm fairly sure they could get someone to stick a cock into them. But what they actually want is a nice kind man to live with and have a nice time with. Possibly a baby, possibly marriage. They don't expect this to ever happen.

Treating fucking like it's the goal is fine for you I suppose but don't act like women have it easy because they can get a fuck if they want.

And I think it's hilarious that men don't think less attractive men get laid. One of the best guys I ever went out with was short, hairy of back, nothing to write home about. But he was funny, smart, great in bed, shared proper passions of mine and I met him on a night out. But him and his lovely group of mixed gender friends were talking to my group of mixed gender friends and he asked me to go for coffee the next day. Not that night, the next day.

See. Not creepy. But if you have no girl friends to go on a night out with, you might be creepy...

"Imagine you want grandkids some day. You want him to date nice women, find a nice girl eventually....what is your advice to him. "

You can meet potential dates in all sorts of places, not just bars and clubs. Have a wing man or a group of friends out with you. Don't go out on the lash on your own. Women can see men out alone as predatory and odd (compared to someone just out having fun with a mate/mates) plus not safe to go out alone anyway. Just because you might not think you're that attractive, doesn't mean someone else won't love how you look. Be confident (but not arragant). Don't get too drunk. If you're slurring and swaying, that can be an automatic turn off. Keep an eye out to see if anyone is checking you out, or trying to catch your eye. Wait for the right moment to strike up a conversation. Interrupting her mate in the middle of a sentence (for example) isn't likely to get you any browny points. Don't stand too close too soon, or try to sit with anyone unless asked. Pay attention to her body language, it will tell you a lot, even before you open you speak to her. Be respectful. Don't come on too strong. Don't give a compliment unless it's sincere. If she isn't interested, leave her alone. If she's rude, take it on the chin and walk away. Always offer to take her to the bar to order her a drink (so she can see it being poured). If there are a group of girls, only flirt with the one you like. When a man tries to mass flirt with a whole group at once, it can come across as really desperate. Eg "would you ladies like a drink" (I'll go with any of you if I get the chance) vs offering to buy just one a drink. Make her feel special.

I just can't get past the idea that an "unattractive" woman could walk up to a group of men in a bar, make a pass at one of them and be treated with courtesy and respect.

I know, Bertrand.

Zef, as others have posted above, including me, get to know a woman as a person, through hobbies, work, whatever. Attractiveness has many facets of which only one is looks.

But since you are a middle of the night registrant only posting in Feminism to tell women how they are doing it wrong, I doubt you've registered those.

All these men who go on about women being able to easily get sex any time they want. Have they ever really thought about the reasons why a woman might not do that? (Hint: it's not about power-trip gate keeping of her vagina to control men)

I just love it when randoms register in the middle of the night on a feminist board and start haranguing women for being shallow and bitchy! I do! I love it!

In case you missed this gem: It makes sense that if women treat men better then men will have more respect for women too. And if men see women be hypocritical about what is creepy then theyre prob also gomna have less respect for women.

Did you get that, silly women? Creepy men are our fault. Men's behaviour = women's fault.

(PS Isay - thank you . Love yours too! Reminds me of a co-worker I used to have who said it and it cracked me up every time).

Most women (provided they havent are forunate enough to be biologically able) are able to get sex quite easily with a guy...there will always be a guy that they could potentially reproduce with. May not be the best father in the world but they'll be able to pass on their genes.

'Get sex' - exactly what kind of sex do you think an ugly woman approaching blokes in a bar will get? Because, whilst even at my lowest, I had enough self-esteem not to, I had mates who didn't - and let me tell you, it's not sex that any woman wants - it's a blowjob back at his flat, then kicked out and told not to tell his mates. It's not in anyway sex worth having, it's being used as a mastorbatory aid

Haven't RTFT but the difference is the attentions of the good looking male are probably welcome whilst the attentions of someone less attractive probably are not. Possibly not fair but human nature ...

Basing the potential of a relationship on looks alone is doomed. And most women don't do it. Maybe as youngsters, but we wise up.

The OP may have sounded reasonable but it was clear he was looking for tips. There are no tips. You either have 'I want sex' tattooed across your forehead or you don't.

I agree it's harder in this 'virtual' age but who set up Tinder ? Oh, five MEN.

If so many guys are 'incel' then doesn't it follow that women are being shallow?

Lol. Your school didn't teach you logic, evidently.