Is it 10 weeks already @diggitydoo? Goodness. You’ve done brilliantly so far.
Are you able to identify what you’re anxious about?
This might not be you and feel free to totally ignore it but…
I think it’s fair to say that for this particular gang on this thread many of us have enormously complicated relationships with ourselves and food, with our weight, body, self-esteem. Our personal history.
Some of us have suffered trauma and have self-medicated with food.
Some of us have unconsciously inhabited a larger body to hide from the other scrutiny that women’s bodies are subject to.
Some us have nursed pain with food.
Some of us have lost and regained over and over and over again till we are sick of points and syns.
Some of us have said with all truth and bravado ‘I’m never dieting again’ and ‘just more of me to love’ and ‘my weight is not my personality’.
Some of us are afraid it won’t work.
Some of us look calm and are paddling like crazy under the surface.
Some of us, even here on an anonymous forum, are scared of showing who we really are.
BUT - and there is a but…
I think we get you.
I am still working on myself to run my own race. I’m trying so hard to not compare myself to others who started at the same time, or at the same weight.
I’ve never been diagnosed with an eating disorder but I have had disordered eating. Every day I have to work to address my disordered thinking around food.
It’s not easy. It’s still anxiety-inducing.
I also have OCD, not the cleaning variety, the constant intrusive-thoughts flavour.
Who am I if I’m not fat me? Who am I if I’m not fat me? Who am I if I’m not fat me?
Frankly, I don’t yet know. I’ll be me, of course, but maybe I can also be something else. Not better, because I am pretty damn amazing, actually (!), but maybe I could be more me than I’ve ever dared. And that’s scary, but also kinda thrilling…
Well done to anyone who gets through this!
Be kind to your good selves. You deserve to be whoever you want to be. And we’re here, together, all doing that.