Will people hate our wedding, and do I really care?

[QforCucumber]

Getting married in a year, so many stupid family politics that have actually stopped us eloping and doing it in secret (not worth the fallout from mil) that we've now decided to do the below, I just don't know people will really hate it ....I also can't work out if I'm passed caring or if I still want more myself too.

1:30pm register office - myself, dp, ds and 2 independent witnesses (not family, 1 friend each)
2pm - we take the witnesses and their partners for a nice meal and wine somewhere
5:30pm - party for 150 guests with bbq and arrival drink, 2 bottles of wine on each table. Party to 11:30pm.

Will it still feel special enough to us but relaxed enough to not have the stresses do you think?
Opinions welcome, also ideas on my dress as I cant think of anything casual enough for a small restaurant meal but bridal enough to welcome guests at the party.

There will be a photographer at the evening to capture some memories.

Could you get someone to take photo's of the ceremony?as you say it's the part that means the most and will give party photos some context.

We did pretty much the same thing, but eloped and had witnesses off the street and didn't tell anyone. Married on Tuesday, party on Saturday where we announced we got married. Perfect. The advantage of being the bride is you can absolutely wear what you want and get away with anything. I did full length off the shoulder velvet!

The thing is your wedding is about you, not your future mil or guests.

Yes I’d be disappointed if I wasn’t invited to my children’s weddings, but then I’d probably ask myself why, had I been an overbearing, interfering mum?

If she really loves her son she’ll accept that they have compromised to include her by changing the wedding to what it is now so she is included in the celebrations.

Bringmejavabringmejoy

I'll let her know she's not a sane lady then, thanks for that input

The bit that strikes me OP is that say 'do I still want more myself' - you don't seem that happy with the plans. Is this just about it being a compromise with the MiL? If she isn't going to be happy with the plans and doesn't agree that it is a compromise wouldn't you be better going with what you actually want? Could you afford to go away to get married the way you want and still have the party? She loses nothing then as still isn't invited and the day itself isn't tainted if she doesn't get over and get into the spirit of the party.

Sounds perfect! As long as you have your dream wedding - you shouldn't care about anything else.
It's about you and your partner getting married. You are not doing this to entertain others.
congrats

I did wonder if this was about his Mum being divorced and bad feeling existing.

2 friends as witnesses and large part to dilute his family sounds like the best solution. Families!!!!!

@Slievenaman

What the hell have you reported my post for?? Being supportive of the OP.??
< quaking in my boots because someone reported me on mumsnet. Not>

Grow up. Is it ok for people to be cruel to the op without being called out on it??

No, calling everyone who wasn't pretending to cry for the OP "faceless bitches " and the like

Is it ok for people to be cruel to the op without being called out on it?

Yes, as long as you do it in a snidey roundabout way.

Cruel? Now who needs to grow up? Where is the "cruelty"?

You're the one whose comment was deleted love, you tell me.

I think they got confused and deleted the wrong one! All it said that I was reporting the pp above me.

😂😂😂😂😂

Oh goodness me,
Not sure what this has even become.....as nightmareish as wedding planning maybe

slievenamon
Nope, they didn’t delete the wrong one. I’ve got a nice email telling me exactly why your comment was deleted. If it had just said that you were reporting me ( for telling the truth as it transpires) then your comment would not have been deleted would it? If you can’t understand why I suggest you do as Mumsnet advise and read the guidelines of what you should and should not say. A recap never harms.

QforCucumber

I just hope you have a lovely day and that it is a wedding which you want and which makes you happy. Try not to be coerced into doing it in a way which neither of you want as you will regret it ( in my experience you do). So if I were you I would involve MIL in every way possible whilst making sure that it’s YOUR way and YOUR plans how you do it. Like the saying goes, you can’t suit all of the people all of the time - and in this instance.........suit yourself! Good luck, and have a marvellous day however you do it!