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How do I ask a friend to stop sending baby photos?

242 replies

Onesidedfriendship · 23/06/2026 13:10

I have been friends with someone for around 20 years, we are the same age but I had my children a little earlier so mine are now almost teens. Friend has recently had first child. We have always got along really well and her and her husband are very close to my children but I always remained quite respectful of the relationship and continued to talk about other things, went out without children for meals, spa days etc. I would occasionally send photos (if a big event at school or if child was wearing/using a gift they had bought) but again didn’t overload with pictures of kids. Now friend has had child the relationship has totally changed, she only messages me if it’s something related to the child or spam me with pictures. Can be up to 10 pictures a day on some days. If I message her about something else, she will reply but then will turn the conversation back to the baby and send more photos. I’m just finding it all a bit exhausting. Additionally, I had very bad feeding journeys with my children and didn’t breastfeed either which I always found quite upsetting. I have no problem with breastfeeding/bottle feeding and have always remained mute on the topic with other family/friends as quite frankly it is none of my business! But now this friend has also taken to sending me quite graphic photos of her breastfeeding her baby and I’ve just hit my threshold limit, it’s dragging up old triggers and quite frankly want it to stop. I’ve tried the ignore tactic or change the subject but she continues to do it. I have to tell her as it’s really affecting our friendship but don’t quote know how to do it. Am I being unreasonable for wanting friendship to go back to the way it was or at the very least stop the graphic photos?!

OP posts:
Mustreadabook · 23/06/2026 17:20

Onesidedfriendship · 23/06/2026 13:24

When I say pre teens, I mean my children are in primary school and by graphic I mean fully naked from the waste up (it’s not that sort of friendship and we have never been naked got openly changed in front of each other). My husband was on my phone the other day and a message came through so the picture showed up and he was quite shocked as he obviously hadn’t seen my friend in this context before!

Tell her your husband sees your phone that will probably stop that!

FizzyPopLove · 23/06/2026 17:20

RampantIvy · 23/06/2026 17:16

While it might not be "exhausting", it certainly is boring to have an endless stream of several baby photos every day. I wouldn't even "like" them. I would just ignore them and only respond to something not baby related.

Hardly anything to get upset about like the op.

thepariscrimefiles · 23/06/2026 17:29

FizzyPopLove · 23/06/2026 17:20

Hardly anything to get upset about like the op.

The breastfeeding photos do bother OP as she wasn't able to breastfeed even though she wanted to and the photos bring back those feelings.

Duvetdayforme · 23/06/2026 17:33

It’s weird she’s still sending 10 photos a day at eight months. Do you think everything is OK with her? Can you ask her to go for a drink one evening?

Onesidedfriendship · 23/06/2026 18:08

KarmenPQZ · 23/06/2026 14:50

I’d suggest to her an app such as tiny beans that then journals the pics and you can check and comment at your leisure. Really push the idea that she’ll have hundreds of photos to sort through and this will make her life much easier in the long run.

you cannot police what people send you especially in terms of volume.

She has this already, I’d say there is about 600 photos a month on average. And she’s sending me the ones she’s put on there, inc the boob ones so I have the potential to see them all twice 😂

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 23/06/2026 18:11

Just tell her that your husband has admired her boobs 😁

beadystar · 23/06/2026 18:53

My Dsis does this. They don’t tend to change. Eldest is 10 now and all she sends or talks about is kid stuff. You can stop the pictures downloading into your phone photos and you can mute the chat so you don’t get notifications. You can also set WhatsApp to disappearing messages. The shortest time it will keep them is a week. Get the hint… Hopefully it’s a PFB stage that will pass but be prepared for it not to. I like the idea of responding to 10 pictures of baby with 10 pictures of your favourite pot plant or pet but maybe not worth the effort.

wandawaves · 23/06/2026 22:56

UserNineNine · 23/06/2026 15:24

I don’t have to imagine very hard.

People have busy lives and can’t be expected to respond ten times a day to a photo. I’ve got a thousand photos of my kids, send me your number and I’ll send you ten a day to react to. 👀

Who says you have to respond to each and every photo?
I love cute baby photos, but I wouldn't be responding every time. Just respond once a day or something.

XMissPlacedX · 24/06/2026 00:41

Just put a ‘cute’ emoji as a reply to the photos and get on with your day. She is your friend who is proud and excited about her new baby. You sound mean.

worldsgonemadnow · 24/06/2026 07:13

Use your words. You've been friends for a long time. She knows your history I assume. Right now she's caught up in baby honeymoon mode, is excited and clearly wants to share her journey with you and in doing so is not considering how you may find it difficult. Tell her how you feel. If you don't, things will continue as is, you'll potentially lose the plot and your friendship will suffer badly or end. If you value your friendship, talk to her.

Arcticbattle32 · 24/06/2026 07:20

Sounds a little odd… I would archive the chat so the messages don’t pop up and stop replying, or just reply from time to time.

Gentlydoesit2 · 24/06/2026 07:28

Wow. Glad you're not my friend

CaringCucumber · 24/06/2026 07:28

You can delete the photos.

I'd mute her and just check in now and again. She sounds ott.

DallazMajor · 24/06/2026 07:31

Start spamming her with photos of your tits.

LiveTheDream8998 · 24/06/2026 07:32

I don't know your friends circumstances but it sounds to me like she's waited a long time to be Mum; even if she's not necessarily come across that way. There may be a reason for this.

Please allow your friend to enjoy this time being "Mum" too.

I'm really sorry that the breastfeeding is difficult for you and can understand why it could be. Maybe explaining this to your friend is a way forward "I'm so glad that you're able to feed your little one. It was something that, as you know, I had difficulties with. To this day, I'd had liked that to be different for our journey." Hopefully this may help your friend to understand a little more.

Possibly. I hope so.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 24/06/2026 07:35

I'm going to level with you..
Based on my 2 x experience of this with other friends now acquaintances... Your friendship is dead

This is "who she is now"

ChatterB · 24/06/2026 07:39

Id archive the chat and use messenger or something that costs to send pictures to chat with her! Anything said just say, oh im having problems with the app but this is working fine!

LittleBearPad · 24/06/2026 07:41

8 months in! You’re a saint to have made it this far. The multiple bf photos is weird. I’d archive her abd check every few days. Definitely change the downloading settings - you’ll run out of storage for your own kids!

Penguin92 · 24/06/2026 07:44

What do you reply to her? Especially the breastfeeding photos? Side note: it’s not possible for breastfeeding to be graphic.

Athwart · 24/06/2026 07:48

Bookbears · 23/06/2026 14:19

Presuming that the baby doesn’t have two heads, if she’s sending pictures of herself fully naked from the waist up it means that one tit is on display. I would say that’s quite inappropriate if you don’t have that type of friendship. I know my husband wouldn’t want to see my best friends tits with or without a baby attached to them.

Then your DH should confine himself to his own, nipple-free phone?

YourOliveBalonz · 24/06/2026 07:49

I understand the breastfeeding disappointment, I was very sensitive about it too and my ‘failure’.

Perhaps that part could be addressed gently and without placing any blame on her:

”Ah she’s looking so cute in that outfit! It’s great you’ve managed to breastfeed and for so long, you should be proud. I must admit though, even years on, seeing those pics I still feel that pang about what I couldn’t do 😢 hope you’re both coping in this heat”

Something like that where you make your own feeling known without making it her problem - but where if she has any self awareness she might think again before sending another topless one. You could try humour, I’ve seen more of your boobs than my own lately sort of thing, but as that’s a sort of shaming/chastising it may be better to just be open. Especially with a friend.

Yerroblemom1923 · 24/06/2026 07:55

I'm guessing all the "bfing isn't graphic" comments are from those who breezed through the bfing stage, OP. My dd is 17 now and I've had therapy but it still smarts a bit when I see stuff like this as wasn't able to bf as long as I would've wanted and struggled hugely.
No helpful advice but let's hope she pops another one out soon and the novelty wears off!

Gemilo · 24/06/2026 07:55

Stop commenting on the photos or just give a heart reply every now and then. Then delete the photos immediately. She will get the message.

GreenChameleon · 24/06/2026 07:57

I'd just mute the chat and reply every couple of days. Sounds like your friendship is over anyway - she will probably continue focusing on her DC, and you sound a bit mean. I don't think you're suited as friends anymore.

LittleBearPad · 24/06/2026 07:59

Athwart · 24/06/2026 07:48

Then your DH should confine himself to his own, nipple-free phone?

I’m not sure it’s the DH’s fault that his wife is being sent unsolicited naked photos!

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