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How do I ask a friend to stop sending baby photos?

242 replies

Onesidedfriendship · 23/06/2026 13:10

I have been friends with someone for around 20 years, we are the same age but I had my children a little earlier so mine are now almost teens. Friend has recently had first child. We have always got along really well and her and her husband are very close to my children but I always remained quite respectful of the relationship and continued to talk about other things, went out without children for meals, spa days etc. I would occasionally send photos (if a big event at school or if child was wearing/using a gift they had bought) but again didn’t overload with pictures of kids. Now friend has had child the relationship has totally changed, she only messages me if it’s something related to the child or spam me with pictures. Can be up to 10 pictures a day on some days. If I message her about something else, she will reply but then will turn the conversation back to the baby and send more photos. I’m just finding it all a bit exhausting. Additionally, I had very bad feeding journeys with my children and didn’t breastfeed either which I always found quite upsetting. I have no problem with breastfeeding/bottle feeding and have always remained mute on the topic with other family/friends as quite frankly it is none of my business! But now this friend has also taken to sending me quite graphic photos of her breastfeeding her baby and I’ve just hit my threshold limit, it’s dragging up old triggers and quite frankly want it to stop. I’ve tried the ignore tactic or change the subject but she continues to do it. I have to tell her as it’s really affecting our friendship but don’t quote know how to do it. Am I being unreasonable for wanting friendship to go back to the way it was or at the very least stop the graphic photos?!

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/06/2026 13:12

How old is the baby? How can a photo of breastfeeding be so ‘graphic’?

Watchoutfortheslowaraf · 23/06/2026 13:14

That does sound annoying although I’m not sure breastfeeding is graphic. Hopefully she’ll calm down soon- she’s in a full baby bubble right now. Just heart them or something. Or send ten photos back of your teens

MrsPinkSky · 23/06/2026 13:14

She's just caught in the PFB phase that's all.

It may pass or it may never.

If you can't scroll through quickly and make suitable ooohhhs and ahhhhs, I guess you'll have to tell her to stop.

But I think the latter would be a bit mean tbh.

PotolKimchi · 23/06/2026 13:15

You can archive a chat on WhatsApp and only check it from time to time. I am surprised that her breastfeeding her child is so triggering when your children are presumably adults. It was your choice not to send her photos and it is her choice to share her baby's photos. Neither is right or wrong. If you do want to say this to her you might have to accept that the friendship will dwindle away.

Poppingby · 23/06/2026 13:16

I am not sure there is a way to do this and not cause a row and risk the friendship. You don't say how many kids you have but umpteen years of he odd photo of kids means you've still sent her more photos than she has sent you. I would be very offended in her shoes. I say give her a break for 6 months or so and find a way to manage the messages (by moving them, muting her, or whatever). I'm sorry you're finding it difficult but I suspect you have forgotten how baby centric you will have been at the relevant time. Everyone is.

Rondayvu · 23/06/2026 13:16

Change settings so that pictures do not automatically download nor save to your phone and if queried why you have not commented on pics tell her you had to do this to save storage and memory on your phone.

BridgetJonesV2 · 23/06/2026 13:18

Sounds like she's had a child later in life, and it's very precious to her. I'd give her a free pass on it.

Screamingabdabz · 23/06/2026 13:20

They don’t calm down. She’ll go on about this child as if it’s the only one in the world forever. I’ve ended a long-standing childhood friendship over this. They’re obsessed, and dull. You cease to become their friend, you’re just an audience.

Berlinlover · 23/06/2026 13:21

This would drive me insane but there’s nothing you can say without offending her. Sending breast feeding photos is off the wall.

MrsPinkSky · 23/06/2026 13:22

Screamingabdabz · 23/06/2026 13:20

They don’t calm down. She’ll go on about this child as if it’s the only one in the world forever. I’ve ended a long-standing childhood friendship over this. They’re obsessed, and dull. You cease to become their friend, you’re just an audience.

'They' are not one homogeneous mass and as a result, will not necessarily be the same as your childhood friend.

notanothernamesurely · 23/06/2026 13:23

I’d archive the chat and check once a week with the usual ‘ahhhh baby is so lovely’ and maybe a little
general chat and then repeat in a week.

Onesidedfriendship · 23/06/2026 13:24

When I say pre teens, I mean my children are in primary school and by graphic I mean fully naked from the waste up (it’s not that sort of friendship and we have never been naked got openly changed in front of each other). My husband was on my phone the other day and a message came through so the picture showed up and he was quite shocked as he obviously hadn’t seen my friend in this context before!

OP posts:
OutOfApricots · 23/06/2026 13:24

PotolKimchi · 23/06/2026 13:15

You can archive a chat on WhatsApp and only check it from time to time. I am surprised that her breastfeeding her child is so triggering when your children are presumably adults. It was your choice not to send her photos and it is her choice to share her baby's photos. Neither is right or wrong. If you do want to say this to her you might have to accept that the friendship will dwindle away.

The OP's dc aren't adults. She says they are not yet teens.

And of course it can be triggering to see constant reminders of someone else doing something that you desperately wanted to do, but couldn't.

Helloskeletonface · 23/06/2026 13:24

This would drive me nuts too.

Times are different now. In my day you took a photo, sent it off for developing, waited a week to get them back so they were too precious to give willy nilly to everyone. so this just didn’t happen.

send her back the exact number of photos of messy bedrooms, dirty rugby boots, sticky finger marks on light switches - anything equally naff and mundane which reflects your family life and hope she gets the message.

other than that the advice not to download is good.

btw breastfeeding isn’t graphic

Sesame2011 · 23/06/2026 13:25

Less people are now sharing baby photos on social media so may send via WhatsApp to keep friends and family in the loop with the new baby. It should hopefully tail off as baby gets older (assuming the baby is very young still).

But I think you have some issues of your own you could work through if you dont enjoy seeing photos of your friends baby.

Caffeinepleasenow · 23/06/2026 13:25

She's just excited about her new baby. I'd give her a pass for a while longer.

ThejoyofNC · 23/06/2026 13:26

10 photos a day is excessive but sending photos of her breastfeeding is just plain weird.

Do you always reply?

mrsbowes · 23/06/2026 13:26

Reward the behaviour you want and ignore the behaviour you don't want eg. if she messages you about anything other than the baby respond, if it's streams of baby photos ignore or do an occasional thumbs up.

ButterflyLounge · 23/06/2026 13:26

Just text and say “gosh I feel like I see your baby more than my own recently” 🤣

ToKittyornottoKitty · 23/06/2026 13:26

Onesidedfriendship · 23/06/2026 13:24

When I say pre teens, I mean my children are in primary school and by graphic I mean fully naked from the waste up (it’s not that sort of friendship and we have never been naked got openly changed in front of each other). My husband was on my phone the other day and a message came through so the picture showed up and he was quite shocked as he obviously hadn’t seen my friend in this context before!

She wasn’t sending the photo to him though so I’m sure he survived it, it’s just a breastfeeding woman and a baby, not hard porn.

Dontwearmysocks · 23/06/2026 13:27

Rondayvu · 23/06/2026 13:16

Change settings so that pictures do not automatically download nor save to your phone and if queried why you have not commented on pics tell her you had to do this to save storage and memory on your phone.

Clever 👍

@Onesidedfriendship I would find this mind numbingly dull. I would just stop responding unless there was an actual question asked which necessitates a response!

GilesTurnbull · 23/06/2026 13:27

I really wouldn't say a word. Don’t rain on her parade.

wandawaves · 23/06/2026 13:28

Imagine being 'exhausted' by cute baby photos...

Poppingby · 23/06/2026 13:28

I mean you've been friends with her for 20 years. If she's gone a bit mad after the birth of her first baby and unthinkingly sent you photos of her boobs / spammed you too many pictures I think you are being a bit inflexible not to let it go for now. Maybe give yourself a time limit. If you've reached it, fine, but know that the close relationship you all have is likely to go down the pan if you mention it. She could argue that your children have benefited from another set of loving adults in their lives where her will not because you can't give her a break about it. Maybe you're ok with that, in which case it's up to you.

Screamingabdabz · 23/06/2026 13:29

wandawaves · 23/06/2026 13:28

Imagine being 'exhausted' by cute baby photos...

I think it’s more exhausted by the lack of self awareness and incessant, one-sided nature of the interaction rather than the pictures themselves.