How do I ask a friend to stop sending baby photos?

[Onesidedfriendship]

I have been friends with someone for around 20 years, we are the same age but I had my children a little earlier so mine are now almost teens. Friend has recently had first child. We have always got along really well and her and her husband are very close to my children but I always remained quite respectful of the relationship and continued to talk about other things, went out without children for meals, spa days etc. I would occasionally send photos (if a big event at school or if child was wearing/using a gift they had bought) but again didn’t overload with pictures of kids. Now friend has had child the relationship has totally changed, she only messages me if it’s something related to the child or spam me with pictures. Can be up to 10 pictures a day on some days. If I message her about something else, she will reply but then will turn the conversation back to the baby and send more photos. I’m just finding it all a bit exhausting. Additionally, I had very bad feeding journeys with my children and didn’t breastfeed either which I always found quite upsetting. I have no problem with breastfeeding/bottle feeding and have always remained mute on the topic with other family/friends as quite frankly it is none of my business! But now this friend has also taken to sending me quite graphic photos of her breastfeeding her baby and I’ve just hit my threshold limit, it’s dragging up old triggers and quite frankly want it to stop. I’ve tried the ignore tactic or change the subject but she continues to do it. I have to tell her as it’s really affecting our friendship but don’t quote know how to do it. Am I being unreasonable for wanting friendship to go back to the way it was or at the very least stop the graphic photos?!

She is in her ive just had a baby phase, id just like the pictures and scroll on, i don't think breast feeding is particularly graphic but you can ask.her not to send them, say something along the lines of, sending "private moment" pictures.

Tell her your husband accidentally saw her boobs and surely she will stop with the BF photos!

Id maybe "like" every few days or something if you really want, say you saw the message but busy and forgot all about them,

I did reply everytime at the beginning because I did genuinely enjoy seeing them/ my friend do happy but we are talking everyday/70 odd plus pictures a week!

I also forgot in mumsnet world it’s completely normal to send half naked pictures to people on WhatsApp. I’m not bothered by standard feeding pictures/ it’s just the volume of general pictures / half naked ones that are starting to annoy me.

I have tried ignoring or just sending pictures back but nothings changed. May have to just mute the chat but that’s tricky when you are used to speaking to someone most days!

Exhausting? Receiving photos is exhausting?

I think you’re looking for smthg to be offended by.

Not to mention your tits!

I would text her and point out that your husband has access to your phone and he saw that photo. Might stop some of the pictures at least!

Or get your husband to tell her husband he accidentally saw her tits.

I’d be irritated too op. And I don’t have any desire to see thousands of pics of my friends half naked breastfeeding either. You are going to have to tell her straight, mute her, or put up with it. Personally I’d tell to quit it.

Stop making it about you. Your friend is sharing her joy - she won't do this forever. Just suck it up and be a nice person!

Definitely flag this to your friend!

Friend, it’s so lovely to have updates on the baby, but DH and I regularly use each others phone so please stop sending breastfeeding/exposed photos, I don’t want to see them and DH definitely doesn’t!

It's a tough one, because it sounds like she's still in the very new, starry eyed, look what I made era of parenthood. She's maybe not realised quite how much she's spamming you.

I'd be tempted to just gently say something like "I love how in love with feeding your baby you are, it's amazing. Have you realised that when you send these feeding photos, you're completely exposed in the photos? Might be best to keep those ones to yourself, the cloud and all not being 100% secure".

Aside from that, maybe just heart the photos of the baby when they come through and only respond to direct questions / things other than the baby?

As others have said tell your friend that your DH and DC have access to your phone and you would prefer if she did not send topless photos. Thanks.

Graphic?

Just heart the messages and leave her to it.

This

She's in a happy/giddy place where her world has got just a bit smaller.

This can happen with anything - holiday photos for example.

Be happy for her.

This will pass soon enough!

Just reply “awwh isn’t he lovely!” every few days. She will get bored eventually.

Any other response is mean. Unless you really want to upset her post-partum and lose the friendship.

The fact you have hangups around breastfeeding is your own issue.

What do you mean by half naked?

I cannot imagine what a “graphic” breastfeeding photo is supposed to look like.

Definitely change the setting so photos don't save.
And then when she sends today's 10, just don't open them .
If it's on WA then she will see they are just grey ticked.

Perhaps she will get the hint then.
If she asks why you haven't opened them, just say all the photos are taking up too much space on your phone.

I think if you're finding the pics hard to deal with then definitely a short message saying your dh can see what she sends through?

But yeah, first time Mummy and tiny baby - she just thinks everyone is as excited as she is.

Like a few of them, and continue to contact her in your normal way about non baby related things - you know it will calm down eventually?

“Oooh hubby just saw your nips in that one, can you stop please?”

How old is her baby?

I don't think people are saying half naked pictures are "normal " just that BF pictures are fine for some, if she is there with both boobs out and you find it offensive then why don't you tell her? You might feel better by talking to the woman.

Just scroll past and send her a thumbs up.

If this is really negatively impacting you, I strongly suggest you try and get some counselling, because it's not at all normal to be triggered by photos of a baby and your friend breastfeeding.

I would tell her your husband saw the photo of her BFing as he happened to be on your phone when it came through, so could she please hold off on those.
I'd then mute her and check in once a day, gloss over the baby photos, and just let her enjoy her new phase of life. Please don't say anything to her other than about the BFing photo, as she will be upset. I do think it's a bit OTT sending people photos of your baby, unless it's the baby's grandparents or someone has explicitly asked for them, but suck it up!