What do your classes do that give you the rage?

[friendswithacat]

Mine are, in no particular order:

Get a tiny little knock from the kid next to them (by accident) or bump their arm on the table. Yell in "agony" wincing, clutching their arm (or whichever body part was 'injured' ) looking around accusingly. On the pain. Fuck. Off. Man up (and it is always boys!)

Ben at the back needs a pen. I go over there and give Ben a pen. I resume speaking. Ryan also at the back needs a pen. Repeat. Ellie then also needs one. Did it not occur to you to ask at the same time, feckers???

Say loudly in front of the SLT grass teacher 'Ohhhh, miss, I love your lessons cause we never get homework!'

Someone spilled tea in the staff room. My white top was covered in tea. Every. Single. Kid told me my top had 'brown stuff on it, ugh!' Giggle giggle. My smile was strained.

It's not the date, title, OR objective. It's all three. Because I said so.

You want to move seats? Okay. Back goes the chair, fall to the floor. BOOM, crash, clatter clatter scraaaaaaaape. Don't mind me, I'm only teaching.

A phone beeped. It's an iPhone, you all have one although you don't have pens stop looking around, gasping in pretend-horror accusing one another. And plus kids, it was mine! Ha. Oh and it was me who farted lesson 4. Sorry about that, Taylor from year 10, but you looked a likely culprit ...

Love em really! But share yours.

Dabbing

The outraged face when you ask them to stop talking. 'But I only said...!'

Messing with my glue sticks and flipping them so they land on the floor. And then whinge because they get hairy.

Child disrupting the class- 'pop outside for a minute so we can have a chat'. 'Oh my Goddddddd I didn't even DO anything.'

In forty plus years, I have never had a biro "explode", filling my mouth with ink, covering my hands and the desk. Happens regularly in class.

Is it so hard to pick up an object eg a book or worksheet off the floor even if you are not responsible for it being there? It appears so.

Bottle/glue stick flipping. Being incapable of just speaking quietly to the person next to them. Turning up without a pen. My form dumping their bags on the boxes I keep my class books in.

Do we do that in French, Miss?
Yes, we're in a flipping French lesson!

Oh yes DrSeuss the exploding biro.

Or worse helbelle75 'do we do that in Spanish?' - no, this is a French lesson.

I'm not a teacher, but work in a primary school. I get the rage over bumped heads. We have a constant steam of 'casualties' sent up to first aid because of bumped heads. They can be laughing and joking and itching to go back outside, but we have to go through all of the form filling rigmarole for every. Single. One.
Even worse are the ones who are clearly fine but know that if they say they feel dizzy or have a headache (while laughing and pissing about with their buddies) they'll get a free ticket home.

ripping the velcro on their shoes over and over again
bottle flipping

I have rage just reading about the Velcro theroot! Primary school?

I am terrified to mention this but bottle flipping seems to be dying down at our place.

Exploding biros, yes. And plonking books in the wrong pile so then you can't find their book and they whinge because Millie from year 7 didn't look properly and stuck it on my y11 pile!

I work in a primary school. When the bell rings at the end of break, the kids have to stand still, then on the second bell they line up. Every single time there will be at least one kid who is balancing precariously on one leg. Yes, I know the rule says 'stand still immediately' but use a bit of common sense!

And, like, the way, like, they have to say 'like' every few words, like. Drives me demented. Like.

Year 6. they are sent to their table to start work and then ask if they need their book and a pencil. Every sodding lesson. Or asking if they should write the date and objective.

whining. constant whining how they cant do anything becuase xyz hurts.

Oh god Rick one of the kids was whining today because all the glue sticks were hairy and now I know why!

20 minutes into the lesson 'why haven't you done any work?!' 'Because I don't have a pen'. Grr.

Usually year 7, after lunch, one after another, needing the loo. Go in fucking lunch time!
Arguing pointlessly with me (a lowly cover supervisor) about, in no particular order, the new rules, uniform, much loved teachers leaving and, my particular favourite, the fact we haven't had a snow day for years.(no snow would be the clue)

Love these. I suddenly don't feel alone!

Me: right, I have explained the LO and how you're going to tackle it. We have been through everything you need. Before we start, has everyone got something to write on?
Class: yes
Me: has everyone got something to write with
Class: yes
Me: Ok, you have 15mins to complete this task - go!
Jonny: Miss, I haven't got a pen.
Peter: Miss, I don't get it
Sally: Miss, I haven't got my book

Or when I've used the same power point 2 days running and forgotten to change the date.
Me: Ok write the LO and today's date, which is Friday 6th, not Thursday 5th, sorry about that. (repeat 15 times whilst they write, just to be sure)
Jonny: Miss, it's Friday today, not Thursday
Me: Peter, why have you written Thursday 5th?
Peter: coz that's what it says on the board

When telling someone to stop talking/muttering/tapping, they then list everyone else who is also off task..."why is it always me?!" - usually because you're the one talking.

Someone doesn't have a pen, cue at least one child throwing a pen to them...every time they get bollocked, but they never learn. Or maybe my bollockings are rubbish, that's only just occurred to me.

I'm currently on a career break and I miss all this!

Oh the date thing, Maureen! Yes!

Or the date will be on the whiteboard AND the IWB, and they still ask me what the date is.
Same goes for when the task is written on the board, right in front of them.

Yep. They never know what the date is, unless the date is wrong and then you have thirty children telling you it's wrong!

Nobody having a pen.
Being told to fuck off every other lesson
Mobiles

Screwedup- I agree, being told to fuck off. Being told to shut the fuck up.
Nice...

Do you know what the really terrible thing is? I get all this sort of shit and I work in a university, with adults who have chosen to be there are are incurring thousands of pounds of debt to do so.

But will they shut up and listen (even after repeatedly being told to) or put their phone away or take a pen out of their bag at the start of the class or do the actual groupwork task they've been set? No.

I sometimes think that someone has swapped their bottom set year 9s with the students I'm supposed to have.

Tapping pencils.
Asking if they can start a new page when they have got to the bottom of the one they're on.
Asking a question only for someone to put their hand up as if to answer said question and ask for the toilet/a drink/something equally unrelated.
When working on whiteboards, someone will say that their pen doesn't work and it's like a Mexican wave of children telling me that theirs doesn't work either.