How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

25 @redlip but they were just chess pieces remember. I bet I know which his favourite chess piece is too.

@JustMerkinYourChain crying at the Jilly Cooper Spitting Image puppet. I can barely see what I'm typing 🤣

Yep, that would be the sexy horsey piece and all those porns pawns.

The lipgloss thing is weird because that’s just one of those really unimportant things - like minuscule. Even between people that get on, you’d be like ‘oh I shouldn’t have asked, looks like she one of the people that don’t like sharing things like that.’ And if I was the one that was asked and worried that I’d looked a bit unkeen I’d try to tell myself that the other person didn’t notice because… not a big deal. Also - if Kate is one of the people that prefers not to share personal items then 1: it won’t be personal to Meghan and 2: I expect she could afford a new one and wouldn’t actually care. So it’s weird all round.

The 100% thing I can say is that my husband would be 100% oblivious to that type of interaction / micro expression. Men noticing women’s expressions and interactions regarding lipgloss?!

So either Harry was looking at Kate for every minor perceived snub or it’s come from Meghan which is a bit embarrassing. To be honest though - the one thing this book has done has actually made Meghan look a whole lot better - because it looks like the majority of the batshit is coming from Harry.

The Rattlebone Inn 😂😂

Sponsorship deals with Birds Eye / Iceland coming soon.

It’s not a feminist win is it, really. Meghan is championing women in sexist adverts from the age of 12 and Harry is braying about mounting women in beer gardens.

I haven't read the whole thread but I hope he's not hinting that the older lady that likes horses was Camilla !

This thread is nearly full 😢 will starting a new one @SnottyLottie ruin the magic? Or are there still further furlongs to romp? 😂

Have found the perfect gift for Willy to give Harold as an apology for the dog bowl dunking that I'm sure is forthcoming:

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/125657379579?

If Kate is on here that's definitely going in her basket

This thread is hilarious- been giggling throughout and much needed tonic to post Xmas blues. I was dreading the book coming out as assumed we’d have another barrage of nastiness directed at the RF. I hadn’t realised he was going for a comedy impact 😂 It’s brilliant.

On a serious note - Meg must have read this first surely!? I mean she’s smart isn’t she and I’m really struggling to see why she’d allow this to be put out there. I don’t mean that in a “it’s her fault she made him do it” way but in a genuine “is she off her rocker supporting the release of this” way. It’s in no way done anything to improve either of their images. He’s dobbed her in on her mean baby brain comments and petty lip gloss grudges for a start. Then painted himself as an utter pray with his frozen knob, taliban killing, bin lid talking, smallest room and window blocked by the workers car poor me stories. I mean Charles and William are gaining a whole new respect from me here. I’m sure that wasn’t the point. Do we think she’s smart enough to have bluffed him eg agreed to him releasing all this then using in divorce as evidence ?? I’m actually feeling sorry for her today and I really don’t like her or her actions but imagine being married to him.

JustMerkinYourChain

The lipgloss thing is weird because that’s just one of those really unimportant things - like minuscule.

I'm just surprised that Meghan - someone who's used to publicity and who understands the need to look as good as possible in photo shoots, public appearances etc - would have forgotten to take a basic touch-up kit with her.
I always had a lipstick/powder/concealer repair kit with me at work, and that was just because I needed to look professional, not glam.
And I really wouldn't want to share anything going on my lips with anyone but my daughters.

Is not a million miles from me. I intend to explore the field behind it over the weekend.

Reading the lipgloss posts is making me really really want to buy a new lipgloss.

I would love to see this book turned into a comedy film 🤣
I've no idea who would be in the cast as who, but it's guaranteed to be a winner.
Maybe spitting image could do a feature length one 🤣

I doubt she'd be interested in my small tub of Vaseline!
I looked up the pub in Wiltshire
It should put ' Harry's sausage surprise' on its menu. One of the specials

Let us know if you find anything mare and spare related.
The pub name had me howling too 😂

I’m surprised there wasn’t a makeup artist!

Harold might be though?

I was once at a doo and a neighbour seeing me applying Vaseline said that's just what I need and grabbed the tin. I was 🤢

I agree, I hate this notion of 'poor Harry, he must be mentally unstable', actually he seems fairly calm and in control - he's just showing us a nastier side to his personality.
To me he seems more like an avenger, lashing out at anybody who he perceives has slighted him or his wife. Yes he has gone through hardships in losing his mother so young, and having to deal with scrutiny from the press - but so has William at only a few years older than him.
As for his mental health, it probably isn't good as he's in the middle of an ongoing emotional conflict that neither he nor his wife seem able or willing to heal from - I wonder has he thought about the mental health of those people he is slagging off? Probably not.

I thought that was a joke pub name

Meghan employs a make up artist who travels with her. That's such a strange story.

Snort