How Harry lost his virginity

[SnottyLottie]

Harry described losing his virginity as "a humiliating episode with an older lady".

He said it was "with an older lady, who loved horses very much and treated me like a young stallion".

The excerpt read: "'I mounted her quickly, after which she spanked my ass and held me back… one of my mistakes was letting it happen in a field, just behind a busy pub. No doubt someone had seen us'."

source: Sky News

well I don’t even know what to make of that 😬🤭😆🤣

It's the 'mounted' bit I am struggling with and hope it is a translation issue

Who 'mounts' someone? What a fucking weird thing to say.

As an older lady who admittedly doesn't particualrly like horses, I have never been mounted, to my knowledge

Exactly. Even if a few words are mistranslated the actual anecdote and the context will still be the same.

The media who had released the extracts are cleay all using the same books and its Spanish not ancient sanscrit so I find it unlikely they are mistranslating it.

Some posters defending them are acting like the papers are just making up any old nonsense.

God and I thought Alan Titchmarsh won the worst sex scene award.

Someone stop him!

Mountbatten. Mountsmackem.

Some posters defending them are acting like the papers are just making up any old nonsense.

I agree, it must be a mostly accurate translation. Even the papers couldn't have come up with half of this stuff. 🤣

Translation is hard and things can be lost
Punctuation please.
Translation is: hard and things can be lost [so we nipped round the back of the pub]

I'm imagining some prankster translator with a random words generator just inserting bits here and there for a laugh.

What a mess, though. This isn't going to end well.

Quick ride, after which she’d smacked my rump and sent me to grace.”

Poor Grace! I imagine that she was the school nurse who had to help clean him up and button up his trousers! What a job to have!

It transpires that The Great Nott Cott Willy Wrangle was merely a complimentary aperitif. This book just gets better and better. I actually think that there is a market for a second book!

Harry talks about ''how disrespectful it was for one of the Queen's private secretaries to park next to his window and block out his bedroom light'' (Sky News)

😁

I've heard there will be a second.

Ruairi McSorley is raging Harry stole his claim to fame

What the heck has he left to put in a second book?
Omg, we now know the Royal Penis was cut when he was a baby, has had frost bite and where it found its first hole. 😳

And going by reports at the time it was never confirmed if Harry or Wills had been circumcised or not. So he's totally undone the attempts by his parents to preserve their privacy then. William must be raging!

The next three books will be boring in comparison I bet.

Good translation on a literary (and I use that term very, very loosely) level is actually very difficult.
You can roughly translate to get the sense of a phrase but to get the equivalent style, tone and context of the original takes time.
I love these translations for their sheer awfulness and will be fascinated to see how they compare to the original.
Thinking of that phrase 'held me apart' or whatever it was, could that be a bad translation of 'me apartó'? Which might have been 'pushed me away' or even 'sent me on my way'?

Tender Penis would be an excellent porn star name.

He has another 3 books coming out WHYyyy😫

The word "tender" makes me squirm anyway but that's just made it a whole lot worse 😖

Another three books?

What on earth can be left to say? 😂😂😂

I only read on mumsnet there are four books ..I've no real idea though
This one seems bad enough and caused many problems already etc
Goodness knows what will be left to write !
I suppose his marriage , kids ?

Just to confirm, that yes, he is reading these words aloud in his own voice 😀

Yes some of the stuff I’m really laughing at but then I feel uncomfortable laughing at (not with) someone who so obviously is not mentally or emotionally stable. I feel annoyed at his wife because no matter how much fans will defend her she is NOT looking out for his welfare.

He’s been in Hollywood too long and seems to be labouring under the misapprehension that we want to know every last second of his life. I feel no better knowing this and I think he is a proven drama llama whose brother probably pushed past him and then Harry threw his stallion self into the dog bowl 🤣

No one can save you from yourself if you're determined not to pay any heed.

Sadly I really don't think he has the faculty to be smart about what he's doing and whether or not it will be good for him/his family/his own little family unit.

I don't understand why everyone insists that Harry is mentally ill or unstable. Just because he's behaving in a way that we wouldn't doesn't mean there's something wrong with him. That's just an excuse like the usual MN 'are you sure they don't have dementia?'. Some people are just arseholes and behave like ....arseholes. All of this, the documentaries, the podcasts, the book are his choices, no-one has made him do it and now he just has to live with the consequences good or bad.