It's not a secret. I did post about it on mn at the time
Basically was with dh no 1 from 1992 - 2011 so almost 20yrs. He suffered from depression. And on antids but life was ok afaik.
Had some bleak days but equally very happy days and a good life - went to work and holidays and saw friends etx and was ttc but due to unexplained infertility was on list for nhs ivf
One day came home after staying with a friend for the night and found dh dead. He has hung his self
He left a note saying couldn't cope any more with the darkness
My whole world collapsed and heart shattered into a million pieces
Was a terrible time and even now some dates /memories /songs etx get me
But equally time really does help and after counselling I got my head round , if that's the right word and accepted it was his choice
2w lafter he died was told at top of nhs list for ivf and our turn. Another double blow
9mths later I met out of the blue my now dh 2 via friend on Fb
Wasn't even thinking about looking for love and had some serious cold feet but went to oz and missed him so said we wouid take it slowly
We are so not each toner types and totally chalk and cheese but seem to work. He had 3 kids all almost in 20's but agreed ttc
I told him wouid need to be ivf but as he has kids 'lost' my nhs go
Got engaged 2yrs later but we decided ivf was more important then a wedding
So went privately. Mini blondes took
5 attempts and a lot of money lol and is my world
Planned to get married in May 2020 but covid lockdown cancelled that. Same with May 2021 but got a cancellation and finally tied the knot July 2021 and mini blondes was bridesmaid
Been together 12yrs. Mini blondes is nearly 7 and married 3yrs this summer
Life goes on. It has to.
I feel lucky that I met and loved two wonder men. Many don't even find one
But I still don't like hanging scenes
That was a lot of woffle lol. Bet you wish you never asked now