MAFS UK 2023 (Spoilers welcome)

[browneyes77]

All chat about MAFS UK, including any spoilers. Completely open forum!!

I’ve been on catch up. As was unable to watch the first few episodes. But am currently catching up. Please feel free to share any opinions, goss and updates here!!

Nothing is off off limits!!

I agree
@BIossomtoes
and even with the same partner each encounter can be different, depending on various factors.

I think he is far too good for Peggy, he has monetised his hobby, he is living the life - independently. She has a child’s bedroom and her father is a very rude man. Her mother “tells it like it is” but is also extremely rude. Peggy keeps repeating “people like me more than you” to Georges but I think that’s because she doesn’t have a single opinion that goes against the mainstream vote. She’s basic in every way. A card board cutout of “wife”.

The sister did ask Georges what his intentions were at the wedding. He should have asked Peggy. I suspect her intentions were £££

Peggy needs to grow up - she's still tied up mummy.

How sad for Thomas, I don't believe Roz was genuine from the beginning. I hope Thomas meets someone really very special.

Tasha didn't look thrilled to be staying at Paul's parent's house. She didn't appear to go back there. She did look rough the next day though.

Peggy is bland and a product of her parent's treatment of her - their little princess. Tasha is thin-skinned and mean. She always seems to be a bit grumpy. She usually walks into the dinners yelling something like "way-ay bitches!" but she's rarely/never shown laughing/smiling/joking. She'd be such hard work in a relationship.

I think she has sex addiction issues. She has been sex mad and giving the impression of lets get it on. Soon as she is supposedly in the real world is thanks for the sex and the I don't want kids with Thomas. Why really kick him when he is down. The women is fake and needs to seek sex addictions help and Thomas deserves much better than her. I had an ex like her. Sex , Sex and I bet if he was on work away he would come home to find her in bed with someone.

Well looks like we can see from the coming next that Peggy I am doing it for you babes. Lasted all of 30 secs and Ella has gone on the Raz and belittled JJ. Seeing a BBC show on transition. It gives some really good insights was from the 70s and catches up to the 2000s. It sadly points out what we see her. Yes, you can be in the right body, but there is so much baggage mentally & emotionally that drinks and drugs can be an issue as they don't deal with liking themselves at the core and put work / sex validation in place instead, so as JJ finds how can you try and love someone who down inside doesn't love themselves.

Like the saying of Gaga to Beyonce you can fix a mirror honey, but you still know there is mother decking crack in it even after fixing it. That is what sadly a lot of transitioned options lead. Fix the outside and tick the boxes , but leave massive issue left to fester inside and a combo of both for those needing this need that

Really questioning Peggy's motives as exactly the same conversation seemed to be going on in the clip about the next programme. It has been pretty obvious all the way along that she is not into Georges and has given various reasons/excuses. For goodness sake give the man a break and leave. I think he genuinely likes her (and still does from what he has said recently). To keep stringing him along for personal 'airtime' is callous but she doesn't seem to have the enotional depth to realise this. I think Georges (again) glossed over quite how sh**ty they were to him. I wish he would be more vocal about HER shortcomings and the fact she never supports him despite what she says.

A nasty drunk will always be a nasty drunk. I don't think making excuses for them is healthy. I wonder what other insults Ella dished out? JJ's problem is he wants a woman who looks like a party girl but doesn't act like one. Women who spend thousands on fakery (which is what he has said he is attracted to) don't tend to want to stay at home with you reading a book or watching TV.

More glossing over by the experts: Tasha and Paul. "Tasha speaks a little bit more harshly" and "read the room". Err no, don't be a nasty cow. Tasha completely distanced herself by basically saying I can be blunt/sarcastic but people don't always get me - right so it's their problem not yours? I felt uncomfortable with Paul explaining that when she is being horrible he is looking to the future (quite rightly) but left saying I should see this as a "speed bump" rather than see it as something more serious. The beginnings of a toxic relationship. Of course couples argue, but if one person is very reactive and the other is uncomfortable - that is not OK.

Can't see Laura/Arthur or Erica/Jordan lasting very long in the real world. Too many issues to overcome. If it is like this in the early on in a relationship, it is never going to work. Laura said "be a better you" ie I don't want this you/who you are. Erica and Jordan seem unable to see things from the other's perspective.

The Roz and Thomas bit was so emotional/sad. It seemed (to me) very genuine - if that was put on then they both deserve an Oscar. I think they were getting on really well but once at home Roz couldn't see this working long term. I know several women who have left marriages/relationships for this reason. From the outside everything seemed OK, but they all said that they looked ahead to the future and couldn't imagine being with their partner for the rest of their lives and didn't want that. In these particular cases they all left alone and didn't have another man waiting in the wings. These were all long term relationships, so obviously much further along than Roz and Thomas. She felt terrible voicing her reasons. When couples are struggling right from the start of MAFS then it is never seems to work. Most of the couples who do get on at the beginning don't work so one where they don't has no chance! Roz and Thomas seem to still be on very friendly terms still.

I don't see Roz as sex mad, she likes sex obviously, but I am guessing the programme was edited to highlight this for their narrative story (again). Sexy wife and reluctant husband - ooer. Thomas just seemed to feel that an emotional connection was more important with sex than she did. Her attitude and behaviour seemed pretty normal (to me) for the beginning of a relationship when you do feel the frisky.

@Boris56788

Well looks like we can see from the coming next that Peggy I am doing it for you babes. Lasted all of 30 secs and Ella has gone on the Raz and belittled JJ. Seeing a BBC show on transition. It gives some really good insights was from the 70s and catches up to the 2000s. It sadly points out what we see her. Yes, you can be in the right body, but there is so much baggage mentally & emotionally that drinks and drugs can be an issue as they don't deal with liking themselves at the core and put work / sex validation in place instead, so as JJ finds how can you try and love someone who down inside doesn't love themselves.

Haven't seen that BBC programme, but yes it is a lot for a couple to overcome. I think it's just too much for someone like JJ, who has already shown and said he hasn't got much staying power in a relationship. He's right though that she's basically not happy. Yes she is showing she doesn't love herself. Not sure that Paul's advice to JJ that he has to continually affirm Ella everyday for evermore is very healthy for either of them.

Peggy just needs to leave, she has had her 15 minutes of fame now. She is not doing Georges any favours by dragging this out.

You hit it on the head , he is wise enough to see the issues (JJ), but the expert is a joke I think a turnip could give better advice I mean affirming each day will tire anyone and is no way equal or encouraging a 50 / 50 split. There is working at things, but if the person has major eg needs pro support to love themselves let. Affirming each day will at worse encourage the bad behaviour and increase narcasim in the person. You cannot generate self worth externally you have to built it within. Having had mental health issues based on bullying and other issues I sort counselling before marriage and got my laundry sorted as the counsellor put it and thx to the pandemic like us all on the anti D's, but I do find a lot more inner peace and love myself more and not project on those around me any lack of self worth. Eg ...body dismorthic due to bullying etc issues about my looks and using sex as a balance of relationship worth and self. Get those bits sorted and realise after the sex sex phase it's the person your wanting and their time makes life 110 % easier.

I think the experts by now are shown to be major lacking tbh. I wouldn't rely on them to mend a tyre if they were the AA. Now the nasty drunk is more to do with issues or lack of self worth. You can have the best body worth in the world, but body dismorthia even as a straight guy myself can be a horrific thing when your own head is twisting what you see as this disgusting thing. With a lot of cases of those that transition they tick the box mentally for why they need it, but not the other underlying issues they will have going on outside being in the wrong body. Look at cases of a man who lost his whole family and transition and then later back. The problem he found was yes the support to check it was ok to do the surgery and changes , but didn't touch the sides on the fact he was mentally fractured by lose and never sorted that.

Id put good money on that Ella is suffering body dismorthia even with all the work and suffers self worth issues. That needs counselling to understand the cause as I bet bullying other issues in there, as even the parents asking if you were gay was said and guys dating her pre and post will not be an easy journey. It's not something everyone can handle.

But, the heavy drinking and sex pushing are classic signs of trying to validate and protect, but JJ I don't think is strong enough character for this and like others have said wants a party girl that is deep. But, to get that you need to be able to tame the horse and the person wanting to be at the same time. That does need the stars to align for both parties to feel secure and retire those wild days. Putting trans issues aside there as many a party girl won't settle till they are ready.

Plus at 28 you don't know yourself for a lot. I had my first child at 27, but I was ready to settle by then , but 25 I wasnt and for many even 30s is still party time for a good few.

Not sure on the Roz issue , if that was planned all along, but brain and audience on pulling the kids card when she wasn't into the guy was pretty shitty and did come over as a me me me what about me.

I think Thomas took it well and comes out well, yes sex in early stages is all normal, but shows the problem of basing it on that alone and going back to normal life. Can't just be all that and marriage isn't. Reason for a lot of failure over series is that no real marriage since series 5, so no real commitment there.

Further flat share for 3 months and then real life, is just nuts. 99.99% is getting over the day to day boring crap and juggling stuff.

So, in reality for it to truly work you need a marriage and up over many yrs like the following kids up series that ITV did and then allow them to leave over time. That way you get a yr , 3, 5, 10, 15, 30 yrs.

But, no TV channel will invest in that time anymore and this is just auzzie import drama gloss with experts in self title and no real legal implications. Who have little role in choosing and like BB all actual psychological tests were thrown out yrs back and it was pretty poor on actual positive results then. We know 70 % are head hunted , so not like they are looking and others will be reality z list types wanting the free invites and VIP area in clubs and mags columns sadly.

Seriously though- Peggy's parents 🤯 pompous, horrible people!!!!!

why should Georges conform to how peggy wants him to be and why is she so insistent on pleasing her parents? I loved when the panel were like 😳 when she was talking about pleasing her parents lol She's a fully grown woman still being treated like a pampered little princess by her parents. She needs to wise up and start using her own head, her parents also should be happy if she is happy, it's not like he's a demon in disguise. they seem extremely snobby and I felt sorry for Georges when they were saying he wasn't good enough for her, why? I'd say Peggy isn't good enough for him !

Just to talk about Jordan for a minute, I strongly suspect he has asd and it explains why he reacts the way he does. When he called out last night that Erica had written the bit Laura quoted from the letter, this is a classic asd trait of speaking the honest truth and hating injustice. He was compelled to set the record straight. If you notice, in arguments he struggles with eye contact. I do think the so called experts are blind to this and just think it's a personality trait that he's in control of. I may be wrong but...it would explain a lot.

Ros...I think she just got cold feet. The honeymoon period was over and she questioned if it was more than a bit of fun. But to say she couldn't see having children with Thomas I thought was very cruel.

I have seen several posts on Roz and sex on this thread and about sex toys, I am so confused!! I have been watching the same show I swear, and I've seen all the episodes but have not seen this mentioned once? Is it possible my TV automatically cuts these references out to make the programmes PG? Is that a thing? I'm so confused!

@RashIDw There are two showings of mafs as my virgin box records both. If you've been watching the 9pm version, you would definitely have seen all the sex talk. So I'm guessing you've been watching the edited version shown earlier in the day.

@Boris56788 @Mothership4two
Thanks for saying it all for me!
I totally agree with everything that you have said.

@Puppupandaway i agree with you about Jordan and he also has ocd which can often occur alongside autism. My DS has autism and I agree there are quite a few things Jordan says / does that make me think maybe he is on the spectrum.

I don’t think I’ve seen roz talk that much about sex to the point I’d consider her addicted. She’s a normal girl of her age, I think. It was heartbreaking how they split but a grown up decision from her which cuts future pain down the line.

as for Jordan, I am inclined to agree about ASD, he is often accurate in what he says but he does not know when to stop. He needs comfort a lot I think.

For whatever reason Jordan is a liability. It’s all about him, there’s no room in his world for anyone else. And imagine the embarrassment of social situations with his complete lack of filter.

I felt so sorry for Roz and Thomas last night. They really gave it a good go and it was so sad to watch the obvious pain they both felt.

But that is why lots of people with autism seek out a diagnosis, so they can be accepted even when they talk out of turn or seem to have a lack of filter. If everyone could appreciate this side of Jordan, if it is asd, then allowances could be made. He still deserves to be loved and be in a relationship, he just needs understanding. He won't get that on the judgemental mafs.

I agree with this, and most social situations are not like MAFS when people are encouraged to get drunk and talk about each other's relationships! When he's happy and relaxed he's very different. He just needs people around him who get him and make him feel safe. :)

I don’t think any of them are massively emotionally mature.

what I thought about this morning was that a lot of the cast, Adrienne especially, have had HUGE traumatic life events happen to them. And it’s not focused on or considered in the same way that the show caters to Ella and her journey. Adrienne, Matt and even Jordan with his underlying issues, do not make a huge song and dance about what they have “been through” yet Ella does. It’s not even that she is trans, it’s something else that she needs from life in order to be happy, I think. She looks how she wanted, so what is she missing that getting a vagina did not fix.

dysmorphia

I've not watched last night's episode yet but you're all so unusually quiet....

Regarding the ASD discussion.
How about Laura?
I would put her above Jordan.