Matt Willis -Facing Addiction

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

Anyone else watch this, it was really good? It's on iPlayer.

I had no idea how many times he'd relapsed,poor bloke. Can't help thinking going on tour probably isn't a good idea, hope he's going to be ok. With the best will in the world being in a situation where you used all the time is going to be massively triggering.

I've never really liked Emma , always thought she was a bit fake, totally changed my mind , she's clearly been slapping a smile on her face and keeping the family together.

So much respect for both of them for being so open and transparent.

And being completely shallow Matt is completely rocking the beard !

I watched this with interest as someone married to an alcoholic and with 3 kids. I have to say that although Matt sounds like he was in a really bad way before they married, he has been sober for 13 years now apart from one relapse when on tour 5 years ago. I'd say that was pretty good going really for an alcoholic. In light of that I don't really understand all the posts on here about the damage he is causing the family and them all being anxious and on eggshells all the time. I doubt their home life is really like that. I think the only thing Emma is anxious about is him going on tour again when that is clearly a massive trigger for him. I can imagine how she will be scrutinising his voice on every phone call! I have no idea where they are touring and whether it's every night but I think it would be best if he planned to come home as much as possible between shows.

What I would have liked to see is more on what he's doing on a day to day basis to keep his addiction under control and prevent relapse. It would be odd if he were doing nothing but that was the impression I came away with. The sessions shown on the show seemed one-off rather than regular treatment.

He is definitely fortunate in that he could afford private counselling with the best addiction specialists and rehab which is unbelievably expensive. Perhaps he does have regular private therapy but they didn't want to how that knowing it's not an option many addicts can afford.

I just felt for both of them, I had a boyfriend who was an alcoholic and it drove me mad. Literally. I left him and had a breakdown.

they both look so haunted but honestly in her shoes I couldn’t stay

After watching it I can't understand why he's going back on tour, and I feel guilty for having a ticket.

After watching it I can't understand why he's going back on tour, and I feel guilty for having a ticket.

After watching it I can't understand why he's going back on tour, and I feel guilty for having a ticket.

Agreed.

Some one just mentioned he has relapsed once . I was unsure about the timelines and if he talked about relapses and going into rehab as different things, so relapses were more often. I found it hard to follow the events.

Yes, I agree this is confusing. He came out of rehab straight before his wedding then says he relapsed in 2016. However, I'm certain I read something recently where he talked about relapsing when his first was a baby and he missed something like her walking or her birthday or something. So that would mean there was a relapse around 2009 as well.

Yes, here: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/matt-willis-alcohol-addiction-daughter-b2264344.html

So he relapsed 6 months after his first was born so around 2009 as well as the relapse he refers to in 2016.

Emma has 1.9 million followers on instagram to Matt's 423k for those who were discussing their careers.

I watched this and was just generally shocked at the whole set up

Something was totally off with it all:

• He has been to rehab 4 times yet never made the connection to his childhood before? Really? What were they doing in his rehab sessions?
• They had never spoken about any of it. Ever? I find that so strange

I just couldn't get my head round being married for 18 years yet never having had a conversation about why he was an addict.

He was a master at bullshit too. Absolute master. He literally said it himself and I can't remember exactly what it was but he contradicted himself on something actually in the programme.

She is in a mess. She has never had her feelings validated in any way about all of it. She literally cried for the whole programme and he never once comforted her in any meaningful way. I found it an extremely sad programme.

@hamstersarse yes I thought it was odd that they never talked about it. I only assumed that his relapses were short and sharp and then he went back to sobriety so they tried to forget about them.
But I agree she didn’t get through one scene without breaking down and he should have let her go to the support group on her own. That would have been much more effective.

I feel that they skated around a lot.

'I'm on my way to see my brother, we haven't seen one another in 4 years'.

'She is in a mess. She has never had her feelings validated in any way about all of it. She literally cried for the whole programme and he never once comforted her in any meaningful way. I found it an extremely sad programme.'

Yes, just so depressing to think what their poor kids have witnessed. Even if he's hidden his 'relapses' she is clearly an anxious teary mess. Understandably so.

What on earth is he thinking going on tour, just grow up and go and get a proper job and stop musing about yourself constantly.

If he goes on tour then he is just giving himself permission to relapse.

He keeps talking about how terrified he is of relapse but isn’t trying that hard to avoid the trigger that he has already identified!

Just awful crocodile tears imo. What a twat.

I hate the term 'relapsed', it kind of gives it an enabling medical excuse somehow. He should just say 'I was a selfish arsehole yet again but that's addicts for you lolz'.

Coincidentally I also watched the Joey Essex one last night on BB3 where he struggles with his mental health following the death of his mother.

Oh I will watch that. Actually find JE extremely likeable and far more intelligent than he lets on.

I like him too. He plays the hapless Essex boy well but he seems a really nice and sensitive person under the fake tan and glow in the dark teeth.

At the support group, did you notice that she did not actually say anything about her feelings about it all. She talked about everyone else in the room, I think she even talked about his feelings.

Yet nothing about how she felt. Despite the fact she was clearly feeling a lot of emotion.

It was so sad for her. He has broken her

Yes he is so wrapped up in himself it is weird, no self awareness whatsoever.

A tour though. I bet he's not going to get through that without 'relapsing'. Poor Emma, she seems so lovely.

Exactly.

If you know something is going to cause something then you don’t do it if you want to avoid that thing.

Isn’t there a saying something along the lines of the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results….

I found it fascinating that when he was talking to the therapist at the Tavistock (I think it was) she was saying about these 'aces' or something that if, as a dc, you are in a household where abuse, addiction etc is occurring you are more likely to become an addict yourself, 'its not my fault' being the buzz phrase, yet neither seemed to acknowledge what his addictions would be doing to his own dc.

Surely, surely having suffered himself with vague negative experiences at home he'd want to ensure his kids didn't endure the same. Its not their fault either.

Yes, Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs). That part really annoyed me as I felt she described it in such an enabling way, as if to absolve him of any responsibility.

I have had lots of ACEs as well, I did 3.5 years of trauma therapy to move past it. Cut out a lot of dangerous family and protected my DC from having the same old shit handed down to them.

Knowing that we have had these experiences and that it is not fair is the starting point.

Accepting that only we can do the work to get past them is the important part. Matt doesn't seem to have done any of that work yet.

Snap. Same here.

To be honest it makes me really angry all this “it’s not your fault” thing in relation to addiction. Whose fault is it then? That doesn’t mean it’s not incredibly difficult to come out the other side of it and of course people should be supported to do so but I actually think it’s really important for people to take ownership.

I drank very heavily to the borderline of alcoholism myself from ages 18-25, I knew I was slipping into ways like my Mum and Dad and so I stopped. Absolutely stopped. I am now 42 and the last time I had any alcohol was age 25, just when I met dh and decided I wanted to have a family. I didn’t want my dc to have the life I had. It’s not easy but I do think it makes it easier for people to relapse if we keep saying things that they do aren’t their fault.