Matt Willis -Facing Addiction

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

Anyone else watch this, it was really good? It's on iPlayer.

I had no idea how many times he'd relapsed,poor bloke. Can't help thinking going on tour probably isn't a good idea, hope he's going to be ok. With the best will in the world being in a situation where you used all the time is going to be massively triggering.

I've never really liked Emma , always thought she was a bit fake, totally changed my mind , she's clearly been slapping a smile on her face and keeping the family together.

So much respect for both of them for being so open and transparent.

And being completely shallow Matt is completely rocking the beard !

I'm going to watch it but having lived with an addict for 16 years I struggle with all the sympathies with him. Emma should be getting them. If he was a guy on the estate everyone would slag him off and be telling her to leave. The utter selfishness and damage caused is beyond anything I've ever known. I left with my kids when they were young but the damage is done. It's great he's been sober so long it really is an achievement but fuck me she must be terrified of him touring. I think it's a selfish stupid decision to put himself in that situation.

I also think it's actually v brave of both of them to do this documentary as it shows just how hard it is to recover. And that fame is no panacea. I hope this doc has helped others to get help, and to remove some of the stigma of addiction.

I am thinking this too.

If you’re (or anyone else) is interested this woman is fascinating- she was a victim of child abuse (be careful if you find this sort of stuff upsetting) and she has developed completely different and separate personalities as a result. Some of them produce their own artwork that is visually very different from each others. She has her own book - she was actually in mental hospital at the same time as my Mum which is why I stumbled across her, I don’t know her personally.

Heres her website with some of her art - well, “their” art -

http://www.kimnobleartist.com/our-work.html

I think I can relate as when I was little and my dad was shouting at me, I'd disassociate ( tho I didn't know what that wasn't the time ), as a way of coping and under stress I still do that now. I could also relate to the v self critical self talk that he had, and how alcohol can just take that all away.

The therapist told Matt he couldn't remember his childhood because the trauma he experienced meant that he shut down and disengaged from life to cope with what was happening. She said it was common with children with DV and assault.

The 'not his fault' comment I thought meant that him being an addict wasn't his fault rather than what happened in his childhood. I felt uneasy about this because whilst I agree that many addicts are not entirely to blame for their addictions (it's the environment and experiences around them) it was almost like Matt was looking for excuses to be found not at fault and a victim rather than accepting he needs to take responsibility for his addictions.

God I wish I looked as "dreadful" as Emma!

What does Matt do with himself all day if Busted only tour every 6 years or so?

Tours are massive corporate undertakings with huge costs- does anyone know if the production/record company have to prove mitigation measures for insurance? If a key performer is a known risk regarding drugs and alcohol, surely a condition of the insurance is to demonstrate processes are in place to protect him from exposure to substances? Maybe not if they have alcohol on the rider? They’re risking a cancelled tour, crew job losses, ticket refunds etc. if he relapses? Does anyone know how that works?

To me it felt like the documentary might be an exercise in getting his excuses in before the tour.

"Look at me I'm an addict, I can't help it" and so I'm doing to do it

There was an element of that, you're right.

I felt that too.

I mean at what point does someone stop being a victim and start taking responsibility for themselves? He’s not a young man anymore, I think everyone can be more forgiving when someone is late teens / 20s and finding their feet with things. He’s 40, with 3 children. How many chances do you give someone?

She's absolutely beautiful. I assumed she wasn't wearing make up because she knew she'd be crying. I really hate it when women on here slag off another woman's looks.

I thought this was a great look into their lives. you wouldn’t expect this to be happening to them. Emma hides it very well. Matt would be a fool to mess this up. He has the world at the moment. As someone whose DH is a big drinker (abeit no where near as much as Matt at the height of his addiction /drugs) i can somewhat relate to Emmas anxiety, living in limbo, treading on egg shells. Keeping a note of how much theyve drank, totting up alcohol units. It drives you insane. I did think Charlie ordering 4 bottles of red/2 bottles of white wine in his rider was ridiculous given his band mates issues. He cant drink all that himself?? Thats 60 units right there.

i do think Matt needs to follow up on his therapy to tackle his childhood issues. I also think Emma ultimately needs to lay it out to him that if he does any drink/drugs whilst on tour, its over, and stick to that. That should help to focus his mind with what hes got to lose.

@fivetonap thank you for calling out the awful comment about Emma.

For those asking, Matt has appeared in a number of musicals in the time when he hasn't been working with Busted.

As for the comments about his bandmate's rider for wine, it's not their responsibility to police his issues by not drinking - for all we know the wine is for guests, etc and that's life: you cannot expect others to modify their lifestyles in the hope it keeps an addict clean. If the addict is going to relapse, they will. Also I think the other Busted member who took part in the documentary hadn't realised the extent of Matt's problem. Addicts lie, they cover up their behaviour and they can be devious in order to get their fix.

When Emma was on Big Brother, she used to meet up with Dermott O'Leary on Little Brother for a quick chat about the eviction, usually in one of the dressing rooms. She didn't used to wear make up then nor was her hair done. She was just very natural and attractive.
I really like her. But unlike everyone else, I don't admire her for this. Her children should come first and she's exposed them to his addiction, but more than that, she's made them live through her fears of his addiction. How is that doing right by them. And even this documentary is exposing their childrens private lives and shows to their friends what they're living with.
She can make decisions about what she's prepared to put up with, the abuse, the lies, the uncertainties. But her children shouldn't have to put up with any of it. And if a MNer came on here and told a similar story, the advice coming back would be to leave for the sake of the children. And instead she's feted for being brave, and her mental health is worried over. I've no time for it.

And Matt Willis was on IACGMOOH. He seemed like a nice, ordinary guy, and not the brightest bulb in the box. And he robbed David Gest of the win. I still feel annoyed over that.
So I could be a bit biased. 😁

I thought it a little sanitised for understandable reasons and there was no explicit description of addicts behaviour so for the non addict audience there was just a sense of a family coming out of something hidden.

I wonder if somehow we expect our celebs/rockstars to have an edge and that makes such addictions somehow more expected and acceptable? Matt has a wealth that means criminality hasn't featured in his story to find an addiction (though it would be good if he educated himself of the realities of cocaine dealing) so there is no judgment from a legal perspective and his career remains intact. I noticed Ant out of SNT at the wedding and he has had similar issues (the crashed car) where after good PR he maintained an extremely lucrative career.

I also felt there was a little bit of 'stand by you man' with Emma and I do take the points about it possibly being foolhardy courage to stay with an addict with a constant fear of relapse. I guess with Busted not exactly being a top draw act now Matt has a lot of time on his hands that needs to be used constructively. I thought he looked utterly lost with a wealthy life style looking back at fame good-looking for meaning in life to 'fill the gaps'

I did think Charlie ordering 4 bottles of red/2 bottles of white wine in his rider was ridiculous given his band mates issues. He cant drink all that himself?? Thats 60 units right there

I assume it's for the guests who come backstage after the show.

And I guess they'll all have separate dressing rooms. That seems to be a thing these days. So Matt shouldn't be exposed to the alcohol directly.

I thought this was compelling viewing and really liked both of them. But having read here I realise I know very little about addiction and codependency.
So apologies if this is a naive question but can someone say how this will impact the children. He has been clean for 8 years so presumably for most of his children’s lives so they wouldn’t see him under the influence. They do have an older child who wasn’t on camera but Emma said the relapse 8 years ago she didn’t spot initially as he was working late on an album.
Is it about Emma’s anxiety setting the tone in the house and probably it being talked about more than they realise?

@Fraudornot yes it's about the anxiety and there is likely an atmosphere in the house the children can pick up on. It cannot be hidden from the children. They'll pick up on conversations, perhaps about not drinking before a party or major event. On not buying alcohol for a dinner party etc. and Emma's fear would always be lingering.

Let's not forget it's not just her putting her kids through this by staying. He's equally responsible and is the one causing all the harm.

There was champagne in front of Emma at their wedding breakfast when he was straight out of rehab so I think it's up to Charlie whether he drinks on tour etc. I actually remember reading an interview with Emma several years ago where she said Matt was all about the body beautiful now and he's safe to be left around alcohol and for them to have it in the house - I don't know if it was before or after her relapse.

I think Emma came across as really nice, I'm slightly baffled about why she wanted to marry someone clearly much more immature than her (he's about 7 years younger than her isn't he?) who had literally just walked out of rehab, really not like she could have been short of options so obviously there is a deep connection there between the two of them.

Either that or she unconsciously spotted an opportunity for a codependent relationship and that was part of the allure. Sad to bring kids so quickly into that dynamic. I know that sounds judgy and I watched the documentary and really liked Emma but I can't make sense of her decisions (and not likely to be able to given I dont' live her life).

I think if he relapses again she needs to leave him. She should do it for her kids.
It's all very well saying 'I'm not going anywhere because I love him'. But that just enables the situation and almost gives him a free pass.

I think her role in the relationship has always been the one to look after him and she is his safe place.

It must be so hard for her. I think she does come across as if she is exhausted with it all and just doesn't know what to do for the best.
She also comes across both physically and as a person very beautiful.
I wish they had focused more on her and her needs and wants.

I had an alcoholic/drug addicted mother and it is so hard for everyone in involved.

ah so that's why I spotted David Gest in their wedding footage!

It was a fantastic season. They all got on so well. David Gest was brilliant and poor Matt never knew what was happening. He was about 2 days behind everyone else. Hehe.
I loved David Gest...even if Liza didn't! I'm so sorry he's gone.

Celebrities can have the same issues as us non-celebrities. Money makes life easier but doesn't absolve you of all other life issues. His issues began before he was famous. He is using his fame to bring attention to addiction issues.

I found the documentary emotional. I love Emma, she has a heart of gold. I never really knew much about Matt and found it very insightful. Coincidentally I also watched the Joey Essex one last night on BB3 where he struggles with his mental health following the death of his mother.