Masterchef. It's back. Go on, you know you want to. Thread the 1st

[Halsall]

New series, starts Monday the 13th (unlucky for some?) on BBC1 at 9pm. Starting on a low gas now so the Greggggg 'observations' can build up gradually to a nice rolling boil.

THANK YOU ❤️ to @MrsTommyBanks for spotting the date and sending out the Mastercheffians bat-signal

@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@RomaineCalm
@GrouchyKiwi
@Wolfcub
@Taffeta
@fourquenelles
@whatashower
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@PencilMuseum
@jay55
@ilovesooty
@iklboo
@shirleyphallus

Apologies to anyone I've missed and I trust you'll see the thread. We need the equivalent of an email group!

56 new contestants to find nicknames for

Though love them as I do - Still reckon Sailor will be the better judge. My two would just however everything up - Greggg - style.

Oh Hoover , not however.

@BasiliskStare

I am honoured to be in the One of Us camp - delighted to be so admitted and I will conduct myself accordingly.

Those doggies look like discerning judges. Especially the one on the left, capable of the most withering stare I suspect.

Just call me Schaden, Basilisk - or even Schade.

I'm not proud

I am going to need you all to remind me that this is actually on tonight. I am absolutely going to forget.

Are all dogs and cats prepared ? I am getting nervous. What if Gregggg isn't that bad - Nah - won't happen. Cooking doesn't get harder than this. & Nor does random shouting.

Oh it is silly but I shall be watching just thinking about little Sailor fast asleep and then when judging has to be done just sitting on Greggs shoes with a look which says I can do this better than you

We just lurk and read all your comments

perfect !

May I just say that I have very old technology here , so no iPad to comment as and when - I have to run round to the big computer on the desk in order to type ( let's take an example ) Oh do F.O Gregg - So just want you all to know there may be a slight time delay from me. It is a practical point merely for information.

Basilisk - why not just type all your "Eff Off Greggs" now - 3 or 4 dozen should do for now - and just post them now and we'll sprinkle them on the programme and season it as required.

I'm blooming pleased I logged in - I'd forgotten what day it is! Thank you Grouchy - your "please remind me" post was the first one I read and it kicked me into action.

Why is it on at 9pm? Is John going to get all sweary? Is Gregggggggg going to present in the nud? 🤢🤮

I'm going to have to watch tomorrow I think. Poo. AND portrait artist of the year is on tomorrow. And Tenko. AND SEWING BEE!!!Aaaaarrrrggghhh!

36 mins to go

@GrouchyKiwi this is your half-hour call

Thank you Halsall.

We are watching The Tick. It is fun.

Tenko, iklboo, tell me more please, I loved it the first time around.

Ten minute shout out everyone

IT'S TIME!

Ding ding round one

Here!!!!

Ready and waiting!

What's The Tick?

Ooh! Ooh! - Tell me the tick thing in a minute - it's starting.

Already That Twat is getting on my mammary glands!

Is he getting uglier, or do my glasses need cleaning?

Foams already spotted

Gosh - that lad's tall!

Tim - Twat!

This series it’s not beards it’s bad 80s specs

Here we go!