Masterchef. It's back. Go on, you know you want to. Thread the 1st

[Halsall]

New series, starts Monday the 13th (unlucky for some?) on BBC1 at 9pm. Starting on a low gas now so the Greggggg 'observations' can build up gradually to a nice rolling boil.

THANK YOU ❤️ to @MrsTommyBanks for spotting the date and sending out the Mastercheffians bat-signal

@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@RomaineCalm
@GrouchyKiwi
@Wolfcub
@Taffeta
@fourquenelles
@whatashower
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@PencilMuseum
@jay55
@ilovesooty
@iklboo
@shirleyphallus

Apologies to anyone I've missed and I trust you'll see the thread. We need the equivalent of an email group!

56 new contestants to find nicknames for

just checking in chefs. How many nans & new babies in the back stories - or doesn't that come in till towards the end?
they have even cobbled together a story with Gregg and John in the "Radio Times" using old photos and by the sound of it old quotes. John's favourite contestant was Lisa Faulkener (his current fiancée haha). I don't think anyone will ever come close to Chucky.

You are right Pencil - Chucky was in a class of his own!

What’s going to be in our bingo this time?

Nan
Plate-of-food
Journey
A chocolate fondant
Greg getting fake-stressed because contestants are 30 seconds late feeding critics

Hello my ravening hordes. I love pleb mc, there's always a deep vein of comedy to be mined (and not at the expense of the contestants, gregggggg is always to be relied upon. And then there's the critics) I'd like to se at least one "traveller" not tourist, who has taken inspiration from his time in Ulan Bator and whose family insist he should open a restaurant/write a cook book/ start a blog about his authentic experience. Preferably called Pierce or Solomon. He'll have many inspirational tattoos and a non ironic beard.

Wolfcub - include a rollercoaster I think. Am wobbling (or on the fence) about a pannacotta possibly involving lavender or rosemary.
Ohwhat - you are damn right about those levels of pretension. Can't wait for next week now you have all whetted my appetite.

And I'm not letting Grouchypup get all the luffs. (Even though he is a Good Dog) and Sailor woukd make a fine replacement for the fat grocer. (Mind you one of sailors poos would too)
Here's my lovely Edie. I'm going to train her to bark at baldy speccy gobby grocers.

Edie is a little smasher, Fuckery

Pencil - even though this is plebTV, I suspect that there might be something "deconstructed" in there . . .

. . .and someone doing this so their 3 month old will be proud of daddy/mammy

Ooh, ooh, found you! Very exciting!

All the pups are gorgeous. They could all do a better job than Greggggg

More for the bingo card...

• Anything cooked three ways
• The 'splat and smear' purée on the plate
• Food smoked with hay
• Things served on a slate
• Foams and soils
• Anything cooked 'sous vide'

Probably reading too much into this but my monte is on the first episode including the following...

Lawyer/accountant looking for a change of career
Middle-aged 'home cook' serving rustic food
Student who practices meals between lectures
Young, beardy bloke with tattoos
Traveller with lots of 'fusion' ideas
Young, pretty, bubbly girl that Gregg can drool over
Someone that cooks variations of curry/Indian food in every round

Edie is very cute OhWhat. I bet she and GrouchyPup would get on very well.

Edie and Sailor I am voting for to replace Gregg - I bet john thorode would not mind working with them.

Although I suspect Sailor if there were lavender or other flowers on the plate he would just toss them to one side , thinking in dog thoughts - this isn't actual food. Same way as my border terrier doesn't think mushrooms are real food.

Oh and a doctor who wants a change of career, despite the years of investment from the nhs and parents.
And everyone will be inspired by their granny.

and they will all use local ingredients which are in season with special mentions for seafood, foraging and samphire.

The foraging in regular MC is one thing but the ones who do it for restaurants - that's actual theft. Drives me insane.

Agree OMG - it's one thing to make a meal from foraged stuff - it's another thing to make a profit!

It just seems so . . .immoral.

Don't know why the italics failed. Full stop too near?

Have we had confit egg yet? Or the devil's frogspawn solidified oil droplets?

Agree about the doctor, Fuckery and I shall be thinking “Have you had enough sleep to be near sharp knives?” 😱

Romaine can we also add to the bingo list various chunks of offal, ie the bits that tend to throb irl.

I will be watching-but we tend to record the episodes and then watch at the weekend with a glass or two of wine(and food-gotta have some kinda nibbles when MC is on!)

The "normal" MC is my absolute fave,closely followed by the Celeb version-I love Marcus but even he can't save the Professionals.

(Did fat Superman win??? Dean??)

Whats that thing called where they have to wear goggles and huge big safety gloves while holding a kitchen tongs and drop it into the stuff that freezes things in seconds??

I reckon we'll have someone doing that.

ooh Edie is adorable OhWhat

Waves to the gang!

I'm going for

Barry (me mates call me Big Baz)
6ft 6 tall and wide
Cockernee Cab driver
Cuisine - the finest, most delicate and well plated dishes that will blow Greggggggggggg's tiny mind that he can pull such stuff off