Masterchef. It's back. Go on, you know you want to. Thread the 1st

[Halsall]

New series, starts Monday the 13th (unlucky for some?) on BBC1 at 9pm. Starting on a low gas now so the Greggggg 'observations' can build up gradually to a nice rolling boil.

THANK YOU ❤️ to @MrsTommyBanks for spotting the date and sending out the Mastercheffians bat-signal

@SchadenfreudePersonified
@ellenanora5
@RomaineCalm
@GrouchyKiwi
@Wolfcub
@Taffeta
@fourquenelles
@whatashower
@OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow
@PencilMuseum
@jay55
@ilovesooty
@iklboo
@shirleyphallus

Apologies to anyone I've missed and I trust you'll see the thread. We need the equivalent of an email group!

56 new contestants to find nicknames for

Shitwell has obv eaten his own top lip. Foul vegan hating ponce

Clearly some tension between torode and shitwell

Good on you Irini. Now where have you hidden all the drachma?

Go Irini!

I would do my hasselback squash and lamb with pickled veg salsa. I did it last week for a hen party and it was a success.

A bit of pinkness?

And 'soo vee'??

High praise for Irini.

Torode's combed his hair. Must be reading this thread.

Can tell Shitwell is proper posh

He does that really fucking irritating thing of saying crating instead of creating

Twat

Well done Irini 🇬🇷.

I've got a bit of a cold. It's making me want to slap Gregg every time he pulls an exaggerated face.

That's not your cold MrsTommy

That is your species memory protecting you against predators.

That mash looks horrible.

Eh my sky just froze, wtf is going on, I'm missing it!!!!

I'll be back in a bit hopefully

crisp that looks very pretty!

I hate game. I cooked venison once as a celebration dish when my husband finished uni and once was enough (have eaten it a few more times than that out of politeness).

I am glad Irini did well even if I would have hated the meat.

Justin's food looks awful because the meat needed to be rested for longer.

bit late to the table. Has Lisa thrown John out already?
Gregg looks as if he should be wearing one of those head injury helmets.
looks a bit too rare Justin.

Cor Crispbutty could plunge my fork into that.

ROFL @ Good on you Irini. Now where have you hidden all the drachma?

Looks fair' tasty butty

Fuck off Shitwell

And you Gregg

Crisp That looks marvellous!

TF was the point of that puree, there was hardly any on the plate.

Gregg looks as if he should be wearing one of those head injury helmets.

No - a massive condom for his massive prick-like head.

Shitwell's peeing himself!

Awww bless lovely Annabel

Oh Annabel. How lovely.

That looks very lovely Crisp although I do believe that radishes are the work of the devil.

Well done Annabelle - fabulous feedback!

Tell it as it is Schaden