he says he’s not doin college now 😩 help

[TiredButTryin5x]

sooo ds (15) just told me out the blue this mornin he’s not doin college now 😩 just said “it’s long n i’m just gonna chill for a bit” like it’s nothing?? his gcses only just finished n he’s barely been out his room since. just xbox n energy drinks n sleepin til 2.

i don’t even know if they’re allowed to not go? someone said before they gotta be in education or whatever til 18?? is that true?? i feel stupid not knowin this stuff but i didn’t even finish school myself n no one tells you what you’re meant to do.

he had a thing open at new city college but never finished the form. i thought it was all sorted but turns out he didn’t do it. he just shrugs at me like it don’t matter.

honestly i’m panickin a bit cos i don’t want him just sittin in his room for 3 years doin nothin. but i don’t know who to talk to or what to say to him that he’ll listen to. feel like he just sees me as background noise at this point 😔

any advice welcome pls x

I'm bowing out now.
I've been a supporter of OP all along as I am of anyone who is at an obvious disadvantage.
Not judging like so many here.

Thank God.

Why has a thread by you been deleted OP?

?

Thread last night with OP asking how she can prove to the council she is overcrowded. Same pattern of angry posters and OP with the wide eyes 'didnt realise I'd get such an angry response' and 'this baby is coming whether people like it or not'.

It was deleted as MN are 'looking behind the scenes'.

Whilst I find it really sad you’ve continued to have children instead of focusing on the ones you have, I admire how much you’re trying when it sounds like you have no support. It sounds like your life has been hard.

For your son think of it like this, at school he would have been with other boys who have more money for them to do activities, days out etc, parents who look at the portals, discuss issues throughout schooling with them, spend time talking about their future, get them getting experience in the career they want, have less children at home so there’s more focus on them. Your son has got to go with the life he has and make something of it so you need to help him overcome all the obstacles he faces or the privileges that others have that he hasn’t. As his parent you can’t just assume school, college will sort him out, he (and your other children) need your focus and full engagement. Help him to be the best he can.

In this context, do we think “looking behind the scenes” actually means ‘suspect this isn’t real’? Or does it mean something else?

It might mean that they're wondering if the OP needs support.

It would be a very time consuming and elaborate hoax if not real given the number of different threads. What would be the gain for someone?

I think that the OP's other thread was deleted because she was getting attacked.

My youngest told me after first year at college, she was done, didn’t want to go back and she turns 18 first week in September so she legally could.
I agreed and said , fine but you have to find a job by end of the summer or you’re going back.
She applied for so many jobs, and got no where. She has realised that another year at college wasn’t so bad. She’s going back.
at no point was sitting on the sofa doing nothing all day an option.
He needs to go to college. They notmally have extra days over the summer for last minute sign ups.

That's not the reason MN gave. And there wasn't any attacking over and above any other thread

I don't think 'looking behind the scenes' ever means anything else does it?

I don’t think MNHQ offer “support”.
Why would they and how would it be dispensed?

They just send links to various agencies which could be helpful, and delete threads where everyone is having a go at a vulnerable OP.

Without a single thread deletion? Or a warning?

There has been a thread deletion. There was rampant bullying on it

The OP had posted under a different user name.

But that was obviously not why it was deleted. That's not the reason MN gave.
It's really odd the way you're plugging a narrative that MN hasn't suggested?

Hi OP - how did DS get on? Hopefully you are enjoying his birthday now!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/teenagers/5394446-what-if-my-boy-fails-all-his-exams?page=4&reply=146569311
Link to OP's new thread. He got 4s and a 5 in English. He got a 3 is Maths so will resit that.