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Teenagers

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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On the verge of kicking her out eldest DD16

631 replies

Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 09:30

She hits her siblings and really hurts them aged 12 and 6. My son when he was interviewed by the court over custody thing drew my eldest dd in the sad house.

I kind of feel these incidents are happening more frequently with exam pressure. I'm on my own with 4 of them. In a three Bed house. It's pretty much like living in a pressure cooker

OP posts:
paxillin · 22/06/2016 19:56

Sounds like your eldest is going to join the stately homes thread in good time the way you blame her for everything.

minifingerz · 22/06/2016 19:58

It doesn't matter if you have one child who is difficult to parent or four. You owe an equal duty to all of them.

Letmehaveausername · 22/06/2016 19:58

I don't see where I have ever said I caused shit for my parents. I've said I was a hurt child, who lashed out (never violently) and had mental health issues due to the way my parents had treated me.

The more I read your posts the more I become seriously concerned about your state of mental health. Either you are a very narcissistic and nasty person or you're having quite serious issues with mental health and anger.

However you have blamed everyone else for your daughters behaviour. I think you should look at your own angry posts and the way you've lashed out as well and realise where she's clearly got her behavioural influences from.

Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 19:59

Don't worry rainbows, water off a ducks back, she's obviously been through a lot herself, it's fine

OP posts:
minifingerz · 22/06/2016 20:00

Letme - the OP is on her knees. Lay off.

Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 20:01

No you're wrong their mini, when one child is difficult it's not equal. I've spent 70% of today with the one that lashes out, 30% of the day with the one that got hurt and the other two have had nothing. That's not fair, life isn't, nothing equal about it all.

OP posts:
Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 20:02

Poor little man had his sports day, obviously I was there but up the bloody wall about this. It's not fair at all

OP posts:
Letmehaveausername · 22/06/2016 20:03

She's not on her knees trust me, she doesn't give a fuck about her kids she's just looking for the attention and to be validated

Greenyogagirl · 22/06/2016 20:04

On her knees but refusing to accept responsibility or help and advice

Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 20:04

Goodnight all.

OP posts:
Atenco · 22/06/2016 20:26

Mmm, so your husband either left because of your dd, the dog, or "when your husband leaves to sleep with 30 year olds and have a midlife crisis".

Yeap, your dd is the scapegoat

ohtheholidays · 22/06/2016 20:37

OP you've now said you won't get the Police involved because it will cause more harm than good,your wrong there and I know that for a fact.

My parents had 3 children,I was the youngest,the oldest was a complete and utter cunt!and my parents defended him all the time and protected him constantly no matter what he did to them.He's stole from loads of us including my Mum near the end of her life and he was 54 years old then!

He's got broken marriages and children who's lives he's fucked up and now they've gone onto have children and they're all acting just like they're father always has,so my parents protecting him is going to lead to God knows how many more generations of that shit!

Back then it was very different as well,prison would have been awful for him but he did need it and my parents always regretted not calling them.
Now it's very very different and I say that as someone that worked with SS and who's husband is a Police Officer,get them involved and there's loads they can do now to help,there's charitys and organizations they can get your family involved with.

The Polices stance now is to get those that are more likely to be arrested in the future(your oldest Daughter is already close to that anyways) on side,so that they can reach out and stop these problems from happening rather than having to deal with them once the act is done.

You sound really depressed and I'm not surprised but you do have to deal with your oldest daughter you can not let her attack her siblings and there be no real punishment for it.What would have happened if your child had ended up in hospital OP?What if she does it again and goes further the next time?She needs to be stopped now before she gets even more violent.

MorrisZapp · 22/06/2016 20:55

Interesting thread.

Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 21:10

Oh the holidays : I do not defend her or protect her at all. I have made it crystal clear to her and the others the behaviour is unacceptable and will not continue.
I know what you're saying and I don't disagree with you.

OP posts:
princessmi12 · 22/06/2016 21:30

LETMEmail and LIZ
Please don't get involved anymore
I completely support your position and resonate what you are saying but OP seems to be on a different planet
You can only help those who want help. Sadly OP doesn't seem to look for solution so let her vent .Looks like she loves the drama.

princessmi12 · 22/06/2016 21:32

Not sure how I mistyped your name LETME
Apology

ohtheholidays · 22/06/2016 21:40

OP no I know your not I was just explaining that's what my poor parents did and I know how it affected them and it still does my poor Dad and he's 80 now and it still effects the rest of our family as well.

What makes lots of us the saddest is the fact that we lost my Mum so she never really had any time in her life where she could relax or feel peace because there was always something going on because of him,one of his ex wifes or his children that are all adults and my Mum had him when she was 18 so nearly a whole life was blighted by his actions.

I hope you find some help from somewhere,I know just what a nightmare it is and not only as one of the siblings,were now having an awful time with our 13 year old DD and we have 5DC,2 of our DC are autistic and I became disabled a year after we had our 5th DC,so I do get where your coming from.

IHaveBrilloHair · 22/06/2016 21:51

I believe you PissssssedOff.
I believe you because I almost am you.
I have thought most of these things, I got to the end of my tethere, I got all the help, I engaged with it, I had the idiotic furniture comments, it was not helpful.

I'm nowhere near a solution, I wish, but I am safe, and I'm safe because I put Dd in care.
It's a horrid situation, it pains me constantly, but at least now I can begin to work through it, have time with DD and reassure her that I love her without the constant fear.

Feel free to pm me.

Hereforthebeer · 22/06/2016 21:51

The OP is probably tired because she's pregnant. Hmm Confused

rainbowstardrops · 22/06/2016 22:01

Jeez, if this is all above board and true then I feel sadness on so many bloody levels.

It's bloody hard being a teenager. It's bloody hard knowing your father couldn't give a shit.

It's hard having to accept a step-father.

It's hard knowing the father of your child couldn't give a shit.

It's hard trying to integrate a new partner.

It's hard dealing with the millions of emotions of a teenager.

It's hard dealing with three other children ...... on your own

Cut some bloody slack people and be thankful your life is easier right now!

JerryFerry · 22/06/2016 22:05

facebookrecruit This is a cock and bull story for attention surely

I don't know if the thread is true or untrue but this poster sure thrives on drama. The poor kids lurch from country to country, crisis to crisis, with the mother's lust for high drama at the forefront of their lives. Countless posters have tried to help, but the trainwreck continues to unfold - and it's never the mother's fault. It has at times been the ex(s), mother in law, ex's new partner, nanny - and now, surprise surprise, it's the daughter. Just really sad for the kids.

Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 22:07

Ex's new partner ? I didn't know he was seeing anyone, how exciting ... Is she nice ?

OP posts:
Pisssssedofff · 22/06/2016 22:08

Ex's (s) again this is news, only had the one so please do fill us in

OP posts:
bigbuttons · 22/06/2016 22:10

This thread should have been pulled by now[ sad]

Hodooooooooor · 22/06/2016 22:13

On your own with 4, in a 3 bed house, and it so bad you want to kick out one of your children to fend for themselves?

Startling good plan to have yet another kid then. Will this one have a father at all?